Pitch a rubbish tv idea

Backslapping time. Well done us. We are fantastic.
Johnny Fartpants

Postby Johnny Fartpants » 28 Jul 2006, 12:47

The Chimpsons

Satirical cartoon series about a family of yellow chimpanzees and the zany antics they get up to in their home town of Springfield.

Johnny Fartpants

Postby Johnny Fartpants » 28 Jul 2006, 12:49

Constipation Street

Soap opera based in a Manchester terraced street, where every single occupant hasn't had a shit for 3 weeks. With hilarious consequences.

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Tapiocahead
Posts: 6981
Joined: 15 Jul 2005, 22:41
Location: quite literally in your face

Postby Tapiocahead » 28 Jul 2006, 13:01

Burts of a Feather

Burt (Burt Reynolds) lives in a council flat, while his brother Bert (Bert Trautmann) lives in a luxurious house on a private estate.

The two men lead very different lives until their wives are sent to prison for armed robbery. Burt moves in with Bert to keep him company and to help pay the bills.

They quickly become close friends with their neighbour Bert (Bert from Bert and Ernie), whose chief interest in life is chasing after much younger women[/b]
Fishstick selling fuck

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Tapiocahead
Posts: 6981
Joined: 15 Jul 2005, 22:41
Location: quite literally in your face

Postby Tapiocahead » 28 Jul 2006, 13:03

BOYZ'N'THE GOOD LIFE

John Singleton's portrayal of social problems in inner-city Los Angeles takes the form of a tale of three friends growing up together 'in the 'hood.' Half-brothers Doughboy and Ricky Baker are foils for each other's personality, presenting very different approaches to the tough lives they face. Ricky is the 'All-American' athlete, looking to win a football scholarship to USC and seeks salvation through sports, while 'Dough' succumbs to the violence, alcohol, and crime surrounding him in his environment, but maintains a strong sense of pride and code of honor. Between these two is their friend Tre, who is lucky to have a father, 'Furious' Styles, to teach him to have the strength of character to do what is right and to always take responsibility for his actions.

On his 40th birthday, 'Furious' Styles gives up his well-paid job as a draughtsman in an engineering company. He is no longer able to take seriously his assignment to design plastic toys for insertion into breakfast cereal packets. He and his wife Barbara make a decision to live a sustainable and self-sufficient lifestyle while staying in their beloved home in compton. They dig up their front and back gardens and convert them into allotments, growing fruit and vegetables. They introduce chickens,pigs, a goat called mo'fucker and a cockerel called 'Ho. They generate their own electricity using Gin'n'Juice. Later they even attempt to make their own clothes. They also work at selling surplus crops for essentials which they cannot make themselves. They try to cut their monetary requirements to the minimum with varying success.
Their actions horrify their kindly but conventional next-door neighbours, Snoop and Dr Dre Leadbetter.
Fishstick selling fuck

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The Fish
Beer Battered
Posts: 13063
Joined: 24 Oct 2003, 20:04
Location: Sunny?Worthing

Postby The Fish » 28 Jul 2006, 13:05

The Prof wrote:Gail Porter's Treasure Maze

Boffins Steven Hawkins & Richard Dawkins are reduced to miniature size and injected into the bloodstream of revolting media-slut Jordan. Once inside they undertake a series of cryptic puzzles to lead them to a helicopter which will fly them both out of her left ear and to safety.


You been at the mushrooms again John ?
We're way past rhubarb

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Brother Spoon
Billy Crystal
Posts: 9846
Joined: 17 Jul 2003, 08:02
Location: at Yankee Stadium

Postby Brother Spoon » 28 Jul 2006, 13:07

Celebrity Medical Experiments

Fading celebrities try out new and dangerous medication, and operate on each other. With hilarious results.

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The Prof
Trading coffee in Abyssinia
Posts: 46392
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 18:32
Location: A Metropolis of Discontent

Postby The Prof » 28 Jul 2006, 13:22

I Love Trench Warfare

Peter Kay, Michaela Strachan, Andi Peters, Boy George, Dale Winton and Lisa Tarbuck are among the top celebrities remembering those battles from yesteryear. With footage and music from the time. Presented by Limahl from Kadgagoogoo

Sea Of Tunes

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 28 Jul 2006, 13:47

Lad's Army

A controversial new series about the Home Guard, about THE taboo topic that dare not speak its name: homosexuality in the Army. Actors Andy Griff and Boy George take us through an often mesmerizing, often cringe-inducing, and often hilarious series of situations where being a rear gunner or digging a hole can be double entendre enough to make one ache for a fag.

Bungo the Mungo

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 28 Jul 2006, 13:52

The Crossword Pig

Tune in again at 8 pm tonight to see if Wilf the pig can complete today's crossword!

Presented by Bobby Davro. With special effects by Jim Bowen and Floella Benjamin and special music group from France guest Le Arse Lemon, playing 'Route de Compris de l'Escalier'.

Phil T

Postby Phil T » 28 Jul 2006, 14:58

Dr Gillian McKeith wrote:
Sutekh wrote:I Want To Look At Your Poo

Lifestyle show, a spin-off from You Are What You Eat, insane ginger celtic harpy, Dr Gillian McKeith, travels the world looking at examples of poo in other cultures. In the first program she travels to Ireland to examine the effects of a potato and Guiness diet on hapless members of the Irish public. Next week: Libya.

