Rants: Round 1 / Match 4 - Eric Soundtracks out

Th best rant is...

A
4
29%
B
10
71%
 
Total votes: 14

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Davey the Fat Boy
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Rants: Round 1 / Match 4 - Eric Soundtracks out

Postby Davey the Fat Boy » 25 Sep 2007, 18:05

A

Credit-takin', Norwich-livin', giftshop-workin', fuckin'-cuntin', lip-smackin', Wham-backin', Heartache-releasin', chart-ruinin', Shirley-lickin', spastic-dancin'... Pepsi!

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B

Bob Cratchit - A Reassessment

Bob, there was a time, and it seems so long ago when you seemed an honest and hardworking man. We were both younger then and you seemed a decent sort. That is all behind us now as I see you for who you truly are.

You are an indolent man who expects a decent wage for doing a job most men wouldn't stoop to. have you NO self respect, man? You are a weak and complaining man. You want to be warm? Shut the fuck up about Plum Pudding and buy yourself some COAL! You don't want to work at Christmas? neither do the guys at the "Blockbuster" but you don't hear them whining like little girls about it, do you? no you don't, PAL!

Once I believe you had Tiny Tim's best interests at heart but now I see right through you, Bob.You have a sick kid and that's a shame. But, if jesus christ couldn't heal the world's sick, what do you expect ME to do about it!? you just haul that kid around town on your shoulders to make me feel bad, like I should DO something about it. Why not just wear a sandwich board begging for sympathy? better yet, why not put the kid's picture on t.v. with Sally Fucking Struthers? "Ooh! Here's little Timmy, he needs an operation!! don't you feel terrible???"

You've got too many mouths to feed? well, who's fault is that? pardon me if I don't feel any sympathy for a man who can't even be bothered to name all his children. I suppose you just couldn't restrain yourself at the sight of your homely wife? Nobody MADE you have those kids. you want me to come over to your house and wipe their little noses for you?

You once seemed an honest man, Bob. Now you sulk around like the world's oldest goth."oh! I'm so cold in my gloves that are so fashionably worn!" I just want to take both ends of your comforter and strangle you until your eyes bug out. Bah Humbug, asshole. maybe if you pushed that pathetic goose in her face instead of pretending to swoon over it, maybe that man-faced wife of yours would go out and get a REAL job!

Life ain't fair, Bob. GET OVER IT!
Last edited by Davey the Fat Boy on 28 Sep 2007, 19:09, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby Davey the Fat Boy » 25 Sep 2007, 18:06

Seems like moddie's words about brevity had some impact. :P
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sloopjohnc
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby sloopjohnc » 25 Sep 2007, 18:11

Abstain.
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toomanyhatz
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby toomanyhatz » 25 Sep 2007, 18:45

sloopjohnc wrote:Abstain.


Yeah, what he said. Man, these mostly suck so far.
sloopjohnc wrote:I know I picked the Diamondbacks, but they were the wildcard. Next teams will be a little tougher.


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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby sloopjohnc » 25 Sep 2007, 19:08

toomanyhatz wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:Abstain.


Yeah, what he said. Man, these mostly suck so far.


Except for round three, it seems like this is choke city.
Sneelock wrote:You’ll like her better after she dies. Siouxsie won’t ever die. She’s a vampire or some shit.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby Sneelock » 25 Sep 2007, 19:21

Image
'hatz and sloop for the last 3 days.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby kath » 26 Sep 2007, 16:35

i happen to like the bob cratchit one.

and no, i didn't write it.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby sloopjohnc » 26 Sep 2007, 20:19

kath wrote:i happen to like the bob cratchit one.

and no, i didn't write it.


Siddown, loo-zah
Sneelock wrote:You’ll like her better after she dies. Siouxsie won’t ever die. She’s a vampire or some shit.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby sloopjohnc » 26 Sep 2007, 20:20

Sneelock wrote:Image
'hatz and sloop for the last 3 days.


If it weren't for Hatz and I, there would be no one voting on this thing.
Last edited by sloopjohnc on 27 Sep 2007, 14:23, edited 1 time in total.
Sneelock wrote:You’ll like her better after she dies. Siouxsie won’t ever die. She’s a vampire or some shit.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby Sneelock » 26 Sep 2007, 20:48

voting? you call that voting? why that's the lamest voting I ever saw!

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kath
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby kath » 26 Sep 2007, 20:55

sloopjohnc wrote:Siddown, loo-zah


a few things:

(a) i am sitting down, bitchfucque. i never type standing up, as it would be hazardous to the breakable items on my computer desk.

and

(2) were you or were you not one of the .00267 people who voted for me?

don't think i'm gonna let you live it down.

smackkkkkkkkk.

(that was a slobbery-kiss-on-the-cheek smackkk, as opposed to a knock-ya-upside-the-hayd smackkk, just in case you were wondering.)

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toomanyhatz
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby toomanyhatz » 26 Sep 2007, 21:44

Sneelock wrote:voting? you call that voting? why that's the lamest voting I ever saw!


I think you should rant about it.

But a real rant, not whatever these are.
sloopjohnc wrote:I know I picked the Diamondbacks, but they were the wildcard. Next teams will be a little tougher.


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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby Sneelock » 26 Sep 2007, 22:16

don't you need to win the pope hat before you wear it?

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby Snarfyguy » 26 Sep 2007, 23:37

B, because it made me laugh!
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4

Postby Corporate whore » 28 Sep 2007, 08:06

B

Made me laugh.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4 - Eric Soundtracks out

Postby Davey the Fat Boy » 28 Sep 2007, 19:09

B - send an entry for round two by Sunaday night please.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4 - Eric Soundtracks out

Postby Sneelock » 03 Oct 2007, 01:49

um, this coming Sunaday?

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4 - Eric Soundtracks out

Postby Davey the Fat Boy » 03 Oct 2007, 16:11

Sneelock wrote:um, this coming Sunaday?


Was suppused to be last Sunaday. Of course now it's Wednesaday and I've only gotten one entry - so I'll assume this contest is dead.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4 - Eric Soundtracks out

Postby Sneelock » 03 Oct 2007, 19:00

so, I guess whoever sent one is the winner!
do we get to see it before the awards dinner?

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 4 - Eric Soundtracks out

Postby savoirefaire » 04 Oct 2007, 09:35

B. A didn't look like a real rant at all.
Kid P wrote:*Deleted*
Should have quoted SF

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