Pitch a rubbish tv idea

Backslapping time. Well done us. We are fantastic.
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harvey k-tel
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Postby harvey k-tel » 27 Oct 2006, 18:07

Honza wrote:DOG'S ROCKS

Follow Anneka Rice, Cliff Richards (nee Cliff Richard), Tom O'Connor and Bobby Davro as they chase dangerous dogs around Britain's shopping arcades and try to tickle their knackers and get away with it.


Honza wrote:ONE OF YOUR BEASTS ATE MY IPOD

Charles Dance and Jane Seymour invite members of the public to hassle zoo attendants and request that they examine all animal faeces thoroughly to see if an iPod can be found that one of the beasts may possibly have eaten should they have happened to have temporarily escaped at some time in the recent past.


Honza wrote:DID YOU FRY MY MOBILE PHONE?

We follow Nottingham residents Jim Arab, Ena 'Float' Catheter, Bobby Runt, and Catherine Blackstone around all the chippies in their area in the hope of finding one of their mobile phones that may somehow have managed to end up in one of the fryers.


Honza wrote:I COULD DO WITH A D

We take desperate silly bitch Nicole Richie and despicable and pointless cunt Peter Mandelsson out for an enormous meal and then lock all the toilets within a 20-mile radius. Close-up cameras reveal the agony we can all joyfully share in.


Honza wrote:GAY NEWS OF 1972

Peter Whitmore and Robert Kendall read the news from 1972 dressed as queers.


Honza wrote:LIFT IT UP YOU TART

We follow giggling trio June Whitfield, Ronnie Corbett, and that posh fella who shagged 'Lady' Di around Britain's bingo halls trying to get old lasses to lift up their skirts for a free number.

With Brian May as compere.


The problem is that these are not rubbish tv show ideas. Get with it, Coan.
If you've got nothing to do, don't do it here.

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Teabag
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Postby Teabag » 27 Oct 2006, 18:12

Harvey K-Tel wrote:LIGHT GOES ON, LIGHT GOES OFF

Host Alan Thicke turns a table lamp on and off for a half hour.


And doesn't your film clip just sum up the Blair/Bush situation in Iraq.

Try to look hard/run fast.

Useless white trash, the both of 'em.
I could be wrong. I usually am.

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harvey k-tel
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Postby harvey k-tel » 27 Oct 2006, 18:54

Teabag wrote:
Harvey K-Tel wrote:LIGHT GOES ON, LIGHT GOES OFF

Host Alan Thicke turns a table lamp on and off for a half hour.


And doesn't your film clip just sum up the Blair/Bush situation in Iraq.

Try to look hard/run fast.

Useless white trash, the both of 'em.


IRAQ: BLACK CHICKEN OF THE WORLD
If you've got nothing to do, don't do it here.

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bobzilla77
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Postby bobzilla77 » 27 Oct 2006, 20:48

DURST IN, DURST OUT

Rock star and record-label executive Fred Durst is installed in a top-level management position in a variety of businesses (car wash, plastic mold manufacturing, Jamba Juice, urgent care clinic). He is assigned to identify wasteful processes and recommend strategies to maximize efficiency and cut costs. Every week we see him screw up a different company and alienate an entirely new staff. Each episode ends with the enraged workers acting out the song "Break Some Shit".

LIMP-ASS

Rock star and record-label executive Fred Durst is initiated into the cast of Jackass. Every week, the previous cast members have to come up with a half hour of new ways to torture Fred for laughs. Basically like regular Jackass except Durst is the only one who gets hurt. In the pilot episode, Durst's entire body is encased in rubber & the cast uses him as a human basketball; Durst recreates the Snake River Canyon jump on a Moped launched by a big rubber band; Durst is given sedatives, dressed in a zebra outfit, and dropped into a locked room with 12 angry rhinos; Durst's hospital bed is set on fire.

CRIP-BIZKIT


Rock star and record-label executive Fred Durst is put in blackface and sent to live in South Central LA in an attempt to join the Crips. However, the gang is tipped off and puts Durst through a series of funny "initiation" routines. In the pilot episode, they assign him to write and perform a rap about their crew, after which they beat his ass long. Next week: The Gauntlet.

THE NOSE KNOWS
Jennifer Aniston stars as a mute who can only communicate by wrinkling her nose. In the pilot espide, rock star and record-label executive Fred Durst plays her boss. Aniston is instructed to deliver a complex, detailed message which of course he badly misinterprets and hilarity ensues.

