"I vont to be alone"

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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GoogaMooga
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"I vont to be alone"

Postby GoogaMooga » 21 Feb 2020, 19:26

Image

Garbo, Salinger, Howard Hughes et al. - I want to join that club. I am 56 years old, and worn out socially. Used to long for company, been through it all, but really I am most relaxed when I am all by myself (cue Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto no. 2 in C minor).

It's just too much hard work being social and on the ball. And I am not "alone" in feeling that way, nearly half the world's population is introvert. But very few people take that radical step and withdraw. It's risky, what if you become sick, what if you go crazy, what about your old age.

In order to withdraw, you need to at least keep a few contacts. Real loners who die in their apartments, and are only discovered when their rotting corpses' stench fills the stairway and alerts the neighbors, nobody wants to go out that way.

The survival guide for loners:

Keep a few contacts
Make phone calls
If you are on a pension, do volunteer work where you can be by yourself most of the time and come and go as you please (e.g. work in a thrift shop).
Get online, join forums
Immerse yourself in a hobby
Read your books raw
"When the desert comes, people will be sad; just as Cannery Row was sad when all the pilchards were caught and canned and eaten." - John Steinbeck

Jimbo
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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Jimbo » 22 Feb 2020, 13:27

Just thinking how I need to drink whenever I get together with friends and acquaintances. Not that that drinking and hanging with friends isn't a hell of a lot of fun sometimes but that's how it always seems to go. I see how the internet is a big aid to the modern hermit. And canned food is a must have. The variety is staggering and no need to cook. Don't even need a can opener nowadays! All you need is a spoon, and maybe a bowl. Good luck, Googs!
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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Flower » 22 Feb 2020, 14:12

GM ~ Get a small pet. A turtle or even goldfish. Something to give additional reason for getting up in the morning.
If love could've saved you, you would've lived forever.

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Matt Wilson » 22 Feb 2020, 16:33

I'm probably about half introvert and half extrovert, depends on the mood. I almost never want to be the center of attention in a crowd anymore though, and would much rather have someone else do the talking. I'm also way better at one-on-one conversations than working a room. I'm alone for half the week usually, when my kids are with their mother. Currently, my oldest isn't getting along with her mom, so she stays with me. I do get lonely, and I'm sure I didn't think my life would turn out this way when I was younger and always had a girlfriend, but I'm not gonna settle for just anyone either. My last relationship ended because neither one of us was in love with the other. I guess I'd rather be alone than be with someone just to be in a relationship.

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby GoogaMooga » 22 Feb 2020, 17:47

I was a bit nervous after posting, because I was not sure how it would go down, but you guys seem to understand. Thanks for your input! :D

Flower - no need for a pet. CDs are my pets. ;)
"When the desert comes, people will be sad; just as Cannery Row was sad when all the pilchards were caught and canned and eaten." - John Steinbeck

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The Modernist
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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby The Modernist » 28 Feb 2020, 08:30

I can understand those hermit tendencies and have quite a few myself, but I don't think social isolation is healthy for anyone. Try and go out and join something even if it's only for a few hours a week. You'll feel better for it.

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GoogaMooga
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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby GoogaMooga » 28 Feb 2020, 16:08

The Modernist wrote:I can understand those hermit tendencies and have quite a few myself, but I don't think social isolation is healthy for anyone. Try and go out and join something even if it's only for a few hours a week. You'll feel better for it.


Oh, I do. I am a volunteer at a large thrift shop about twice a week. I am in charge of - you'll never guess - music and film. I am also good on the phone, and meet up with a few close friends a few times a year. Also, people in my block, even if it's only a brief chat on the footpath or on the stairs.
"When the desert comes, people will be sad; just as Cannery Row was sad when all the pilchards were caught and canned and eaten." - John Steinbeck

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Flower » 28 Feb 2020, 19:30

GM ~ It's often the small interactions that "matter" the most in this world. I live near a day care and the kid's playground was being "fixed" so the teachers (several who are friends) would take them out for walks during the school day. One day I was wearing a Flash t-shirt and this little boy called out to me and told me that he loved the Flash. The next day I noticed his Superman hat and commented upon it. He then proudly told the rest of his class that I was his friend. Since I always wave to all the kids, they all claimed me for their friend. Then the little boy told them all that I was his "best friend" and they all claimed the same. I told them that they were all my best friends which made everyone happy.

After that, I would see the kids on almost a daily basis. We would all exchange names, chat (they would all talk at once), talk about our pets and other things.

