Pitch a rubbish tv idea

Backslapping time. Well done us. We are fantastic.
The Modernist

Postby The Modernist » 27 Oct 2006, 00:01

Wino Watch

Each our special hidden infra-red cameras will observe a group of alcoholics in their natural habitat beneath a flyover in Wolverhampton. Watch their strange mating rituals and their intrepid hunting trips for their prey, Diamond White.
Desmond Morris and Bill Oddie will give a running commentary which is sure to bring insight into the lives of these fascinating creatures.

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The Prof
Composing a revolutionary symphony
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Postby The Prof » 27 Oct 2006, 00:05

Wino Watch 2

Each week our special hidden infra-red cameras will observe a group of alcoholics in their natural habitat: The Kings Arms, Roupell Street, London.....

Bungo the Mungo

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 27 Oct 2006, 00:06

DOG'S ROCKS

Follow Anneka Rice, Cliff Richards (nee Cliff Richard), Tom O'Connor and Bobby Davro as they chase dangerous dogs around Britain's shopping arcades and try to tickle their knackers and get away with it.

The Modernist

Postby The Modernist » 27 Oct 2006, 00:19

THE WORKING CLASS

A heartwarming biopic of comedian and soap star Mike Reid (Morgan Freeman in his first role for British television) which traces his life as we watch him escape his horrible working class origins and get a job on tv.

Bungo the Mungo

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 27 Oct 2006, 00:23

LIFT IT UP YOU TART

We follow giggling trio June Whitfield, Ronnie Corbett, and that posh fella who shagged 'Lady' Di around Britain's bingo halls trying to get old lasses to lift up their skirts for a free number.

With Brian May as compere.

Bungo the Mungo

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 27 Oct 2006, 00:27

GAY NEWS OF 1972

Peter Whitmore and Robert Kendall read the news from 1972 dressed as queers.

Bungo the Mungo

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 27 Oct 2006, 00:31

I COULD DO WITH A D

We take desperate silly bitch Nicole Richie and despicable and pointless cunt Peter Mandelsson out for an enormous meal and then lock all the toilets within a 20-mile radius. Close-up cameras reveal the agony we can all joyfully share in.

Bungo the Mungo

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 27 Oct 2006, 00:39

DID YOU FRY MY MOBILE PHONE?

We follow Nottingham residents Jim Arab, Ena 'Float' Catheter, Bobby Runt, and Catherine Blackstone around all the chippies in their area in the hope of finding one of their mobile phones that may somehow have managed to end up in one of the fryers.

The Modernist

Postby The Modernist » 27 Oct 2006, 00:43

Honza wrote:GAY NEWS OF 1972

Peter Whitmore and Robert Kendall read the news from 1972 dressed as queers.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

The Modernist

Postby The Modernist » 27 Oct 2006, 00:49

IS YOUR NAME RONALD?

Presenter John Fashanu goes around the shopping centres of Great Britain to ask members of the general public the question "Is Your Name Ronald?". If they answer in the affirmative, and can prove this with a valid passport or driving licence, they win a dream holiday. A gripping quiz for all the family.

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PENK
Midnight to Six Man
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Postby PENK » 27 Oct 2006, 01:02

What Not To Wear: Celebrity Special

TV 'personality' Russell Brand and crack whore Kate Moss present this special celebrity edition of the popular smugfest made famous by those two women whose dress sense was so good they always made sure to wear clothes that ensured you could tell which was the fat one and which one was the one that looked like a man.
In this first edition, Russell helps out hip-hop legend Flavor Flav, a man whose wardrobe consists entirely of luminescent boiler suits and massive fuck-off clocks. Flavor is initially uncertain when Russell tries to make him wear a scarf in the middle of summer but eventually relents, admitting that he'll do anything to make the honky fuckhead shut up.
Meanwhile Kate tackles pop diva Christina Aguilera, famed for her unusual dress sense. This meeting makes for fascinating viewing as the two stars set a new record for the most gritted teeth and bitchiest compliments ever seen on camera. Eventually Kate backs down, realising that it is at least ten minutes since she last took some drugs and nearly half an hour since she conducted a newspaper interview about her drug hell. Christina gets on with her life.
Next week, some fat guy in a Metallica t-shirt gets told to have a bath by the fat one in the loose-fitting dress and the thin one in the dress which also happens to be far too loose.
Copehead wrote:I have met Gruff Rhys - although he claimed he wasn't and that he couldn't speak Welsh, as I spoke to him in Welsh, but it was him lying bastard.

