why is Coldplay not the new Radiohead?

[algroth]

I reckon Coldplay and Radiohead both shared some similarities in their sound and style in their early albums, but what gives Radiohead its monstrous reputation is largely attached to how they evolved and mutated with each subsequent album, to different and often stranger and more experimental sounds, the likes of what is on Kid A or Amnesiac or the likes. Even their most accessible albums since are full of detail and hardly 'conventional' for a band of their standing in the mainstream. Coldplay at one point toyed with the notion of "expanding their sound" and whatnot with Viva la Vida, but that neither was anywhere near the vicinity of what Radiohead was up to at that point in their respective career, nor was it a trajectory that was followed upon as Mylo Xyloto saw the band transform into their most faceless, cynically mass-appealing form yet right after, and has basically stayed chasing Spotify trends ever since.

[The Modernist]

Coldplay make the most monotonous songs ever, they can't write a middle eight to save their lives. They'll have a catchy little guitar figure or piano lead, sing something over the top and then just repeat it over and over again for three minutes with almost no variation, like one long chorus. All their songs seem to be constructed like that.

I saw a horrible thing about them once that still makes me shudder. They've got this bloke, I couldn't quite work out his role, he was like their musical advisor or something, but they made a big point of saying he was given an equal share to the rest of the band. He was there, with his big, fat ruddy stupid upper class face, like fucking Prince William or someone, dressed in a rugby shirt and he had all the band in a huddle, going "okay guys, you know what we've got to, we need to feed off the positive energy.." and they were going "yeah, yeah" and hugging each other. Sickening. I mean it's meant to be an artform right, not a fucking strategy meeting. It was like a capsule representation of everything that's shit about the post-millennial world we live in. I got the impression they don't even like music, they'd rather be working in some hi-tech start up business in Shoreditch droning on about "optimisation".
Cunts.

[Deebank]

Coldplay make the most monotonous songs ever, they can't write a middle eight to save their lives. They'll have a catchy little guitar figure or piano lead, sing something over the top and then just repeat it over and over again for three minutes with almost no variation, like one long chorus. All their songs seem to be constructed like that.

I saw a horrible thing about them once that still makes me shudder. They've got this bloke, I couldn't quite work out his role, he was like their musical advisor or something, but they made a big point of saying he was given an equal share to the rest of the band. He was there, with his big, fat ruddy stupid upper class face, like fucking Prince William or someone, dressed in a rugby shirt and he had all the band in a huddle, going "okay guys, you know what we've got to, we need to feed off the positive energy.." and they were going "yeah, yeah" and hugging each other. Sickening. I mean it's meant to be an artform right, not a fucking strategy meeting. It was like a capsule representation of everything that's shit about the post-millennial world we live in. I got the impression they don't even like music, they'd rather be working in some hi-tech start up business in Shoreditch droning on about "optimisation".
Cunts.

I saw the same thing - he's their manager IIRC. He is the talentless one who takes care of the business. He went to the same school or university or whatever.

I don't know if this actually happened or not but I have this horrible 'memory' of being revolted at Glastonbury surrounded by nice middle class studenty couples all cuddling-up as they witness the awesome beigeness of Coldplay.

Shudder.

[naughty boy]

criticising them is as pointless as listening to them.

'Clocks' is a masterpiece

[The Modernist]

It really isn't.

[Deebank]

Clocks is a cute little riff, nothing more.
Admittedly, sometimes that is more than enough. In this case it is decidedly not.

[pig bodine]

I didn’t realize Coldplay was even an issue any more. American kids couldn’t care less about them or any other guitar group other than Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

[Deebank]

I didn’t realize Coldplay was even an issue any more. American kids couldn’t care less about them or any other guitar group other than Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

And Radiohead? What about Radiohead?

[Goat Boy]

It’s what happens when people with a little bit of talent but zero personality make it big. Where’s the sense of self? Where’s the sense of a life lived?

[naughty boy]

trays of cocaine on midgets' heads!

WOAAHHHH

[Goat Boy]

Fat bottomed Coans they make the rockin world go round!!

[naughty boy]

[naughty boy]

Coldplay conformity - a quick guide

'bland'
'ooh bland'
'oohh just like U2 - STADIUM ROCK' (followed by smug grin)
'music for the three-albums-a-year brigade' (the 'Deebank special')
'oh that Chris Martin? oooh he a VEGAN'
'ooh'
'Coldplay oh boring'
'oh'

[Hightea]

I saw a horrible thing about them once that still makes me shudder. They've got this bloke, I couldn't quite work out his role, he was like their musical advisor or something, but they made a big point of saying he was given an equal share to the rest of the band. He was there, with his big, fat ruddy stupid upper class face, like fucking Prince William or someone, dressed in a rugby shirt and he had all the band in a huddle, going "okay guys, you know what we've got to, we need to feed off the positive energy.." and they were going "yeah, yeah" and hugging each other. Sickening. I mean it's meant to be an artform right, not a fucking strategy meeting. It was like a capsule representation of everything that's shit about the post-millennial world we live in. I got the impression they don't even like music, they'd rather be working in some hi-tech start up business in Shoreditch droning on about "optimisation".
Cunts.

Who the F*ck gives a sh*t about Phil Harvey he was their manager and like many bands was a friend of one of the members. You got the impression they don't even like music? Here we go again if a band that isn't poor, uneducated and had a ton of hardships to write about then the band sucks.

[Hightea]

Coldplay conformity - a quick guide

'bland'
'ooh bland'
'oohh just like U2 - STADIUM ROCK' (followed by smug grin)
'music for the three-albums-a-year brigade' (the 'Deebank special')
'oh that Chris Martin? oooh he a VEGAN'
'ooh'
'Coldplay oh boring'
'oh'

[naughty boy]

'like, didn't they sell like 18 million copies of that album? like' (mock horror, sits back to allow full blast of 'vitriol' to achieve arc of projection) 'WHO THE FUCK IS BUYING THIS FUCKIN' SHIT?'

(applause from all three pals, offers to buy round)

[Hightea]

Coldplay make the most monotonous songs ever, they can't write a middle eight to save their lives. They'll have a catchy little guitar figure or piano lead, sing something over the top and then just repeat it over and over again for three minutes with almost no variation, like one long chorus. All their songs seem to be constructed like that.

this comment from a someone who likes endless repetitive dance music. Oh I guess you can dance to it so its cool.

[Hightea]

Fat bottomed Coans they make the rockin world go round!!

so your calling Coldplay prog?

[Minnie the Minx]

[The Modernist]

Coldplay make the most monotonous songs ever, they can't write a middle eight to save their lives. They'll have a catchy little guitar figure or piano lead, sing something over the top and then just repeat it over and over again for three minutes with almost no variation, like one long chorus. All their songs seem to be constructed like that.

this comment from a someone who likes endless repetitive dance music. Oh I guess you can dance to it so its cool.

Exactly. Dance music works on entirely different principles.