polyamory

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Dor-Relip Hotels and Bathings
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polyamory

Postby Dor-Relip Hotels and Bathings » 05 Nov 2018, 10:04

Did you see that Theroux thing last night? Those people are nuts.

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Re: polyamory

Postby driftin » 05 Nov 2018, 10:11

I tried to but it got uncomfortable and I switched it off. Louis Theroux is excellent at doing that and that's a good thing.

I don't condemn their actions but I don't condone them either.

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Re: polyamory

Postby The Modernist » 05 Nov 2018, 10:14

I watched a bit of it, not the whole thing. It seemed quite obvious to me that the bald headed guy with the beard seemed much more in love with one wife than the other. I couldn't understand why he didn't just have the relationship with the wife he loved, especially as the other wife pretty much said they didn't have much in common and she didn't enjoy the physical side of things either. What was the point of them staying together?

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Re: polyamory

Postby Dor-Relip Hotels and Bathings » 05 Nov 2018, 10:23

driftin wrote:I tried to but it got uncomfortable and I switched it off. Louis Theroux is excellent at doing that...


He's great, isn't he? asking the right questions, ever so politely, and then giving them SO much time to answer.

I find myself laughing sometimes - he could be in the middle of the wildest, most fucked-up scene and he'd just say 'would you say this is normal for you?'


The Modernist wrote:I watched a bit of it, not the whole thing. It seemed quite obvious to me that the bald headed guy with the beard seemed much more in love with one wife than the other. I couldn't understand why he didn't just have the relationship with the wife he loved, especially as the other wife pretty much said they didn't have much in common and she didn't enjoy the physical side of things either. What was the point of them staying together?


She did say they were having difficulties.
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Re: polyamory

Postby Goat Boy » 05 Nov 2018, 10:41

If it works for some it works but I feel it's something that many people do against their better instincts and that the actual reality is not as satisfying as they want. It’s like a pose.
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Re: polyamory

Postby Deebank » 05 Nov 2018, 10:47

I was always more of an In The Night Garden fan myself.
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Re: polyamory

Postby Toby » 05 Nov 2018, 10:54

There are age old reasons why we generally have monogamous relationships and there will always be people who want their cake and eat it too.

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Re: polyamory

Postby Dor-Relip Hotels and Bathings » 05 Nov 2018, 10:55

Toby wrote:There are age old reasons why we generally have monogamous relationships and there will always be people who want their cake and eat it too.


Yeah, it sounds like there's always someone who gets hurt - no matter how much they dress it up as being 'healthy'.

Having said that, there are cultures where this kind of behaviour is perfectly normal AS YOU WELL KNOW
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Re: polyamory

Postby Goat Boy » 05 Nov 2018, 10:57

Jolly ups?
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Re: polyamor

Postby Toby » 05 Nov 2018, 11:06

RELD-LOMAX inc. wrote:
Toby wrote:There are age old reasons why we generally have monogamous relationships and there will always be people who want their cake and eat it too.


Yeah, it sounds like there's always someone who gets hurt - no matter how much they dress it up as being 'healthy'.

Having said that, there are cultures where this kind of behaviour is perfectly normal AS YOU WELL KNOW


Not many of those about though are there and none in the western sphere as we know it.

Individual instances will always occur, but in the main I think it’s unwise, particularly for any offspring involved.

It very rarely ends well and just strikes me as people getting bored.

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Re: polyamor

Postby Deebank » 05 Nov 2018, 11:16

Toby wrote:
Not many of those about though are there and none in the western sphere as we know it.
.


Not true, there are still bits of LDS (various Mormon and other religious sects) that have polygamy and there are probably thousands that practice it outside of religion - one way or another.

I suppose it depends on how 'formal' the relationships are. You probably know many people who have more than one partner after all.
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Re: polyamory

Postby Dor-Relip Hotels and Bathings » 05 Nov 2018, 11:17

Goat Boy wrote:Jolly ups?


:)
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Re: polyamory

Postby Tom Waits For No One » 05 Nov 2018, 12:35

It’s changed a lot since I used to watch it with the kids.

