I've been holding on to this for a while, and seeing as there has been very little in the way of venomous ranting I've decided to post it:
Oh, you sad, sad people.
Safe in your comfortable little boxes – everything nice and orderly, your pieces of plastic all polished and gleaming, waiting for the guests that never show up. Do you know why they never show up? I’ll tell you why. Because you have no friends, that’s why. Nobody likes you, and nobody ever will because you’re BORING. That’s right – BORING. Just take a look at what you chose to represent yourselves and this wonderful web world called BCB. Take a look at that list and tell me that it is not the safest, most depressingly dull thing you have ever seen. Pull your fingers out of your noses for one second and think about your lives and where they are headed. You’ll all no doubt wind up sitting in a nursing home in some shithole town talking about Paul fucking Weller to some urine-soaked gimp who can only manage a feeble “Pulp…” in return, and you won’t even know if he’s talking about music.
Oh, you sad people and your sad little cliques. “Oh look!”, you say, “A BIG name is about to come crashing down!” One of yours, one of the people with “taste”, who somehow seem to be able to arbitrarily decide who is and who isn’t worthy of their esteem, as if somehow you were able to look at our record collections with your giant binoculars. I get the last laugh, however, as I put ink on the eyepieces, you turkey-necked freaks. I invite any of you to come look at my records, you will, without exception, find a collection worthy of gathering only the rarest of dust in any higher institute of musicology. Please ignore the Sgt. Peppers OST. Thank you.
In the end, what do we stand to gain by letting something like this:
1.I Can See Clearly Now - Johnny Nash
2. There She Goes - The La's
3. Something Changed - Pulp
4. Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve
5. A Well Respected Man - The Kinks
6. Positively Lost Me - The Rave-Ups
7. Alone Again, Or - Love
8. A Girl Like You - Edwyn Collins
9. The Passenger - Iggy Pop
10. People Who Died - Jim Carroll Band
11. Garbageman - Cramps
12. Drive She Said - Stan Ridgway
13. Red Right Hand - Nick Cave
14. I'm Your Man - Leonard Cohen
15. Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - Nina Simone
16. Don't Compromise Yourself - Howard Tate
17. Chain of Fools - Aretha Franklin
18. Gimme Shelter - The Rolling Stones
19. Detonation Boulevard - The Sisters of Mercy
20. Twin Cadillac Valentine - Screaming Blue Messiahs
be representative of the collective taste of BCB?
Look long and hard at that list. Can you honestly tell me that there is anything there even remotely as exciting as something like John Lee Hooker’s ‘Walkin’ The Boogie’?
If you can, then you should bow your heads in shame, because you have obviously been born without ears and undoubtedly look like a styrofoam-headed mannequin that some left-handed idiot with less brains than a bucket of puke has drawn cross-eyes on. For shame. For shame. Hide yourself, freak, the villagers are coming and they want to burn your bookshelf stereo and your miserly collection of shitty CDs.
‘Enlightenment’. That’s what drew us here, it’s what drew us to Mojo4music.com in the first place, and I’ll tell you one last thing: that list up there, that list was made by someone from the Q message boards. Can’t you see it? Dollars to donuts it’s Fartpants’ list. Do you see what you’re voting for, now, oh enlightened ones? Do you?
Go fuck yourselves, you worthless fartknockers.
If you've got nothing to do, don't do it here.