Coming at Christmas, straight after the Queen's Speech, a celebrity festive edition, Xmas Celebrity Poo, where Catherine Zeta Jones, Kofi Annan, Phil Collins, Alan Sugar, Keith Allen, Martin Jarvis and that irritating squeaky-voiced lass from Two Pints Of Lager... poke through and discuss each others poo. Your MC for this special, will be, of course, the lovely Dr. McKeith...


Are you tryinyg to put a hard working Holistic dietician on the dole Nursey??

Where did you get the plans for ma new show???


:wink:

And I'm not a Nursey!

Sea Of Tunes

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 28 Jul 2006, 15:08

Sutekh wrote:
Dr Gillian McKeith wrote:
Sutekh wrote:I Want To Look At Your Poo

Lifestyle show, a spin-off from You Are What You Eat, insane ginger celtic harpy, Dr Gillian McKeith, travels the world looking at examples of poo in other cultures. In the first program she travels to Ireland to examine the effects of a potato and Guiness diet on hapless members of the Irish public. Next week: Libya.

Coming at Christmas, straight after the Queen's Speech, a celebrity festive edition, Xmas Celebrity Poo, where Catherine Zeta Jones, Kofi Annan, Phil Collins, Alan Sugar, Keith Allen, Martin Jarvis and that irritating squeaky-voiced lass from Two Pints Of Lager... poke through and discuss each others poo. Your MC for this special, will be, of course, the lovely Dr. McKeith...


Are you tryinyg to put a hard working Holistic dietician on the dole Nursey??

Where did you get the plans for ma new show???


:wink:

And I'm not a Nursey!


Right-o! He's known as 'The Rhythm Pisser' in the whole hospital.

Johnny Fartpants

Postby Johnny Fartpants » 28 Jul 2006, 15:13

Animal Magic

Camels, Lions and Wombats doing card tricks and pulling Paul Daniels out of a top hat. With hilarious consequences.

Sea Of Tunes

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 28 Jul 2006, 15:17

Top Of The Pops

Afghan experts show us how, with fine cutlery, the top of the poppy is sliced and how from a lot of these tiny caps a superbly pure grade-A heroin is cooked up.
Junkies from various European capitals form an expert taster panel and tell us how delighted they are.
Mandatory viewing.

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KeithPratt
Arsehole all Erect
Posts: 23901
Joined: 28 Jul 2003, 23:13
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Postby KeithPratt » 28 Jul 2006, 15:31

Top Gear


Jeremy Clarkson and Bez get loaded on high-grade narcotics and drive very fast cars on them.


The Gnus at Ten

A herd of Wildebeest sidle around the Serengeti with the news stapled to them. They're then rounded up at the end.

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Billybob Dylan
Bonehead
Posts: 31807
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 18:51
Location: in front of the telly

Postby Billybob Dylan » 28 Jul 2006, 15:53

The Dukes Of Hazzard
Loveable cockney rogues Harry Duke (Arthur Mullard) & Doreen Duke (Barbara Windsor) inherit the sleepy Yorkshire village of Hazzard with hilarious results.
"I've been reduced to thruppence!"

Sea Of Tunes

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 28 Jul 2006, 16:04

An Englishman Abroad

Loveable British Hi-Fi sales rep Billybob Dylan (Elvis Costello) inherits the Mojave Desert in the sleepy U.S. of A., with hilarious results.

Johnny Fartpants

Postby Johnny Fartpants » 28 Jul 2006, 16:13

A Touch Of Prost

Former French racing car driver Alain Prost turns maverick detective as he cleans up crime in Cleckheaton in a Renault F1 car, in this not very gripping new TV Cop show. With predictable consequences.

Johnny Fartpants

Postby Johnny Fartpants » 28 Jul 2006, 16:16

Sweaty Wainthropp Investigates

That fat bird who plays Hyacinth Bucket sweats a lot, as she solves crime in Death Valley, California.

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KeithPratt
Arsehole all Erect
Posts: 23901
Joined: 28 Jul 2003, 23:13
Contact:

Postby KeithPratt » 28 Jul 2006, 16:22

Whore Eyes On

Noel Edmonds hosts this new family game show where he invites blind prostitutes to locate and correctly identify their prosthetic eyes in his TV studio. Ian Wright and Wayne Sleep guest.

Sea Of Tunes

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 28 Jul 2006, 16:28

THE LOST WEEKEND

In this gripping drama we are witness to the trials and tribulations of kebab addict John Fartpants (Paul Merton). Fartpants is at one point in a rehab clinic and undergoes withdrawal, during which he suddenly sees a hole in the wall through which some celery suddenly creeps in.
Another touching scene is the one in which he chats with the owner of his local kebab cafeteria, and explains to the man how kebab makes him 'see the mosks and bridges of Istanbul, and all the harems in the Middle East'.
Finally, we see how, just as he's about to hurt himself after having chomped away his 57th kebab of the day, love triumphs. His understanding homo boyfriend, Bertie Fish (Eddie Izzard), looks him into the eyes and revives John's self-esteem.
John's proud answer: 'From now on, darling, it'll only be beer!'
Classic stuff.


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