Pitch a rubbish tv idea
Wino Watch
Each our special hidden infra-red cameras will observe a group of alcoholics in their natural habitat beneath a flyover in Wolverhampton. Watch their strange mating rituals and their intrepid hunting trips for their prey, Diamond White.
Desmond Morris and Bill Oddie will give a running commentary which is sure to bring insight into the lives of these fascinating creatures.
Each our special hidden infra-red cameras will observe a group of alcoholics in their natural habitat beneath a flyover in Wolverhampton. Watch their strange mating rituals and their intrepid hunting trips for their prey, Diamond White.
Desmond Morris and Bill Oddie will give a running commentary which is sure to bring insight into the lives of these fascinating creatures.
IS YOUR NAME RONALD?
Presenter John Fashanu goes around the shopping centres of Great Britain to ask members of the general public the question "Is Your Name Ronald?". If they answer in the affirmative, and can prove this with a valid passport or driving licence, they win a dream holiday. A gripping quiz for all the family.
Presenter John Fashanu goes around the shopping centres of Great Britain to ask members of the general public the question "Is Your Name Ronald?". If they answer in the affirmative, and can prove this with a valid passport or driving licence, they win a dream holiday. A gripping quiz for all the family.
- Penk!
- Midnight to Six Man
- Posts: 35784
- Joined: 07 Aug 2004, 20:12
- Location: Stockholm
What Not To Wear: Celebrity Special
TV 'personality' Russell Brand and crack whore Kate Moss present this special celebrity edition of the popular smugfest made famous by those two women whose dress sense was so good they always made sure to wear clothes that ensured you could tell which was the fat one and which one was the one that looked like a man.
In this first edition, Russell helps out hip-hop legend Flavor Flav, a man whose wardrobe consists entirely of luminescent boiler suits and massive fuck-off clocks. Flavor is initially uncertain when Russell tries to make him wear a scarf in the middle of summer but eventually relents, admitting that he'll do anything to make the honky fuckhead shut up.
Meanwhile Kate tackles pop diva Christina Aguilera, famed for her unusual dress sense. This meeting makes for fascinating viewing as the two stars set a new record for the most gritted teeth and bitchiest compliments ever seen on camera. Eventually Kate backs down, realising that it is at least ten minutes since she last took some drugs and nearly half an hour since she conducted a newspaper interview about her drug hell. Christina gets on with her life.
Next week, some fat guy in a Metallica t-shirt gets told to have a bath by the fat one in the loose-fitting dress and the thin one in the dress which also happens to be far too loose.
TV 'personality' Russell Brand and crack whore Kate Moss present this special celebrity edition of the popular smugfest made famous by those two women whose dress sense was so good they always made sure to wear clothes that ensured you could tell which was the fat one and which one was the one that looked like a man.
In this first edition, Russell helps out hip-hop legend Flavor Flav, a man whose wardrobe consists entirely of luminescent boiler suits and massive fuck-off clocks. Flavor is initially uncertain when Russell tries to make him wear a scarf in the middle of summer but eventually relents, admitting that he'll do anything to make the honky fuckhead shut up.
Meanwhile Kate tackles pop diva Christina Aguilera, famed for her unusual dress sense. This meeting makes for fascinating viewing as the two stars set a new record for the most gritted teeth and bitchiest compliments ever seen on camera. Eventually Kate backs down, realising that it is at least ten minutes since she last took some drugs and nearly half an hour since she conducted a newspaper interview about her drug hell. Christina gets on with her life.
Next week, some fat guy in a Metallica t-shirt gets told to have a bath by the fat one in the loose-fitting dress and the thin one in the dress which also happens to be far too loose.
fange wrote:One of the things i really dislike in this life is people raising their voices in German.
- The Prof
- Trading coffee in Abyssinia
- Posts: 46392
- Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 18:32
- Location: A Metropolis of Discontent
ARE YOU MY MUMMY?
Top celebrities Anne Widdecombe, Gerry (Ginger Spice Girl) Halliwell and Joe Pasquale race around Somalia in a sea king helicopter in an attempt to adopt an orphan against the clock.
Failure to do so will result in Neil & Christine Hamilton being lowered into a gunk-tank. Great fun for all the family.
Presented by Dave Lee Travis.
Top celebrities Anne Widdecombe, Gerry (Ginger Spice Girl) Halliwell and Joe Pasquale race around Somalia in a sea king helicopter in an attempt to adopt an orphan against the clock.
Failure to do so will result in Neil & Christine Hamilton being lowered into a gunk-tank. Great fun for all the family.
Presented by Dave Lee Travis.