INTRUDER

Peter Gabriel stars as a deformed homicide detective who is also a cat-burglar. (The deformity causes the skin on face to appear to be melting.) Every week he investigates murder scenes by breaking into the suspects' houses, searching for clues, pocketing loose cash and jewels. Rock star and record-label executive Fred Durst does a guest turn as his fence and informant, nicknamed "Cheeseball."


THE JACKSONS

The Osbournes, but with Michael Jackson and his little entourage. Say no more.
Jimbo wrote:I guess I am over Graham Nash's politics. Hopelessly naive by the standards I've molded for myself these days.

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Neil Jung
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Postby Neil Jung » 28 Oct 2006, 12:05

The Prof wrote:well bumped - this is a great thread.


It must go to Classic Threads.

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Sea Of Tunes
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Postby Sea Of Tunes » 28 Oct 2006, 12:23

Neil Jung wrote:
The Prof wrote:well bumped - this is a great thread.


It must go to Classic Threads.


Seconded. It is dead funny.
Meanwhile, I thought up Eggfest, in which contestants have to eat as many hardboiled eggs as they can, continuously. Based on Cool Hand Luke, of course. And broadcast in Smell-O-Vision.

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The Prof
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Postby The Prof » 01 Nov 2006, 11:33

Neil Jung wrote:
The Prof wrote:well bumped - this is a great thread.


It must go to Classic Threads.


and moved.

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Re: Pitch a rubbish tv idea

Postby SWIMMING POOL HARRINGTON » 05 Aug 2017, 09:29

Move it back!

This is FABULOUS!
Darkness_Fish wrote:This is a big fucking mess of absolute shit from the off.

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SWIMMING POOL HARRINGTON
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Re:

Postby SWIMMING POOL HARRINGTON » 05 Nov 2018, 08:27

The Modernist wrote:The Hollies Investigate

A new consumer affairs programme with a twist as it will be presented by reunited sixties legends The Hollies. Each week The Hollies will tackle the complaints of consumers as they battle against shoddy workmanship and petty bureaucracy.
This week The Hollies visit Penrith where Mrs Davies has received appalling service from a vacuum cleaner company. The Hollies utilise all their experience in trying to force the company into admitting their liability in supplying a faulty valve on the hoover.
However just when it appears they have achieved their mission, familiar tensions break out as Alan Clarke and Graham Nash argue about which member should take the high harmonies. Does this mean that Mrs Davies will fail to taste the sweet sensation of justice? You shall just have to tune in to see.


Beautiful.
Darkness_Fish wrote:This is a big fucking mess of absolute shit from the off.

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The Modernist
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Re:

Postby The Modernist » 05 Nov 2018, 08:54

The Modernist wrote:THE APPRENTICE -THE SEQUEL

Following on from last year's big television hit, Allan Sugar is this year replaced by Kim Sung -Il, despot of North Korea. It's not easy keeping a population of 23 million in subjection and fear. Plucky Kim needs a strong righthand man/woman to help him and we have found six hopefuls to land the job of their dreams. Duties will include organising the secret police, basic torture and maintaining Kim Sung- Il's famed video collection of Quincy. In this week's task, the hopefuls have to arrest the editor of a newspaper and trump up sufficient charges to have him imprisoned for life.
Team A is lead by 26 year old Marketing Director Ben Mycroft from Leicester. Cocky Ben feels sure his background in marketing will lead to an easy win for his team, but he is against Team B lead by 20 year old learning assistant Lilly Garnett, who has survived a broken home and a "Jennifer Aniston cut" which went wrong and feels sure her hard upbringing will bring the kind of qualities to impress The Leader.
To spice things up a bit, each week the rejected contestant will be placed against a wall and shot by Kim Sung-Il's own specially trained regiment.
Starts November the sixth.


:D I reckon this was my best one!

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SWIMMING POOL HARRINGTON
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Re: Pitch a rubbish tv idea

Postby SWIMMING POOL HARRINGTON » 05 Nov 2018, 09:18

It's good, but I think the Hollies one is better because of the absurdity of the whole idea, topped off by that line about who should take the high harmonies which just comes out of the blue. I just laughed my socks off for the third time!
Darkness_Fish wrote:This is a big fucking mess of absolute shit from the off.