Is this thing on? ahem
Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking *pauses for laughter*, I nevertheless feel it incumbent upon me to spare a few words for my adversary and for this august convocation generally.
Let’s get right to the heart of the matter: ladies and gentleman, my adversary has not CHEATED in order to advance to the final round, where I rightfully ought to be. Allegations of ELECTORAL CHICANERY are as preposterous as they are scurrilous. There was no remaining evidence of any FRAUD.
No accusations of VOTER INTIMIDATION can be proved, you see, and a man here is innocent until proven GUILTY!
And that nonsense about a YOUNG BOY was just that – nonsense! Why would a man in my adversary's position committ such DEPRAVED ACTS? Why, I ask? I don't know why...
I will graciously concede that my adversary has technically beaten me using traditional means such as REDISTRICTING, SUPPRESSING DEMOCRACY, and of course OUTSPENDING me because he is a rich momma’s boy, God bless him. *sips drink* But this razor-thin “victory” is no mandate, no. *shakes head* If the people wanted my avversary, how come they voted for me so much, huh?
Listen layees and gentlemen, I count among you some of my dearest friends *sips drink* and I just wanna say I love you all. *sips drink* You guys are the best! *sniff*
But you knoew, some of you just don’t… don’t have the COURAGE of your CONVICTIONS!! *swills from bottle* If you could just… *winces* some of you…
Fuck it, you know what? Some of you fuckin assholes are just cocksuging mutherfugggs is what is! You know? Yeah, I’m talkin to you, fucknuts, you wan' some? Let’s fuggin go!
*peels off jacket, accidentally ripping sleeve off*
*swills from bottle*
Some of you *pauses to catch breath*… you fuck… grrdZ PIG FUCK
Hey! Hey, get off me!! Lemme go, I’m talkin here!!! Iss my speech 65eb *smashes bottle* GET THE FUGG OFFA ME!! Noooo! NNNOOOOO!!!! AHHHhhhhhhhhhh
Jimbo wrote:Look, all I know is pretty much what I get from Robert Parry over at Consortium News.