Things that you've read or heard that just made you laugh.

[Flower]

There are times when I read or hear things that just make me laugh, the remarks can be clever or just not make any sense.

This had me giggling the other day ... "She's having trouble with her internet. I'll email her."

[Diamond Dog]

The key to knowing joy is being easily pleased.

[Flower]

"They are not really or legally married because they didn't invite me to their wedding."

[GoogaMooga]

didn't make me laugh, but I like it:

déja poo - boring crap you've heard already

[Jimbo]

I pictured a mafia goomba slamming a baseball bat into some poor guy's crotch and the goomba saying, "I'm just busting your balls."

[Flower]

I just heard on the radio that .. "men are dipping their testicles in soya sauce to see if they can taste it"



I couldn't believe it but apparently it's true

https://nypost.com/2020/01/21/weird-tik ... -taste-it/

[Snarfyguy]

Angry panda animated .gif.

[Samoan]

.

[Flower]

There are events called Skankfest.

https://skankfest.net/comic/

This summer the producers of Skankfest announced that they were heading South Westward, bringing everything that makes Skankfest great to the city of Houston Texas. Today, the festival’s chief skank and ringmaster Luis J. Gomez announced the fest’s initial lineup, and it’s impressive. When the festival hits the City of Houston in late March- March 27th and 29th to be specific, the city will host some of the best of New York and Los Angeles comedy. On board are all the Skanks- Dave Smith, Luis J. Gomez and Big Jay Oakerson- of course. Nate Bargatze is coming and so is Eddie Pepitone. So are Bonnie McFarlane and Rich Vos, Jim Norton and Jim Florentine, Ron Bennington and Robert Kelly, Jessica Kirson and Sal Vulcano. Tim Dillon, Yannis Pappas. Joe DeRosa, Shane Gillis. Yamaneika. Mark Normand and Joe List. Tom Green is coming, so is Mike Vecchione. Andrew Schulz is on the list. Kurt Metzger, Adrienne Iapalucci and Cipha Sounds. Sarah Tollemach. Josh Adam Meyers, Jeremiah Watkins and Avery Pearson, are coming. Corrinne Fisher, Krystyna Hutchinson, and Calise Hawkins. Jessa Reed. Katie Hannigan. Mike Recine. Brian Redban and Tony Hinchcliffe. And it wouldn’t be Skankfest without Zac Amico. If you’re nasty. If you’re a skank, a kreep, a degenerate, have the word fucked in your podcast name, or just hang around anyone with one of those titles, you’re probably going to be at Skankfest when it rocks Houston.

Skankfest New York has earned a rabid following for fostering pure unrestricted stand up comedy. The festival made headlines last summer after a recording of Louis C.K. taking the stage to a ferocious standing ovation went viral. And while Skankfest may look a little scary to those accustomed to corporate backed festivals, it’s not. The average attendee has two things in common: an excessive amount of black tshirts in their wardrobe and a love and appreciation for great stand up comedy that rivals any other fanbase anywhere in the world. Although comedians listed lean towards blue comedy they aren’t all dirty. The list runs the gamut- embracing clean comics, super stars, outcasts, and up and coming.

[Samoan]

.

[Flower]

Heard today on "The Antiques Road Trip, Series 20, Episode 25'

i had an uncle who was in the antiques trade. He always used to say to me .. "When one door opens, another one closes."

Was he a philosopher?

NO, he was a lousy cabinet maker.

[Samoan]

Man found guilty of smuggling £50m worth of live eels out of UK


https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/feb/07/man-guilty-smuggling-millions-pounds-worth-live-eels-uk-hong-kong

[Flower]

I was at the supermarket this morning for a few items and got on the shortest line that I could find. The cashier was about to finish ringing up the guy in front of me when she came across a "fruit" of some kind, it was yellow and looked like a cross between a melon and a gourd of some type. The cashier checked and there wasn't a code sticker of any type on the "fruit" so she asked the guy who was purchasing it, what it was so that she could ring it up. His response was "I don't know" .. she then asked if he knew the price and again she got "I don't know" .. finally she had to go to the produce department to find out.



Yes, she found out what it was and rang it up without telling the guy what the item was called. Not that he asked her or knew what he was purchasing.

[Jimbo]

All the treadmill running machines at my gym are lined up in front of a long and large window. Yesterday before I began my workout I closed the window shade before my machine to block the hot sun. I then went along the line and closed the next shades because the sun would only get hotter and I was doing a favor for the rest of us. Three machines down was this old gentleman who asked that I not close his shade and he began to tell me why. My Japanese sucks and maybe I misunderstood but he was telling me that there was something special he was seeing out the window. The view consisted of the sky, the elevated railroad track, a long, old, tin roofed Japanese factory building and some scrubby ground. I looked and looked and finally asked what special thing he was seeing that I couldn't see. And he said (I think) there was a silver-colored point somewhere in that view (on the factory roof I think) that he liked to look at as he did his old man walk on the treadmill and that it helped him to balance. I had to laugh at his persnickety-ness

[Flower]

"The majority belief is usually right" ...

Just thinking about Trump.

[Samoan]

G still getting steamed up about BCB


Edit: And later, snuffling about on here as toy town is so moribund.

[`]

We should all safeguard ourselves against CoVid by injecting ourselves with disinfectant and going and standing in the sun for a while

[Flower]

I've loved Walt Handelsman's humor for years ..

[Flower]

[C]

The thing that immediately came to mind was on these BCB boards a few weeks ago

It was when that tosser Fartpants returned briefly and made some kind of 'tits out for the lads' comment.

And he said:

'Where have all the tits gone...?'

With that, I think Deebank, said:

'They have their own Board/website now'

I laughed and chuckled at that for days

Good lads







.