The Thread About Depression (Serious)

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Minnie the Minx
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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Minnie the Minx » 11 Sep 2016, 22:42

How's everyone getting on?
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Dr Markus wrote:
Someone in your line of work usually as their own man cave aka the shed we're they can potter around fixing stuff or something don't they?

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Charlie O. » 11 Sep 2016, 22:43

Maintaining here, thanks.
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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Minnie the Minx » 11 Sep 2016, 23:02

:)
You come at the Queen, you best not miss.

Dr Markus wrote:
Someone in your line of work usually as their own man cave aka the shed we're they can potter around fixing stuff or something don't they?

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Nikki Gradual » 13 Sep 2016, 21:26

Minnie HA HA wrote:How's everyone getting on?


Oddly, the best and worst for years. High highs and low lows with worryingly little gap between them. And very little triggering each. Been here before. Need to be careful. The next month is crucial.
"He's thrown a kettle over a pub; what have you done?"

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Minnie the Minx » 13 Sep 2016, 21:27

Hey love! I'm keeping everything crossed for you.
You come at the Queen, you best not miss.

Dr Markus wrote:
Someone in your line of work usually as their own man cave aka the shed we're they can potter around fixing stuff or something don't they?

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Nikki Gradual » 13 Sep 2016, 22:00

Minnie HA HA wrote:Hey love! I'm keeping everything crossed for you.


Oh don't worry, I'll be fine. For no reason that I can explain I am curiously self-aware about this shit and have been sort of self-regulating for decades. I let it simmer a bit too much sometimes, but it has never properly boiled over. I have my methods of coping/releasing. And this is one of them. So far so good.
"He's thrown a kettle over a pub; what have you done?"

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Dr Markus » 22 Sep 2016, 14:58

Gone a week without my meds. I notice a sudden difference in temperament but holding my own. Still feel better if pay week was this week and I could get some.
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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby the masked man » 20 Dec 2017, 16:52

I had a wobble recently, falling into a period of despair as I thought I was about to become unemployed again. This time I reached out for help and found a session of telephone counselling did a world of good. As it turned out, I later found that I would be moving to a new job in the new year. I still feel sad that I'm leaving my old team, but hopeful I'll succeed in the new role.

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Minnie the Minx » 22 Dec 2017, 16:05

Glad to hear that you made a positive step early on Andrew. I hope all goes well for you x
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Dr Markus wrote:
Someone in your line of work usually as their own man cave aka the shed we're they can potter around fixing stuff or something don't they?

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby the masked man » 18 Jan 2018, 21:08

I had another anxiety attack today, and ended up back at the doctor's. At least this time I seem to have a diagnosis that I can believe in. I have really low self-esteem at the moment, and spend all my time constructing a narrative whereby I am worthless and don't deserve anything good to happen. I ignore or explain away anything that might contradict this. The doc recommended CBT and has issued a referral.

The thing is that I know what I'm doing but it's so hard to break the cycle.

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby never/ever » 19 Jan 2018, 06:25

Blimey Andy, that is something.
For what it's worth, you are not worthless- but I guess that that is not the point.
I was happy to hear how you were assailing new shores and looked forward to a new future. I hope it gives you the keys to unlock that nasty padlock on your soul and free yourself.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?."

George Carlin

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Charlie O. » 19 Jan 2018, 06:52

the masked man wrote:The thing is that I know what I'm doing but it's so hard to break the cycle.

It is. But knowing is key. Keep reminding yourself, and good luck.
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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby the masked man » 19 Jan 2018, 10:22

Thanks, that means a lot. The doc also said that I sounded like a nice guy with good interests. Knowing I like films, he drew an analogy with how the movie Cinema Paradiso works. The scene where the Italian kid is excitedly looking at film reels is carefully directed; the music swells gently, there's lots of light in the shot and we're invited to feel a nostalgic glow, so he's creating a certain worldview for us to share. By contrast, the personal film I'm directing accentuates all the negative messages I tell myself and regards triumphs (which exist - I even received an award at work last year for something I did) as irrelevant.

As you say, understanding this is an important step. I now have something to cling to, and build on.

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Dr Markus » 19 Jan 2018, 14:05

Breaking the cycle is tough. For me, It's weird that you know what you're doing isn't positive while you're doing it. You keep doing it while having a dialogue in your brain that "Yeah Mark, this isn't gonna make you feel any better". It's a strange feeling.
Drama Queenie wrote:You are a chauvinist of the quaintest kind. About as threatening as Jack Duckworth, you are a harmless relic of that cherished era when things were 'different'. Now get back to drawing a moustache on that page three model

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby martha » 19 Jan 2018, 21:10

Jesus! Anxiety is a bitch. I've been struggling for a couple of weeks with it largely over work not being able to make payroll and bills looming out of control for healthcare. It's awful. Been getting no sleep at night crashing during the day and generally feeling like crap with blood pressure spiking.

I've had to stop physical therapy due to inability to pay for anything anymore with no financial wiggle room completely stripping my ability to do fuck all for my health or pain. It's shitty. The gray winter thing doesn't help much either, and the light at the end of the tunnel is perpetually an oncoming train.

And now my dad is having health issues. Kidney failure. I have to make decisions about where he'll live and how and figure out his financial shit. And I have a hard time dealing with dad for historical reasons from childhood -- he was an abusive person. So yeah, sometimes It's hard to make a happy movie in my head although I fully get that I am the author of my story and in charge of the interpretation.

When you guys struggle with that -- man do I hear ya. I love you both. Hang in there.

When I am down in it I always think of this song and it makes me laugh.

Because, all things considered, I really can't complain.

--m.

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby Dr Markus » 22 Jan 2018, 14:40

martha wrote:
Because, all things considered, I really can't complain.


Yeah, that pretty much what my counselor got me to come around to as well.
Drama Queenie wrote:You are a chauvinist of the quaintest kind. About as threatening as Jack Duckworth, you are a harmless relic of that cherished era when things were 'different'. Now get back to drawing a moustache on that page three model

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Re: The Thread About Depression (Serious)

Postby never/ever » 18 May 2018, 10:57

Always good to hear celebrities open up about their feelings- showing you are not alone.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p066vzlz

I'll also put this clip here (sorry for the poor quality)- this is from a program called Ahn's Brush With Fame, a very interesting interview series hosted by actor/comedian Anh Do who paints celebrities while he talks with them. This particular program, featuring Blue Wiggle Anthony Field deals with this popular children's entertainer battle with depression- from 16:00 onward but the whole show is really good. I really got a good grasp what he tells about being mentally ill and getting close to being suicidal.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?."

George Carlin