Things that you've read or heard that just made you laugh.

[Flower]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htvCx0FG9Ww&t=51s

[Samoan]

[Flower]

‘World’s unluckiest burglars’ butt-dialled police during U.K. heist

https://globalnews.ca/news/7564151/burg ... k-unlucky/

The two best crime-stoppers in the U.K. on Wednesday were also two of its worst suspected criminals after police say they pocket-dialled the authorities in the middle of a burglary.

The incident happened Wednesday evening in Stoke-on-Trent, England, according to Chief Insp. John Owen of Staffordshire Police.

Owen says one of the suspects “accidentally sat on his phone” and dialled 999, the British equivalent of 911.

The operator reported the call to police and stayed on the line while authorities rushed to the scene.

“We received a call detailing all of their antics up to the point of hearing our patrols arrive to arrest them,” Owen tweeted.

[Minnie the Minx]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... n-pictures



I mean, any of them really, but the Daley Thompson one is a cracker

[Minnie the Minx]

Fucking hell that was from 2014!!

[Tom Waits For No One]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/gallery/2014/jan/08/worlds-worst-wax-museum-in-pictures



I mean, any of them really, but the Daley Thompson one is a cracker

Noel is very lifelike.

[Minnie the Minx]

Prince William looks a little...full on

[The Fish]

What is it with dictators ? Mrssolini and Hitler are even more orange than TRump !

[Minnie the Minx]

They demand pillows made of Wotsits!

[Flower]

While the woman was unwise to leave her child in an unlocked or any car alone ... I love it that the thief scolded her for doing so, returned the child and then stole the car.

Thief steals car with 4-year-old inside, drives back to return boy, scold mother


https://www.wtoc.com/2021/01/18/thief-s ... ld-mother/



BEAVERTON, Ore. (KPTV) - An Oregon mother is grateful to have her 4-year-old son back after a thief stole her car with the child inside but came back to return the boy and scold his mother.

Police responded to Basics Meat Market around 9 a.m. Saturday in Beaverton, Oregon. Crystal Leary told them she had gone into the store to quickly grab a couple of items and left her 4-year-old son in the car with the engine running.

While she was inside, a man got into the car and drove off with the boy inside.

Leary says the suspect then drove back to the store and yelled at her, threatening to call the police because she left her son in the car. He ordered her to get the boy out of the car then drove off again.

[Jimbo]

Discussing tonight with the wife and son the nuance of "dropping the kids off at the pool," and the Star Trek joke: What did Spock find in Kirk's toilet? The Captain's Log. So stupid and so funny.

[Minnie the Minx]

Elton John has bought his rabbit a treadmill.

It’s a little fit bunny.

[Mike Boom]

I don't have a bunny, but boy if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live.

[Minnie the Minx]

I don't have a bunny, but boy if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live.

[Flower]

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out.

The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, “What do you want?” The bartender replies, “First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food.”

The panda bear turns around and says, “Hey! I’m a Panda. Look it up!” The bartender goes into the back room and looks up panda bear in the encyclopedia, which read: “Panda: a bear-like marsupial originating in Asian regions. Known largely for it’s stark black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

[Jimbo]

An astronaut returning from Mars is asked how much more advanced are the Martians. "Six weeks," he says. "You know those plastic disposable razors? They got theirs six weeks before we did."

[Flower]

This made me smile more than laugh but people should really go through items that they donate to charity.
Vancouver Value Village workers return $85K found in bag of donations

https://globalnews.ca/news/7592473/valu ... vancouver/

A group of Vancouver Value Village employees is being praised for doing the right thing, after finding more than $85,000 stashed away in a donation bag.

“It is really a feel-good story. This is found money; who knows what they could have done with it,” Sgt. Steve Addison told Global News on Thursday.

“They did the right thing, they called the police, and we’re in the process of returning the money to the rightful owner.”

The workers found the money while sorting through a bag of donations at a Value Village facility on Venables Street on Jan. 18, Addison said.

[Flower]

President Biden Removed Trump's 'Diet Coke' Button In Oval Office: Report


https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/donald- ... id-2356558

The Hill reported that Donald Trump, a soda devotee, reportedly had the button put in place on the Resolute Desk in order to "keep the carbonated beverages flowing". When pressed, a staffer would be summoned to provide the drink to the thirsty commander in chief.

[Flower]

[pcqgod]

Seems like the could have used a more scientific term than "butthole." Like "poop-chute" maybe?



https://www.livescience.com/amp/first-dinosaur-butthole-found.html