Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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PresMuffley
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Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby PresMuffley » 08 Mar 2017, 17:22

STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!
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Minnie the Minx
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Minnie the Minx » 08 Mar 2017, 21:50

What, nobody? WELL. I suppose I'll go first.

No, I haven't refused. As a matter of fact, this month's flow has been quite astonishing. Shit, muffers, you know how it goes, right? One month light, one month torrential downpour.

Monday we kicked off. Quite unexpectedly as it goes: Clambered out of bed and the old atomic balls of blood starting hurtling towards the bathroom floor before I had even managed to squat for a piss. I put my hands on my hips and scowled.

"SRSLY?" I looked out the bathroom door where husband stood, cup of tea in one hand and phone in the other.
He gazed at the scarlet onslaught, and screwed his eyes in sweet unison with mine.
"SRSLY?" he said. "RIGHT?" I said. Sighing, I went about the business of mopping up the gloopy piles assembling round the floor. I know better than to leave them; our cats are not discerning and readily lick their mother's evacuated womb contents.

Then the question: what size sanitary protection? hum tee tum. Am I a MODERATE or a LIGHT or a der-der-der- HEAVY? Well, let's take one of each. Don't want to bleed all over the car.

Now we are on Wednesday. It's trailing off a bit, but I misfired with my calculations on the old PROTECTION front and that's a couple of pairs of knickers for the wash. Today it's all a bit claggy, like phlegm after a heavy cold. I'm hoping nothing happened on the old sheet front last night. My eco-friendly laundry soap may not have been rubbed in the eyes of spaniels, but it is all but bollock hopeless at removing bodily fluids from bedding.

By Friday, all should have disappeared.

Hope this helps!
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Belle Lettre
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Belle Lettre » 08 Mar 2017, 22:24

I'm perimenopausal. A born rebel, don't you know.
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Pat O'Banton
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Pat O'Banton » 08 Mar 2017, 22:28

PresMuffley wrote:STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!


Wow.
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Goat Boy
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Goat Boy » 08 Mar 2017, 22:39

The Twat Patrol wrote:What, nobody? WELL. I suppose I'll go first.

No, I haven't refused. As a matter of fact, this month's flow has been quite astonishing. Shit, muffers, you know how it goes, right? One month light, one month torrential downpour.

Monday we kicked off. Quite unexpectedly as it goes: Clambered out of bed and the old atomic balls of blood starting hurtling towards the bathroom floor before I had even managed to squat for a piss. I put my hands on my hips and scowled.

"SRSLY?" I looked out the bathroom door where husband stood, cup of tea in one hand and phone in the other.
He gazed at the scarlet onslaught, and screwed his eyes in sweet unison with mine.
"SRSLY?" he said. "RIGHT?" I said. Sighing, I went about the business of mopping up the gloopy piles assembling round the floor. I know better than to leave them; our cats are not discerning and readily lick their mother's evacuated womb contents.

Then the question: what size sanitary protection? hum tee tum. Am I a MODERATE or a LIGHT or a der-der-der- HEAVY? Well, let's take one of each. Don't want to bleed all over the car.

Now we are on Wednesday. It's trailing off a bit, but I misfired with my calculations on the old PROTECTION front and that's a couple of pairs of knickers for the wash. Today it's all a bit claggy, like phlegm after a heavy cold. I'm hoping nothing happened on the old sheet front last night. My eco-friendly laundry soap may not have been rubbed in the eyes of spaniels, but it is all but bollock hopeless at removing bodily fluids from bedding.

By Friday, all should have disappeared.

Hope this helps!


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Minnie the Minx
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Minnie the Minx » 09 Mar 2017, 00:01

It's fecking streaming already
KNOWORRIMEAN
You come at the Queen, you best not miss.

Dr Markus wrote:
Someone in your line of work usually as their own man cave aka the shed we're they can potter around fixing stuff or something don't they?

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Jimbo
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Jimbo » 09 Mar 2017, 00:12

When I was a little boy, because Kotex used to come boxed wrapped up like a pretty present I was jealous of my sisters' monthly gift.
I love you.

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PresMuffley
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby PresMuffley » 09 Mar 2017, 01:37

The Twat Patrol wrote:My eco-friendly laundry soap may not have been rubbed in the eyes of spaniels, but it is all but bollock hopeless at removing bodily fluids from bedding.


