How do you convince a girl to take it up the ass?

Backslapping time. Well done us. We are fantastic.
User avatar
andymacandy
"Liberal Airhead"
Posts: 29877
Joined: 18 Jul 2003, 18:26
Location: MacAndys Farm

Postby andymacandy » 28 Sep 2005, 22:56

Hotsie wrote:Actually a guy got 3 years in jail as his sentence this month for solicitation and sodomy.

He's going to get a lot more of both, Id guess...........
Bless the weather.......Image

User avatar
Poppypoobah
Resident Hotty
Posts: 17501
Joined: 18 Jul 2003, 23:03
Location: Paradise
Contact:

Postby Poppypoobah » 28 Sep 2005, 22:57

andymacandy wrote:
Hotsie wrote:Actually a guy got 3 years in jail as his sentence this month for solicitation and sodomy.

He's going to get a lot more of both, Id guess...........
Good point!

Minnie, Boss of Appropriate Posting

Postby Minnie, Boss of Appropriate Posting » 29 Sep 2005, 12:55

Jesus, I turn my back for five minutes and this board has gone anal mad.
My advice would be to anyone wanting to try anal is to invest in a butt plug first. That way either gender can get used to the feel of something in their arse. I would recommend using one while wanking and once you've come with one in, it does tend to relax one somewhat, what what what.

User avatar
Maxwell's Golden Pickaxe
spud thick mick
Posts: 5844
Joined: 06 Oct 2004, 17:44
Location: Airurando
Contact:

Postby Maxwell's Golden Pickaxe » 29 Sep 2005, 14:37

I joined a garage/punk forum there a few days ago out of boredom. Within about 5 minutes of my first post I get a message from the moderator saying my avatar is too big (average by BCB standards). He points me to the rules. There's loads of crap about size of images, foul language, only posting about the 'correct' type of music and other shit.

Y'know, BCB pisses me off now and then but I cannot think of any other music forum that would allow its users to merrily conduct a 9 page thread about sailing up the cadbury canal. Personally I think this should be in Classic Threads. I mean, I was walking around all day yesterday laughing to myself at the whole thing. It really is ridiculous. And quite brilliant.

I will remember these days when I'm sitting by the fireside and the light is fading slowly....and maybe I'll reach for the poker and think, what was Hotsie's advice again?

User avatar
Poppypoobah
Resident Hotty
Posts: 17501
Joined: 18 Jul 2003, 23:03
Location: Paradise
Contact:

Postby Poppypoobah » 29 Sep 2005, 14:42

Maxwell's Golden Pickaxe wrote:I will remember these days when I'm sitting by the fireside and the light is fading slowly....and maybe I'll reach for the poker and think, what was Hotsie's advice again?
Don't blame me! It was Minnie's advice!

User avatar
Count Machuki
BCB Cup Champion 2013
Posts: 37434
Joined: 11 Jun 2005, 15:28
Location: 22,300 miles above the Earth

Postby Count Machuki » 29 Sep 2005, 15:01

Hotsie wrote:
Maxwell's Golden Pickaxe wrote:I will remember these days when I'm sitting by the fireside and the light is fading slowly....and maybe I'll reach for the poker and think, what was Hotsie's advice again?
Don't blame me! It was Minnie's advice!


maxwell's sex toys, yesterday.... (OUCH!)

Image
Let U be the set of all united sets, K be the set of the kids and D be the set of things divided.
Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

Covers Cup Champion 2017

User avatar
Maxwell's Golden Pickaxe
spud thick mick
Posts: 5844
Joined: 06 Oct 2004, 17:44
Location: Airurando
Contact:

Postby Maxwell's Golden Pickaxe » 29 Sep 2005, 16:03

Good Lord....look at that one on the right...ouch!!

User avatar
souphound
World Class Ignoramus
Posts: 24539
Joined: 27 Oct 2003, 19:49
Location: Tralfamadore, with Montana Wildhack

Postby souphound » 29 Sep 2005, 16:11

Maxwell's Golden Pickaxe wrote:Good Lord....look at that one on the right...ouch!!


Oh like any of the others look like a party?
Footy wrote:Last week, I discovered that the cordless drill I bought about 5 years ago is, in fact, a cordless screwdiver.

User avatar
Zong
A Chump Among Men
Posts: 4625
Joined: 18 Jul 2003, 09:03
Location: In a right cockney barrel of monkeys.

Postby Zong » 29 Sep 2005, 16:11

surely doing it up the arse just means you've missed?
Anyone could join in so I discarded my jeans

User avatar
Sea Of Tunes
down the drain
Posts: 19092
Joined: 17 Jul 2003, 17:44
Location: 5 Star Member - It's Official
Contact:

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 29 Sep 2005, 18:42

Zong's a bit of a twat wrote:surely doing it up the arse just means you've missed?


No. It is thus: It is a way of doing it that is good for some and others feel bad about it. I feel good, I can clamp my buttocks around it and with some extra muscle tension I feel even better. My body accepts it, in other words. Other people will have less wonderful feelings.
One has to make a personal choice and not be led by archaic books and lower-class aggressive admonitions written in Holy Manifests.
'Normal' sex has just the same problems. A lot of female orifices don't comply with the penis of their loved ones and quite a lot of girls do not enjoy sex at all. I can't help that.
Be honest, be fair, respect each other, and enjoy physical intimacy, that's all.
Frank.
It is not down on any map. True places never are.