Fewer colourful jumpers for a start and no Scottish accents.

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Re: polyamory

Postby Deebank » 05 Nov 2018, 13:44

Tom Waits For No One wrote:It’s changed a lot since I used to watch it with the kids.

Fewer colourful jumpers for a start and no Scottish accents.

Image


Oi!
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Re: polyamor

Postby Your Friendly Neighbourhood Postman » 05 Nov 2018, 14:23

Toby wrote:
RELD-LOMAX inc. wrote:
Toby wrote:There are age old reasons why we generally have monogamous relationships and there will always be people who want their cake and eat it too.


Yeah, it sounds like there's always someone who gets hurt - no matter how much they dress it up as being 'healthy'.

Having said that, there are cultures where this kind of behaviour is perfectly normal AS YOU WELL KNOW


Not many of those about though are there and none in the western sphere as we know it.

Individual instances will always occur, but in the main I think it’s unwise, particularly for any offspring involved.

It very rarely ends well and just strikes me as people getting bored.


Wise words.

Got this piccie from a Dutch university magazine (their official one); it is a themed issue named: "Happiness: We Make That Ourselves, Don't We?". The article with the photo is about polyamory.

Image

Actually, that whole issue is downright depressing. It features nothing but fluffy, feather-light non-stories about student life, (sex) robots, enhancing your life (and studying itself) with drugs, and it devotes 1 and a half page on three students with a severe burn-out (all female, don't know if that means something).

That's what you get from a corporatized modern university, I guess.

PS: I find that photo quite depressing too.
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Re: polyamor

Postby Bent Fabric » 06 Nov 2018, 23:28

Toby wrote:
RELD-LOMAX inc. wrote:
Toby wrote:There are age old reasons why we generally have monogamous relationships and there will always be people who want their cake and eat it too.


Yeah, it sounds like there's always someone who gets hurt - no matter how much they dress it up as being 'healthy'.

Having said that, there are cultures where this kind of behaviour is perfectly normal AS YOU WELL KNOW


Not many of those about though are there and none in the western sphere as we know it.

Individual instances will always occur, but in the main I think it’s unwise, particularly for any offspring involved.

It very rarely ends well and just strikes me as people getting bored.


With the relevant disclaimer that I'm almost entirely speaking from ignorance here, every little bit of firsthand testimony that I've personally gotten is that it's a fucking landmine. Comments about "Well...I think you'd probably rather be 'the guest'." and multiple scenarios where this type of experimentation has reliably been the last act in a relationship.

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Re: polyamory

Postby sloopjohnc » 06 Nov 2018, 23:30

I think Mike Myers' brother wrote a book on polyamory after the one he wrote on Todd Rundgren.
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Re: polyamory

Postby Bent Fabric » 06 Nov 2018, 23:32

ALSO titled Can We Still Be Friends

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Re: polyamor

Postby yomptepi » 07 Nov 2018, 10:08

Bent Fabric wrote:
With the relevant disclaimer that I'm almost entirely speaking from ignorance here, every little bit of firsthand testimony that I've personally gotten is that it's a fucking landmine. Comments about "Well...I think you'd probably rather be 'the guest'." and multiple scenarios where this type of experimentation has reliably been the last act in a relationship.


One of my groups of friends got into all this stuff about 30 years ago. We would go to a party , and have to leave before midnight, when the weird stuff started happening. I never understood it, and none of the relationships within group survived, despite being told that it was the healthiest thing the world and no one was going to get hurt. How can you not hurt someone when you chose to go with some one else?
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Re: polyamor

Postby Toby » 07 Nov 2018, 10:14

Deebank wrote:
Toby wrote:
Not many of those about though are there and none in the western sphere as we know it.
.


Not true, there are still bits of LDS (various Mormon and other religious sects) that have polygamy and there are probably thousands that practice it outside of religion - one way or another.

I suppose it depends on how 'formal' the relationships are. You probably know many people who have more than one partner after all.


In the context of the entire western world, I suspect it's about 0.000001% of the population or even less.