Brilliant. Very funny all around. You may call me 'Muffers' anytime.
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Fonz
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Fonz » 09 Mar 2017, 06:36

The Twat Patrol wrote:What, nobody? WELL. I suppose I'll go first.

No, I haven't refused. As a matter of fact, this month's flow has been quite astonishing. Shit, muffers, you know how it goes, right? One month light, one month torrential downpour.

Monday we kicked off. Quite unexpectedly as it goes: Clambered out of bed and the old atomic balls of blood starting hurtling towards the bathroom floor before I had even managed to squat for a piss. I put my hands on my hips and scowled.

"SRSLY?" I looked out the bathroom door where husband stood, cup of tea in one hand and phone in the other.
He gazed at the scarlet onslaught, and screwed his eyes in sweet unison with mine.
"SRSLY?" he said. "RIGHT?" I said. Sighing, I went about the business of mopping up the gloopy piles assembling round the floor. I know better than to leave them; our cats are not discerning and readily lick their mother's evacuated womb contents.

Then the question: what size sanitary protection? hum tee tum. Am I a MODERATE or a LIGHT or a der-der-der- HEAVY? Well, let's take one of each. Don't want to bleed all over the car.

Now we are on Wednesday. It's trailing off a bit, but I misfired with my calculations on the old PROTECTION front and that's a couple of pairs of knickers for the wash. Today it's all a bit claggy, like phlegm after a heavy cold. I'm hoping nothing happened on the old sheet front last night. My eco-friendly laundry soap may not have been rubbed in the eyes of spaniels, but it is all but bollock hopeless at removing bodily fluids from bedding.

By Friday, all should have disappeared.

Hope this helps!



I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.
Heyyyy!

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fueryIre
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby fueryIre » 09 Mar 2017, 08:23

The Twat Patrol wrote:
...scarlet....




It's always a rather fetching shade of blue in the TV commercials...
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Polishgirl
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Polishgirl » 09 Mar 2017, 09:13

Sorry to learn of Anna's menstrual woes.

I find that during my period, I am, miraculously, suddenly able to roller skate, sky dive, and DJ in front of massive outdoor raves, all whilst wearing skimpy white shorts. Monthlies are terrific!
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Phil T » 09 Mar 2017, 09:27

Polishgirl wrote:Sorry to learn of Anna's menstrual woes.

I find that during my period, I am, miraculously, suddenly able to roller skate, sky dive, and DJ in front of massive outdoor raves, all whilst wearing skimpy white shorts. Monthlies are terrific!


Do the cats pull you along when you're on the roller skates?
I know it should be a dog, but needs must, etc.

Hugh
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Hugh » 09 Mar 2017, 12:29

Fonz wrote:
I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.


Shut up and get back in the kitchen.

Phil T

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Phil T » 09 Mar 2017, 13:08

Hugh wrote:
Fonz wrote:
I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.


Shut up and get back in the kitchen.


Mine's a cuppa love, quick as you like...

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fueryIre
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby fueryIre » 09 Mar 2017, 13:09

Hugh wrote:
Fonz wrote:
I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.


Shut up and get back in the kitchen.


The cleaning's still not finished yet! And just look at the size of that pile of ironing!
Image

Phil T

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Phil T » 09 Mar 2017, 13:20

fueryIre wrote:
Hugh wrote:
Fonz wrote:
I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.


Shut up and get back in the kitchen.


The cleaning's still not finished yet! And just look at the size of that pile of ironing!


An' you 'aven't 'alf let yerself go darlin'.

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fueryIre
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby fueryIre » 09 Mar 2017, 13:39

Phil T wrote:
fueryIre wrote:
Hugh wrote:
Shut up and get back in the kitchen.


The cleaning's still not finished yet! And just look at the size of that pile of ironing!


An' you 'aven't 'alf let yerself go darlin'.


At least you got a cup of rosi-lee out of the old boiler..
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Phil T

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Phil T » 09 Mar 2017, 13:44

Cushti!

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PresMuffley
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby PresMuffley » 10 Mar 2017, 17:08

I haven't a clue what a bilateral salpingectomy is but is certainly doesn't sound fun. Going under the knife is terrifying. I hope you're feeling better.
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The Savage Young Gash
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Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby The Savage Young Gash » 10 Mar 2017, 23:14

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