Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

The best rant is...

A
15
94%
b
1
6%
 
Total votes: 16

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Davey the Fat Boy
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Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby Davey the Fat Boy » 23 Sep 2007, 19:01

A

Stepen LaVere. Respected music historian, publisher and producer. And cunt! He's the kid at Infants school who first told you there was no Father Christmas. He's the guy at college who told you that girl you fancied was shagging your best mate. He's the bloke at work who knows the score and is determined to tell you before you go home to watch the highlights. He is, in short, the pratt who found the photos of Robert Johnson.

As a young man, I held certain truths to be self-evident. Walsall FC would never win anything, I would remain a virgin forever and this -


Image

- was what Robert Johnson looked like. He was the perfect legend - a limited repertoire, all that devil at the crossroads stuff and NO PHOTO! He was a ghost, a spirit on the wind blowing from the Mississippi Delta to Bloxwich Canal.

And then in 1973 LaVere walks out the house of Johnsons "half-sister" with these -

Image

Image

Fuck off!!! Even 30 years later these photo's exist in an alternative universe - not mine. "Oh but it must be him. Look, he's got such long fingers". Well I'm short-sighted but I'm not Buddy Holly. I've got a big cock but I'm not Ronnie Lane. - (poetic licence!).

If my time spent reading this site has taught me anything it's that facts should never be allowed to get in the way of spurious myths. I demand the right to believe in Marianne and the Mars Bar, Ozzy and the bat and that Van Morrison really isn't one of the most miserable human beings on the planet. Smartarse fuckers like LaVere can piss on my parade all they like - bollocks to the truth!

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B

Grace is the biggest scam of the '90s. Crapola for people with crap taste. There's not a coherent melody to be found on the entire album. Precious 'lil Jeffrey's "singing" is like a bag of drowning cats. This shit was never designed to be played on the radio, the dancefloor or even at parties and it sure as hell wasn't made for driving fast on the freeway. It's rock snob music pure and simple. Tunes for effete little navel gazers whose idea of a good time is going to Starbucks with their buddies to discuss existentialism and who was evicted last night on Big Brother. Students with a few hundred CDs who are like, down with Jeff's pain, dude.

But wasn't he pretty though? It sure helps when you sing the most uncommercial pablum imaginable (proving once and for all that he was an "artist) if you look like Jim Morrison or Nick Drake--both of whom had more talent to back up the image than nepotist Jeff. Oh, and he died young, in Memphis of all places, of drowning! The only worthwhile thing he ever did.

Fuck 'em.
Last edited by Davey the Fat Boy on 26 Sep 2007, 16:57, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2

Postby & » 23 Sep 2007, 19:14

Voted for A, because I like the idea if not the entire execution.

B is just abuse.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2

Postby toomanyhatz » 24 Sep 2007, 03:09

That's a bit better, though I'm still waiting for a rant full of foul-mouthed ire here. B comes close, and hits that "I totally disagree, but you make a good case for your dubious opinion" place. No escaping the fact that the guy actually did have considerable talent, however you feel about how he used it (in my mind, it's mixed). So A takes it, despite being very low on the rantometer, for, 1) taking a more iconoclastic view and 2) for being better written in general.

I've still yet to see one better than my Anka-bob.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2

Postby The Red Heifer » 24 Sep 2007, 08:00

A, because Grace is a great album, and B just comes off like a fuckstick. Perhaps I'm just edgy given all the momumental slagging of great music that's going on lately, but if you had done that rant about Wolfmother, I'd probably drop to my knees.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2

Postby sloopjohnc » 24 Sep 2007, 13:53

A for me too. B seems it was half-heartedly written with a "gotta get this to Davey before 5pm."

I'm not a huge Jeff Buckley fan, but like Hatz says, you can't diminish the talent.

I think a rant like this is better when you acknowledge a person's talent and still spit in his general direction.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2

Postby Sneelock » 24 Sep 2007, 13:55

sloopjohnc wrote:I think a rant like this is better when you acknowledge a person's talent and still spit in his general direction.


I think a quart of milk is better when it's a gallon of booze.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby Davey the Fat Boy » 26 Sep 2007, 16:58

A wins. Please send an entry for round 2 by Sunday night.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby Snarfyguy » 26 Sep 2007, 23:42

Matt Wilson wrote:It's rock snob music pure and simple.

So how come I'm not a fan? :|

(full disclosure: I'm not aware of ever having heard any of Jeff Buckley's music.)
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby sloopjohnc » 27 Sep 2007, 14:25

Snarfyguy wrote:
Matt Wilson wrote:It's rock snob music pure and simple.

So how come I'm not a fan? :|

(full disclosure: I'm not aware of ever having heard any of Jeff Buckley's music.)


That's okay. Neither has Matt.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby Matt Wilson » 27 Sep 2007, 16:01

sloopjohnc wrote:
Snarfyguy wrote:
Matt Wilson wrote:It's rock snob music pure and simple.

So how come I'm not a fan? :|

(full disclosure: I'm not aware of ever having heard any of Jeff Buckley's music.)


That's okay. Neither has Matt.


I didn't have to. When Sloop told me he had a shrine to Jeff in his bedroom that was all I needed to know.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby sloopjohnc » 27 Sep 2007, 22:18

Wilson Schmilson wrote:I didn't have to. When Sloop told me he had a shrine to Jeff in his bedroom that was all I needed to know.


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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby Muskrat » 30 Dec 2007, 23:59

(A) because there are facts to bolster the opinion.

FWIW, LaVere is loathed in circles where he's known at all -- a major charge being (as I recall) that he stole from what rightfully belongs to whatever is of the Johnson estate.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby The Modernist » 13 Jan 2008, 15:10

I would've voted for B here. At least it's voicing an opinion that people can actually care about. A seemed so esoteric that I just thought 'who really cares'.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby The Red Heifer » 14 Jan 2008, 06:34

The only way I would've voted for Matt Wilson's wrongful slating of Grace was if the other rant was written about me.
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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby Matt Wilson » 12 Mar 2008, 00:13

You know, in light of the recent "Hallelujah" American Idol broohahah I pulled out Grace again to see if I had become worthy of its brilliance.

I hadn't. The Cohen track is still the only good song to these ears.

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Re: Rants: Round 1 / Match 2 - Matt Wilson out

Postby & » 18 Mar 2008, 07:32

Wilson Schmilson wrote:The Cohen track is still the only good song to these ears.

I recommend cleaning these ears.
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