The Modernist

Postby The Modernist » 29 Sep 2005, 19:22

Minnie the Minx wrote:Jesus, I turn my back for five minutes and this board has gone anal mad.
My advice would be to anyone wanting to try anal is to invest in a butt plug first. That way either gender can get used to the feel of something in their arse. I would recommend using one while wanking and once you've come with one in, it does tend to relax one somewhat, what what what.


:shock:
...And I'm having trouble finding a plug to fit my kitchen sink, what chance have I got finding that!

User avatar
blindlemonjefferson
Posts: 2816
Joined: 01 Aug 2003, 22:32
Location: Murica

Postby blindlemonjefferson » 29 Sep 2005, 20:27

I haven't had time to read all ten pages, but has anyone suggested this?

Image
dimitri wrote:but you just have to expect that i will get you back in the near future when you least expect it

User avatar
Sea Of Tunes
down the drain
Posts: 19092
Joined: 17 Jul 2003, 17:44
Location: 5 Star Member - It's Official
Contact:

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 29 Sep 2005, 21:00

Madam I'm...Adam wrote:I haven't had time to read all ten pages, but has anyone suggested this?

Image


No. Rohypnol is like that other Mickey Finn... called GHB. Anyone who uses this is a criminal in my view. To the girls: take care of men who suggest that another drink or something. I abhor sex that comes as an afterthought to heavy drinking, or drugging. It will kill eventually.
It is not down on any map. True places never are.

User avatar
The Slider
Self-Aggrandising Cock
Posts: 45641
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 19:05
Location: I'm only here for the sneer
Contact:

Postby The Slider » 29 Sep 2005, 21:10

:lol:

This thread is priceless.
David Bowie Reduxed Mp3 set now available in the usual place, should you want one
Image

User avatar
Sea Of Tunes
down the drain
Posts: 19092
Joined: 17 Jul 2003, 17:44
Location: 5 Star Member - It's Official
Contact:

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 29 Sep 2005, 21:11

The Smamfy wrote:
Sea Of Tunes wrote: I abhor sex that comes as an afterthought to heavy drinking, or drugging....



oh I don't.


Smamf, I can buy you any drug or drink in this Goddamn world, if only...
It is not down on any map. True places never are.

User avatar
blindlemonjefferson
Posts: 2816
Joined: 01 Aug 2003, 22:32
Location: Murica

Postby blindlemonjefferson » 29 Sep 2005, 21:31

Sea Of Tunes wrote:
Madam I'm...Adam wrote:I haven't had time to read all ten pages, but has anyone suggested this?

Image


No. Rohypnol is like that other Mickey Finn... called GHB. Anyone who uses this is a criminal in my view. To the girls: take care of men who suggest that another drink or something. I abhor sex that comes as an afterthought to heavy drinking, or drugging. It will kill eventually.


Yeah, but it might just do the trick.

At least he wouldn't have to go through the hastle of having to ask her...
dimitri wrote:but you just have to expect that i will get you back in the near future when you least expect it

User avatar
Mr Maps
a drunk in a midnight choir
Posts: 14118
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 19:07
Location: The City of Trees in Canada's Ocean Playground

Postby Mr Maps » 04 Oct 2005, 15:35

The Slider wrote::lol:

This thread is priceless.


So, classic or no?
nathan wrote:I realize there is a time and a place for unsexy music, but I personally have no time for it.


Django wrote: It's video clips of earnest post-rock I want, and I have little time for anything else.

19th biggest tosser on BCB

User avatar
Sambient
Posts: 16602
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 14:56
Location: Nerdvana

Postby Sambient » 04 Oct 2005, 15:43

Hey. This thread is back.


BTW, I'd meant to say this earlier. I think shampoo as a lube, even in a pinch, is a bad idea. Um, soap burns.
Maybe using conditioner, but softness is not a desired effect in this activity.

User avatar
Sea Of Tunes
down the drain
Posts: 19092
Joined: 17 Jul 2003, 17:44
Location: 5 Star Member - It's Official
Contact:

Postby Sea Of Tunes » 04 Oct 2005, 15:47

Sambient wrote:Hey. This thread is back.


BTW, I'd meant to say this earlier. I think shampoo as a lube, even in a pinch, is a bad idea. Um, soap burns.
Maybe using conditioner, but softness is not a desired effect in this activity.


You are so right. Shampoo is basic, mostly, with a pH above 7. Hence, it bites and hurts.
KY or good facial moisturizing cream does the trick.
It is not down on any map. True places never are.

User avatar
Count Machuki
BCB Cup Champion 2013
Posts: 37434
Joined: 11 Jun 2005, 15:28
Location: 22,300 miles above the Earth

Postby Count Machuki » 04 Oct 2005, 15:49

http://www.cheaplubes.com/

what the hell am i doing on this thread?!
Let U be the set of all united sets, K be the set of the kids and D be the set of things divided.
Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

Covers Cup Champion 2017