- JQW
- Posts: 29052
- Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 13:27
- Location: The Crazy Loquat, Szegerely
I did this one elsewhere:
HADDAWAY & SCHEIDT
German 1990s house musician Haddaway builds a time machine and travels back 400 years. There he teams up with up-and-coming baroque composer Samuel Scheidt and together they form a musical duo. Decamping to present day Newcastle-Upon-Tyne they play the working men's clubs on weekends whilst fighting crime during the week. Soundtrack features both Jimmy Nail and Sting singing and playing Scheidt.
HADDAWAY & SCHEIDT
German 1990s house musician Haddaway builds a time machine and travels back 400 years. There he teams up with up-and-coming baroque composer Samuel Scheidt and together they form a musical duo. Decamping to present day Newcastle-Upon-Tyne they play the working men's clubs on weekends whilst fighting crime during the week. Soundtrack features both Jimmy Nail and Sting singing and playing Scheidt.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell
What Not To Shit:
Combines two of Britains most popular reality tv shows. Trinny & Susannah tells fat insecure 40 something single mums which are the fashionable clothes to eat, whilst irritating ginger Scots lass Dr, Gillian McKeith hangs around witha Tupperware box for 24 hours and looks at their jobbies to determine what is undigested: "ooh luke, I can see a wee button...and half of a zipper..." and advises accordingly. "ya want tae get more cotton and hemp inta ya diet, hen..."
Combines two of Britains most popular reality tv shows. Trinny & Susannah tells fat insecure 40 something single mums which are the fashionable clothes to eat, whilst irritating ginger Scots lass Dr, Gillian McKeith hangs around witha Tupperware box for 24 hours and looks at their jobbies to determine what is undigested: "ooh luke, I can see a wee button...and half of a zipper..." and advises accordingly. "ya want tae get more cotton and hemp inta ya diet, hen..."
Last edited by Phil T on 27 Oct 2006, 10:35, edited 1 time in total.
JQW wrote:I did this one elsewhere:
HADDAWAY & SCHEIDT
German 1990s house musician Haddaway builds a time machine and travels back 400 years. There he teams up with up-and-coming baroque composer Samuel Scheidt and together they form a musical duo. Decamping to present day Newcastle-Upon-Tyne they play the working men's clubs on weekends whilst fighting crime during the week. Soundtrack features both Jimmy Nail and Sting singing and playing Scheidt.
Hasn't that been done already and it was called "Crocodile Shoes"?
- Deebank
- Resonator
- Posts: 24733
- Joined: 10 Oct 2003, 13:47
- Location: Ina beautiful place out in the country
ONE OF YOUR BEASTS ATE MY IPOD
Charles Dance and Jane Seymour invite members of the public to hassle zoo attendants and request that they examine all animal faeces thoroughly to see if an iPod can be found that one of the beasts may possibly have eaten should they have happened to have temporarily escaped at some time in the recent past.
Charles Dance and Jane Seymour invite members of the public to hassle zoo attendants and request that they examine all animal faeces thoroughly to see if an iPod can be found that one of the beasts may possibly have eaten should they have happened to have temporarily escaped at some time in the recent past.
- Billybob Dylan
- Bonehead
- Posts: 31807
- Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 18:51
- Location: in front of the telly
WHAT'S MY DISEASE?
Compere Angus Deayton, with the help of a Nigerian doctor already stricken off the medical register, inject a celebrity panel with a variety of diseases. Each contestant has 2 minutes to make the correct diagnosis which wins them the antidote and £5,000. Failure to make the correct diagnosis means that the celebrity gets to appear on Channel 5's newest show:
WHAT DID I DIE OF?
Compere Angus Deayton, with the help of a Nigerian doctor already stricken off the medical register, and a celebrity panel, try to determine what the losing contestants of WHAT'S MY DISEASE? died from.
Compere Angus Deayton, with the help of a Nigerian doctor already stricken off the medical register, inject a celebrity panel with a variety of diseases. Each contestant has 2 minutes to make the correct diagnosis which wins them the antidote and £5,000. Failure to make the correct diagnosis means that the celebrity gets to appear on Channel 5's newest show:
WHAT DID I DIE OF?
Compere Angus Deayton, with the help of a Nigerian doctor already stricken off the medical register, and a celebrity panel, try to determine what the losing contestants of WHAT'S MY DISEASE? died from.
"I've been reduced to thruppence!"
- harvey k-tel
- Long Player
- Posts: 40893
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- Location: 1220 on your AM dial
- Nikki Gradual
- nasty, brutish and short
- Posts: 20751
- Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 21:59
- Location: Marineville
Billybob Dylan wrote:Out Of Africa
Loveable cockney rogue Harry Out (Arthur Mullard) goes to live in Africa with hilarious results.
Hmmm, like the idea, but lets just change his name to Peter and cast Rob Lowe instead of Mullard. Like it, like it.
"He's thrown a kettle over a pub; what have you done?"