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The Prof
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Postby The Prof » 27 Oct 2006, 10:15

ARE YOU MY MUMMY?

Top celebrities Anne Widdecombe, Gerry (Ginger Spice Girl) Halliwell and Joe Pasquale race around Somalia in a sea king helicopter in an attempt to adopt an orphan against the clock.
Failure to do so will result in Neil & Christine Hamilton being lowered into a gunk-tank. Great fun for all the family.
Presented by Dave Lee Travis.

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JQW
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Postby JQW » 27 Oct 2006, 10:27

I did this one elsewhere:

HADDAWAY & SCHEIDT

German 1990s house musician Haddaway builds a time machine and travels back 400 years. There he teams up with up-and-coming baroque composer Samuel Scheidt and together they form a musical duo. Decamping to present day Newcastle-Upon-Tyne they play the working men's clubs on weekends whilst fighting crime during the week. Soundtrack features both Jimmy Nail and Sting singing and playing Scheidt.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

Phil T

Postby Phil T » 27 Oct 2006, 10:33

What Not To Shit:

Combines two of Britains most popular reality tv shows. Trinny & Susannah tells fat insecure 40 something single mums which are the fashionable clothes to eat, whilst irritating ginger Scots lass Dr, Gillian McKeith hangs around witha Tupperware box for 24 hours and looks at their jobbies to determine what is undigested: "ooh luke, I can see a wee button...and half of a zipper..." and advises accordingly. "ya want tae get more cotton and hemp inta ya diet, hen..."
Last edited by Phil T on 27 Oct 2006, 10:35, edited 1 time in total.

Phil T

Postby Phil T » 27 Oct 2006, 10:34

JQW wrote:I did this one elsewhere:

HADDAWAY & SCHEIDT

German 1990s house musician Haddaway builds a time machine and travels back 400 years. There he teams up with up-and-coming baroque composer Samuel Scheidt and together they form a musical duo. Decamping to present day Newcastle-Upon-Tyne they play the working men's clubs on weekends whilst fighting crime during the week. Soundtrack features both Jimmy Nail and Sting singing and playing Scheidt.


:lol: :lol: Hasn't that been done already and it was called "Crocodile Shoes"?

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Deebank
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Postby Deebank » 27 Oct 2006, 11:27

A rubbish tv idea, yes, but good if your roof is leaking...



















Has anybody done that 'joke' already, I really can't be bothered looking?
Paid anghofio fod dy galon yn y chwyldro

Bungo the Mungo

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 27 Oct 2006, 14:39

ONE OF YOUR BEASTS ATE MY IPOD

Charles Dance and Jane Seymour invite members of the public to hassle zoo attendants and request that they examine all animal faeces thoroughly to see if an iPod can be found that one of the beasts may possibly have eaten should they have happened to have temporarily escaped at some time in the recent past.

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Billybob Dylan
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Postby Billybob Dylan » 27 Oct 2006, 17:53

WHAT'S MY DISEASE?
Compere Angus Deayton, with the help of a Nigerian doctor already stricken off the medical register, inject a celebrity panel with a variety of diseases. Each contestant has 2 minutes to make the correct diagnosis which wins them the antidote and £5,000. Failure to make the correct diagnosis means that the celebrity gets to appear on Channel 5's newest show:

WHAT DID I DIE OF?
Compere Angus Deayton, with the help of a Nigerian doctor already stricken off the medical register, and a celebrity panel, try to determine what the losing contestants of WHAT'S MY DISEASE? died from.
"I've been reduced to thruppence!"

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Harvey K-Tel
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Postby Harvey K-Tel » 27 Oct 2006, 17:56

LIGHT GOES ON, LIGHT GOES OFF

Host Alan Thicke turns a table lamp on and off for a half hour.
If you've got nothing to do, don't do it here.

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Nikki Gradual
nasty, brutish and short
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Postby Nikki Gradual » 27 Oct 2006, 18:01

Billybob Dylan wrote:Out Of Africa
Loveable cockney rogue Harry Out (Arthur Mullard) goes to live in Africa with hilarious results.


Hmmm, like the idea, but lets just change his name to Peter and cast Rob Lowe instead of Mullard. Like it, like it.
He's thrown a kettle over a pub; what have you done?"