** TREASURY OF MIRTH - PART DEUX!!**

Backslapping time. Well done us. We are fantastic.
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Armchair Expert
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Postby Armchair Expert » 20 Apr 2006, 08:06

Nikki Sudden Death wrote:
Sutekh wrote:
Diamond Dog wrote: the drooling stumblebunnies


Seminal first album, they did.


And only album. Then one of them released Baker Street and the other discovered a lucrative punchline-free career shouting vaguely risque swearwords at uptight British audiences and passing it off as comedy.


To be fair the first uncovered the hitherto undiscovered Saxcellence of Bob Holness, while the latter foundout that Pamela Stephenson had nice tits.
.
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They say she ate to satiate a need for love

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Leg of lamb
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Postby Leg of lamb » 20 Apr 2006, 18:04

Jimmy Jazz wrote:
capt sword wrote:Anyone seen any sightings yet?
I've a feeling this could be a bad year.
Even the trees at the bottom of the garden have not blossomed.
A feeling of death is in the air.
I did have a wasp in my bedroom a few weeks ago.
It woke me up one Saturday morning.
Strange, because i had the bedroom window shut all night.
Bad sign when a wasp appears in your house out of nowhere.
Bad sign that.
Better take a look in the atic this weekend.

Image

:roll:


Is this the great lost Syd Barrett lyric ?


I don't especially want the Jimmy Jazz bit to be the credited part. It does draw attention to the greatness of the post well, which is why I have included, but it's all about Capt. Sword's words here. Fuck, I laughed.
Brother Spoon wrote:I would probably enjoy this record more if it came to me in a brown paper bag filled with manure, instead of this richly illustrated disgrace to my eyes.

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Penk!
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Postby Penk! » 20 Apr 2006, 18:06

Leg of lamb wrote:
Jimmy Jazz wrote:
capt sword wrote:Anyone seen any sightings yet?
I've a feeling this could be a bad year.
Even the trees at the bottom of the garden have not blossomed.
A feeling of death is in the air.
I did have a wasp in my bedroom a few weeks ago.
It woke me up one Saturday morning.
Strange, because i had the bedroom window shut all night.
Bad sign when a wasp appears in your house out of nowhere.
Bad sign that.
Better take a look in the atic this weekend.

Image

:roll:


Is this the great lost Syd Barrett lyric ?


I don't especially want the Jimmy Jazz bit to be the credited part. It does draw attention to the greatness of the post well, which is why I have included, but it's all about Capt. Sword's words here. Fuck, I laughed.


He's on form today, isn't he? His paean to goats is another classic.
fange wrote:One of the things i really dislike in this life is people raising their voices in German.

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Diamond Dog
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Postby Diamond Dog » 20 Apr 2006, 18:30

:evil:

BCB Curator of Mirth wrote:I say, chaps. The Treasury is a depository for any of those little moments that have brought a smile to your face on other threads on this site and works best if one can casually peruse it at one's leisure without having to wade through (often not funny at all) discussion and inane chit-chat.

Could we just transfer things here and discuss them elsewhere, please?

Thanks in advance.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
When I was a kid, I inhaled. Frequently. That was the point.

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Sambient
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Postby Sambient » 20 Apr 2006, 18:59

Diamond Dog wrote::evil:

BCB Curator of Mirth wrote:I say, chaps. The Treasury is a depository for any of those little moments that have brought a smile to your face on other threads on this site and works best if one can casually peruse it at one's leisure without having to wade through (often not funny at all) discussion and inane chit-chat.

Could we just transfer things here and discuss them elsewhere, please?

Thanks in advance.


Feh. That one wasn't funny at all.

Phil T

Postby Phil T » 21 Apr 2006, 08:40

On the 'Doherty busted yet again' thread:

Penk is the Drug wrote:
Dan wrote:Pete Doherty rocks.


You missed out 'smokes'.


I was gonna post that! :(

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The Dríver
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Postby The Dríver » 21 Apr 2006, 13:28

bhoywonder wrote:
django wrote:If you could recommend that someone try something, just once, what would it be?

Do three hours a week for 6 weeks volunteering with people with learning disabilities. Talk about consciousness expansion.


If they have learning difficulties, wouldn't it be better to talk about something a little simpler to grasp?
He's a simpleton. 200 years ago they wouldn't have let him milk a cow.

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Clippernolan
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Postby Clippernolan » 21 Apr 2006, 19:15

LMG wrote:
Billybob Dylan wrote:
Snarfyguy wrote:a jelicopter

Is that a helicopter made of Jello?


Never agree to a ride in a helicopter made of Jello, even as a 'free' birthday treat from a friend or loved one or on holiday, when the carefree atmosphere may lead the potential passenger to abandon their normal attitude of suspicion towards dessert-based aeronautic adventure. They are a con, and not subject to the same exacting safety requirements as the more conventional helicopters made of steel.

A ride in a Jello helicopter may seem like an attractive proposition, but that's only until it ends in the injury or sometimes even death of the occupants.

If tempted, just ask yourself this question: 'What if we have to make an emergency landing on water? What then?'
Read my blog - The Delete Bin

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Heilan Coo
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Postby Heilan Coo » 21 Apr 2006, 20:21

Penk is the Drug wrote:
JQW wrote:
Johnny Fartpants wrote:
JQW wrote:I wish I'd left the flat a couple of minutes earlier this morning, as I'd missed the bus I intended to catch. There's a gorgeous woman who gets on that bus later into the journey and I think I may be on to something with her.

