LianneITV wrote:'Porn Idol' will feature 10 members of the ordinary public like you, locked in a house with only fruit and Vaseline.
Friut!! Wahay! Phwoar, phwoar.
GemmaBBC wrote:ha ha ha, oh my god, you lot are funny, don't worry I'm still checking to see how long a thread about Barry White can continue for!
GoogaMooga wrote: The further away from home you go, the greater the risk of getting stuck there.
Diamond Dog wrote:For some peculiar reason, I've never read this thread.
Footy wrote:Last week, I discovered that the cordless drill I bought about 5 years ago is, in fact, a cordless screwdiver.
Goatsheadsouphound wrote:Diamond Dog wrote:For some peculiar reason, I've never read this thread.
Yeah, same here.
How am I supposed to work while laughing out loud?
The Midnight Special wrote:Right then, Lianne. What I'm gonna tell you now is worth you and 2 of your mates in a travel inn for the whole night.
The causes of WW1 from a woman's point of view., eh? It's funny you should say "from a woman's point of view" because it was actually a woman who started it. A swiss woman - how ironic is that. Well, as you know Switzerland used to be the main European superpower before Egypt took over the role. Switzerland are always thought to be all namby pamby and all "Oh no. Don't fight. people might need a plaster. have some cheese instead." But no. The most aggressivest fuckers on the planet.
Deep in the bowels of the Alps they've got a war machine dedicated to starting wars. Which they always blame on Germany. But I'll give them that - Germany are cunts anyway. Well one day in 1914 the Swiss Prime Minister (not the official, puppet ruler, the secret REAL one) Betty Scheissenhaausen went down to the shops to buy a toblerone flavoured pot noodle but they were out of stock. Well, what's remarkable about that you might ask. Well, she was an ADDICT to them. And boy did she need her fix that morning. PMTs and all that. But there was a national shortage that her advisors had failed to inform her about. Well you can imagine what happened next. This bird went ballistic. She got in her private tank (which was disguised to look like an elephant so as not to attract attention) and trundled off towards the nearest source of toblerone flavoured pot noodles - sarajevo. When she got there 5 days later (tanks aren't fast at the best of times) she was in a right state, hungry, cold turkey, period, bad hair day - the lot. She drove right towards the nearest pot noodle kellar - but there was some sort of official cavalcade barring her way. It was only the Archduke Ferdinand and his cronies. Well the swiss bird had always hated him for having the last rich tea at a League of Nations conference some years earlier. She drew her blunderbuss from her knicker pocket and popped a cap in the mutha fucka's ass. The rest is history.
So do you do rimming?
C wrote:I said nothing for years but enough is enough.
Lord Rother wrote:Big Big Train’s Gregory Spawton sums it up pretty well