One morning, I was gardening when one of the little boys and his mother pasted my house, we all waved and said "Good Morning." When they were walking down the street, the little boy said to his mother with joy .. "Oh Mommy! I saw my friend, I saw my friend!." I started to cry.

So I guess that the point to this story is that it's the small interactions that touch us the most. I was sorry when the playground was finished.
If love could've saved you, you would've lived forever.

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby GoogaMooga » 28 Feb 2020, 21:28

Nice little anecdote, Flower, which really proves your point. :) The art of stimulating, intellectual conversation is kind of lost now, anyway, much like the art of letter writing. A thing of the past - 19th century, really. Nowadays it's texting and instagram and thumbs up or down. I just like to go off and do my own thing.
"When the desert comes, people will be sad; just as Cannery Row was sad when all the pilchards were caught and canned and eaten." - John Steinbeck

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Samoan » 15 Sep 2020, 12:31

.
Last edited by Samoan on 15 Sep 2020, 12:36, edited 1 time in total.
Nonsense to the aggressiveness, I've seen more aggression on the my little pony message board......I mean I was told.


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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Samoan » 15 Sep 2020, 12:34

Flower wrote:GM ~ It's often the small interactions that "matter" the most in this world. I live near a day care and the kid's playground was being "fixed" so the teachers (several who are friends) would take them out for walks during the school day. One day I was wearing a Flash t-shirt and this little boy called out to me and told me that he loved the Flash. The next day I noticed his Superman hat and commented upon it. He then proudly told the rest of his class that I was his friend. Since I always wave to all the kids, they all claimed me for their friend. Then the little boy told them all that I was his "best friend" and they all claimed the same. I told them that they were all my best friends which made everyone happy.

After that, I would see the kids on almost a daily basis. We would all exchange names, chat (they would all talk at once), talk about our pets and other things.

One morning, I was gardening when one of the little boys and his mother pasted my house, we all waved and said "Good Morning." When they were walking down the street, the little boy said to his mother with joy .. "Oh Mommy! I saw my friend, I saw my friend!." I started to cry.

So I guess that the point to this story is that it's the small interactions that touch us the most. I was sorry when the playground was finished.


:shock: :shock:
Last edited by Samoan on 15 Sep 2020, 12:37, edited 1 time in total.
Nonsense to the aggressiveness, I've seen more aggression on the my little pony message board......I mean I was told.


jimboo wrote:At the age of 57 I had my first pickled egg.

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Samoan » 15 Sep 2020, 12:36

.
Nonsense to the aggressiveness, I've seen more aggression on the my little pony message board......I mean I was told.


jimboo wrote:At the age of 57 I had my first pickled egg.

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Jumper K » 15 Sep 2020, 18:44

It helps if you fucking hate most everyone.

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Jimbly » 15 Sep 2020, 21:27

Jumper K wrote:It helps if you fucking hate most everyone.


u ok huni x
Image So Long Kid, Take A Bow.

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Jumper K » 15 Sep 2020, 21:52

Jimbly wrote:
Jumper K wrote:It helps if you fucking hate most everyone.


u ok huni x

SNAFU.x

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Hightea » 15 Sep 2020, 22:38

GM - I know what your feeling. Covid has really hit me hard on the loneliness issue. I've had bad relationships my whole life and have stayed in some way too long. About 3 years ago I split from my last girlfriend of 15 years (although there was some breaks). Since then I've lived alone, simplified my life and had enjoyed it for the most part. I've always supplemented it with friends, events, photography and concerts. However, under Covid - no concerts no events and little friend interaction (except online). Plus several months at home for work although back now eventhough I don't want to be.

It seems my loner life has changed me, as while on vacation this past month I had two friends along for the first two weeks. I've traveled with them before (although 5+ years ago), however I'm not the same dude. After two weeks I think they had enough of me and doubt either will talk to me again.
After they left my other friend who I wanted quite time with dragged me to a campground with her friends ( I didn't know them) - two of them were Christian right Trump supporters. I was not able to handle this in my crazy drunk state and laid into them pretty hard with my NY/NJ loud forceful mouth. This of course pissed off my friend and now she is barely talking to me too although I think she will come around. So three weeks in Maine with friends will lead to more alone time. I pretty much give up, and no longer care. Hopefully I'll get a remote job soon, buy a dog(wanted one but never home to have one) and live my life in peace. I've got the friends I want and need to keep getting rid of ones who complain I'm too old for negative people with silly complains.

