How do you convince a girl to take it up the ass?

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Mr Maps
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How do you convince a girl to take it up the ass?

Postby Mr Maps » 27 Sep 2005, 13:46

A friend (no, really) asked me the other day as he has a new screwing partner and he sees me as some sort of sex experienced guru (God knows why) I did alright in my day but now I've got one partner for the long haul and I'm not sure how to answer him so I throw it open to the membership.
nathan wrote:I realize there is a time and a place for unsexy music, but I personally have no time for it.


Django wrote: It's video clips of earnest post-rock I want, and I have little time for anything else.

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The Red Heifer
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Postby The Red Heifer » 27 Sep 2005, 13:48

Well for some reason the only girl i did it with introduced it to me, I think it felt really hollow.

But for the man to bring it up might be seen in a poor light. Hence, wait for the lady to make the move. Otherwise she just isn't interested.
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Postby Count Machuki » 27 Sep 2005, 13:49

marry her.
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Re: How do you convince a girl to take it up the ass?

Postby Johnny Fartpants » 27 Sep 2005, 13:50

Set the mood ... sexy music, soft lighting, nice bottle of wine ... then take her by the hand, stare straight into her eyes and ask "ey up luv, do yer take it up the shitter ?".

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Postby Velvis » 27 Sep 2005, 14:06

The Red Heifer wrote:Well for some reason the only girl i did it with introduced it to me, I think it felt really hollow.


I bet she doesn't make any sound when she farts.
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Postby Poppypoobah » 27 Sep 2005, 14:09

This is not something that "your friend" should just spring on his new lady friend. I'd say start out with a little butt play when he's giving her head, see how she responds to being licked or touched, if she jumps and screams (in a bad way) then he's probably not going to get any bum love anytime soon. If she pushes back against his tongue or asks him to stick his tongue or finger in her bottom, then he's hit the jackpot and should marry her.

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Postby Mr Maps » 27 Sep 2005, 14:10

Hotsie wrote:This is not something that "your friend" should just spring on his new lady friend. I'd say start out with a little butt play when he's giving her head, see how she responds to being licked or touched, if she jumps and screams (in a bad way) then he's probably not going to get any bum love anytime soon. If she pushes back against his tongue or asks him to stick his tongue or finger in her bottom, then he's hit the jackpot and should marry her.


That's kind of what I said. It really is a friend, I've been with the same girl for four years and we have dealt with this issue along time ago.
nathan wrote:I realize there is a time and a place for unsexy music, but I personally have no time for it.


Django wrote: It's video clips of earnest post-rock I want, and I have little time for anything else.

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Postby Poppypoobah » 27 Sep 2005, 14:13

Mr. Maps wrote:
Hotsie wrote:This is not something that "your friend" should just spring on his new lady friend. I'd say start out with a little butt play when he's giving her head, see how she responds to being licked or touched, if she jumps and screams (in a bad way) then he's probably not going to get any bum love anytime soon. If she pushes back against his tongue or asks him to stick his tongue or finger in her bottom, then he's hit the jackpot and should marry her.


That's kind of what I said. It really is a friend, I've been with the same girl for four years and we have dealt with this issue along time ago.
Did you hit the jackpot?

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Postby Mr Maps » 27 Sep 2005, 14:15

Hotsie wrote:
Mr. Maps wrote:
Hotsie wrote:This is not something that "your friend" should just spring on his new lady friend. I'd say start out with a little butt play when he's giving her head, see how she responds to being licked or touched, if she jumps and screams (in a bad way) then he's probably not going to get any bum love anytime soon. If she pushes back against his tongue or asks him to stick his tongue or finger in her bottom, then he's hit the jackpot and should marry her.


That's kind of what I said. It really is a friend, I've been with the same girl for four years and we have dealt with this issue along time ago.
Did you hit the jackpot?


I'm not one to get too personal on this site and she does sometimes lurk here. If she saw it she would liberate me from my nut sack and fancy herself a change purse.
nathan wrote:I realize there is a time and a place for unsexy music, but I personally have no time for it.


Django wrote: It's video clips of earnest post-rock I want, and I have little time for anything else.

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Postby Mr Tapioca Head » 27 Sep 2005, 14:17

Mr. Maps wrote:
Hotsie wrote:
Mr. Maps wrote:
Hotsie wrote:This is not something that "your friend" should just spring on his new lady friend. I'd say start out with a little butt play when he's giving her head, see how she responds to being licked or touched, if she jumps and screams (in a bad way) then he's probably not going to get any bum love anytime soon. If she pushes back against his tongue or asks him to stick his tongue or finger in her bottom, then he's hit the jackpot and should marry her.


That's kind of what I said. It really is a friend, I've been with the same girl for four years and we have dealt with this issue along time ago.
Did you hit the jackpot?


I'm not one to get too personal on this site and she does sometimes lurk here. If she saw it she would liberate me from my nut sack and fancy herself a change purse.


That's a yes then
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Postby Poppypoobah » 27 Sep 2005, 14:17

Mr. Maps wrote:I'm not one to get too personal on this site and she does sometimes lurk here. If she saw it she would liberate me from my nut sack and fancy herself a change purse.


I take it, that's a no then? :wink:

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Postby Mr Maps » 27 Sep 2005, 14:28

Wile E Tapioca - Genius wrote:That's a yes then


Hotsie wrote:that's a no then? :wink:


8-)
nathan wrote:I realize there is a time and a place for unsexy music, but I personally have no time for it.


Django wrote: It's video clips of earnest post-rock I want, and I have little time for anything else.

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Postby ladyflash » 27 Sep 2005, 14:30

I agree with Mr fartpants- I think you should have a few drinks and then ask if she takes it up the Gary Glitter, if she wouldnt like this chat then she's not going to be up for it.

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Postby Thesiger » 27 Sep 2005, 14:32

Maybe try some mood music;

Tunnel of Love
Theme from Shaft
Working in a Coal Mine
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Count Machuki
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Postby Count Machuki » 27 Sep 2005, 14:33

Thesiger wrote:Maybe try some mood music;

Tunnel of Love
Theme from Shaft
Working in a Coal Mine


:lol:
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Postby Johnny Fartpants » 27 Sep 2005, 14:34

ladyflash wrote:I agree with Mr fartpants-


:shock:

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Postby Ray K. » 27 Sep 2005, 14:35

Just wait until the lady's asleep...

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Postby Billybob Dylan » 27 Sep 2005, 14:37

Thesiger wrote:Maybe try some mood music;

Tunnel of Love
Theme from Shaft
Working in a Coal Mine

The theme tune from Bottom?
"I've been reduced to thruppence!"

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Postby The Dríver » 27 Sep 2005, 14:42

Thesiger wrote:Maybe try some mood music;

Tunnel of Love
Theme from Shaft
Working in a Coal Mine

Or Up The Junction
Right Behind You

or from Disney's Aladdin there's A Hole New World...
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