Why don't you follow her to work one morning and then stand with your face pressed against her office window all day ? I'm sure she won't think you're mental or anything.


Well, when she gets off the bus at the same stop as myself she always disappears up an alleyway between an office block and a church. There's nothing up that alley other than the loading bay for a shopping centre I believe, so I'm a bit puzzled as to where she does work.


Image :?:
savoirfaire wrote:They are extremely cuddly, to the point where I think I was literally molested by a few of them. I completely understand how the farmer-goat relationships must happen.

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brotherlouie
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Postby brotherlouie » 22 Apr 2006, 10:08

Underwater wrote:
Unlucky Bear wrote:
Underwater wrote:Ferrero Rocher are to fancy eating what 50 cent is to music.


Busy at school , are we???


Busy at work, are we?

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Martial Lawniz
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Postby Martial Lawniz » 22 Apr 2006, 22:03

Harsh, but fair.

TheBoyGiraffe wrote:
Johnny Fartpants wrote:Who are you more like - your mum or your dad?
Looks wise, my dad. Personailty wise, my mum.


your mum's an utter cunt?
I was eating Strawberry. Hello.

Johnny Fartpants

Postby Johnny Fartpants » 22 Apr 2006, 22:13

Bob wrote:Harsh, but fair.

TheBoyGiraffe wrote:
Johnny Fartpants wrote:Who are you more like - your mum or your dad?
Looks wise, my dad. Personailty wise, my mum.


your mum's an utter cunt?


Pair of bastards.

:cry:

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Charlie O.
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Postby Charlie O. » 23 Apr 2006, 01:47

Bob wrote:
Jimbo wrote:One doesn't "listen" to the Dead like it is simply music, you "get into" them like they were a nice bed. Let the rhythm guitars and Bob Weir be your blanket while the Mickey's drums and Phil's bass are the mattress. Jerry is a pillow for your head, man.


So you've seen God?

Did he seem normal?

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Velvis
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Postby Velvis » 24 Apr 2006, 11:37

On displays of anger during childbirth:

kath wrote:
Senoreater Hotsie wrote:And that was with an epidural!


me, too.

aside from yelling who knows what at everyone involved, i punched the exhole on both occasions.

the first, well, after 36 hours of labor and nada, i decided that he just got too close. he was asking for it.

the second time, the labor went faster, but he had the nerve to stand there next to me with a *smile* on his face. it didn't help that the scrub cap he was wearing made him look like a giant green mushroom. (yes, the fungal analogy was always fitting for him.)

did you have one of those mirrors on the ceiling, angled so you could see the impending spawn appear? some sickie thought that one up. i looked up at one point and saw nothing but afterbirth. it was... huge. horrible. alien-ish. i yelled, "that's not the fucquin BABY, is it?!?!?!?"

... i had a rough time.
a gibbon running freely

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Martial Lawniz
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Postby Martial Lawniz » 24 Apr 2006, 14:27

I bow to you, sir!


ALB wrote:
The Prof wrote:
Diamond Dog wrote:
The Prof wrote:
Diamond Dog wrote:If they serve no 'real' purpose, we won't miss them then, will we?


There's a whole industry selling Royal tat. From tea-towels to coins to all sorts of stuff. I know a lot of it is produced in the Far East but people do make a living from this stuff.


So a few quid made by a few itinerant traders is worth preserving an outdated farrago for?


You just want her head to be removed from stamps so you can have Jimmy Page on.


Then he really would be able to lick Jimmy's backside.
I was eating Strawberry. Hello.

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bhoywonder
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Postby bhoywonder » 24 Apr 2006, 15:46

andymacandy wrote:
Bob wrote:
Rorschach wrote:And where is the biblical authority for this stance? What did Jesus ever have to say about contraception that warrents this irresponsible attitude?


"And in the act, thou shalt not wear johnnies, or any heathen condiment which shall impede thy great release for the torrents of nations are upon us."

Testophonim, 2:21

If he means chilli powder or cayenne, you can see where he's coming from............

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brotherlouie
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Postby brotherlouie » 24 Apr 2006, 17:29

It's almost too complicated contextualise this
Sutekh wrote:"We regret to announce the late arrival of the 10.23, due to the wrong kind of spunk on the line..."

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Scally Mcgrew
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Postby Scally Mcgrew » 24 Apr 2006, 18:32

On the 'classic British movies on giveaway' thread:

andymacandy wrote:
new musical exprez wrote:"Supersize Me"

Wishfull thinking,Matthew?
Know what really makes me mad? They clean me with a Brillo pad...

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cheifwhat
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Postby cheifwhat » 24 Apr 2006, 20:47

Billybob Dylan wrote:
Diamond Dog wrote:
Dr Markus wrote:As great as it was, it should of ended years ago.


Have for fucks sake, have, not fucking of. :evil:

Fuck's for fuck's sake, fuck's, not fucking fucks.
Mostly dancing sir,...

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bhoywonder
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Postby bhoywonder » 27 Apr 2006, 09:55

The Prof wrote:
Bleep wrote:Depeche Mode have been going 25 years, and in that time sure, they've made some shit


They have a 100% record.