thanksful music heals me

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby GoogaMooga » 15 Sep 2020, 23:41

Hightea, thanks for sharing. Hope your new direction in life works out for you. Being Asperger, the few friends I have made in life have tended to be eccentrics. Now, that might sound like an ostensibly interesting thing, but with eccentricity you often find crankiness or mood swings. It just seems it is easier to upset or fall out with a crackpot than with a more normal, even-keeled person.
"When the desert comes, people will be sad; just as Cannery Row was sad when all the pilchards were caught and canned and eaten." - John Steinbeck

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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Flower » 16 Sep 2020, 00:10

Hightea wrote:Hopefully I'll get a remote job soon, buy a dog(wanted one but never home to have one) and live my life in peace. I've got the friends I want and need to keep getting rid of ones who complain I'm too old for negative people with silly complains.

thanksful music heals me


Think about Doggie Daycare. Many places will pick up and deliver as well as offering care when you have to go out of town. :)

I also used to walk my cousin's dog at an unofficial dog park. Cabrini Park is now a dog park and playground but at the time, it was unofficial and all the dog owners would leash their dogs and leave the park in a hurry when a cop car would roll down Dauphine Street. I met many interesting dogs and people as well as making friends a few friends. :D
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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Minnie the Minx » 16 Sep 2020, 00:57

Hightea wrote:GM - I know what your feeling. Covid has really hit me hard on the loneliness issue. I've had bad relationships my whole life and have stayed in some way too long. About 3 years ago I split from my last girlfriend of 15 years (although there was some breaks). Since then I've lived alone, simplified my life and had enjoyed it for the most part. I've always supplemented it with friends, events, photography and concerts. However, under Covid - no concerts no events and little friend interaction (except online). Plus several months at home for work although back now eventhough I don't want to be.

It seems my loner life has changed me, as while on vacation this past month I had two friends along for the first two weeks. I've traveled with them before (although 5+ years ago), however I'm not the same dude. After two weeks I think they had enough of me and doubt either will talk to me again.
After they left my other friend who I wanted quite time with dragged me to a campground with her friends ( I didn't know them) - two of them were Christian right Trump supporters. I was not able to handle this in my crazy drunk state and laid into them pretty hard with my NY/NJ loud forceful mouth. This of course pissed off my friend and now she is barely talking to me too although I think she will come around. So three weeks in Maine with friends will lead to more alone time. I pretty much give up, and no longer care. Hopefully I'll get a remote job soon, buy a dog(wanted one but never home to have one) and live my life in peace. I've got the friends I want and need to keep getting rid of ones who complain I'm too old for negative people with silly complains.

thanksful music heals me


I think it is unsurprising that an aversion to socializing is likely to carry on for a while. I haven't felt it to the degree you describe, but on Saturday we "socialized" with other people for the first time since Mr. and Mrs. Jumper K got on the last flight back to the UK in March. We haven't met with anyone- at all- and finally we and two good friends realized that both of our households had had no chance of exposure - they had done even less socializing than us - and we went to theirs for a birthday dinner, just the four of us. I had anticipated this big excitement in the morning but instead I felt pretty flat in mood -almost nervous and apprehensive - and if they had called to cancel an hour before I would have been almost relieved. As it was, we had a fabulous time, but we won't be seeing anyone else and although I miss everyone, I also am enjoying curling up with books and cats.
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Hightea
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Re: "I vont to be alone"

Postby Hightea » 16 Sep 2020, 15:55

Flower wrote:
Hightea wrote:Hopefully I'll get a remote job soon, buy a dog(wanted one but never home to have one) and live my life in peace. I've got the friends I want and need to keep getting rid of ones who complain I'm too old for negative people with silly complains.

thanksful music heals me


Think about Doggie Daycare. Many places will pick up and deliver as well as offering care when you have to go out of town. :)

I also used to walk my cousin's dog at an unofficial dog park. Cabrini Park is now a dog park and playground but at the time, it was unofficial and all the dog owners would leash their dogs and leave the park in a hurry when a cop car would roll down Dauphine Street. I met many interesting dogs and people as well as making friends a few friends. :D

Yes I'm aware of many ways and care takers for dogs. I've baby sat a few friends dogs and cats. Heck even kept an African grey parrot for someone.
My problem in the past was I just didn't think I was home enough, 8 hour job and many nights and weekends away. However, if the job is remote I'll be home all the time and can get daycare on my few trips. Next question is what type of dog, that might be the harder one.