Living Wills

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yomptepi
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Living Wills

Postby yomptepi » 21 Dec 2018, 16:46

As many of you know, my mother in law has dementia, and at the moment is being cared for in a residential home in Jersey. Unfortunately she slipped and broke her hip/leg a few weeks ago, and being nearly 90, she is not healing so quickly. She is not in the best of mental health, and I often describe her as being at large in space and time. She really has no clue where in the last 50 years she is, and often thinks I am her father, or her sisters husband.

Anyway, My wife's brother is a desperate and grasping cunt. He has decided that the MOL left a living will, and we should join him in persuading the hospital to withdraw medicine and care. Now I was over in Jersey last week, and she is just fine. She is cheerful, and positive. Looking forward to getting back to her friends in the home. But I am worried. I have no idea what a living will is, and I have no idea how to contest it if he decides to come forward with some cock and bull story about her not wanting to live if she gets too incapacitated. Certainly when I found all the documents relation to the wills in their house, there was no such thing, but he says "we" can say that she told us all her last wishes. Which is just nonsense. He is broke, and living with friends and absolutely desperate for money. But I am absolutely unwilling to let him get rid of her so that he can get his hands on the money ( what there is of it)

Anyone got any experience of this. Any help would be much appreciated.
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Charlie O.
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Re: Living Wills

Postby Charlie O. » 21 Dec 2018, 17:02

I should just let somebody who knows more about it handle this. But I'm pretty sure - and I hope - that there's more to a living will than the children telling the doctors "this is what she told us." Especially if there's some doubt that she ever actually did.
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Toby
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Re: Living Wills

Postby Toby » 21 Dec 2018, 17:02

To my knowledge you would have to consult with the firm that the living will was created with. It sounds like he doesn't have power of attorney on his own, so his options would be extremely limited anyway.

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Re: Living Wills

Postby yomptepi » 21 Dec 2018, 17:12

Toby wrote:To my knowledge you would have to consult with the firm that the living will was created with. It sounds like he doesn't have power of attorney on his own, so his options would be extremely limited anyway.


Because she lives in Jersey none of us can have power of attorney. His pitch is that a living will can passed on by word of mouth. I am sure this is nonsense, but it is a bit of a bolt from the blue. I thought I had everything covered.
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robertff
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Re: Living Wills

Postby robertff » 21 Dec 2018, 17:21

As far as I am aware all things relating to wills have to be witnessed by an independent witness i.e. not a family member. So unless he has independent witnesses to the 'Living Will' I'm not sure that it would carry any weight legally. Therefore the most recent written will stands until it is replaced by a new one. Also if your mother in law is and was not of 'sound mind and body' as you seem to indicate, then anything which she has said to him privately won't mean a thing. Pretty sure a living will has to be a signed and witnessed document as well, not just a verbal statement
My in laws have written living wills drawn up by a solicitor.

My wife has recently had to jointly arrange 'power of attorney' for her parents for if and when the time comes that they are incapable of dealing with their financial affairs - there were many documents that needed filling in and signing by independent witnesses.

I have no legal training and I would advise consultation with someone who has, or at the very minimum arrange a visit to meet a legal aid at the Citizens' Advice Bureau, at least you would be able to put your mind at rest as to the legal situation.


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Re: Living Wills

Postby yomptepi » 21 Dec 2018, 17:25

That is very helpful. Her estate is being looked after by a curator, but they do listen to the families wishes over there. I cannot believe he could be so callous.
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Re: Living Wills

Postby yomptepi » 21 Dec 2018, 17:27

Am I right in thinking that a living will is a will that allows for a certain course of action to be taken should you not be able to make a decision for yourself then? So it is a legal , witnessed and signed document. Not an expression of a what a family member considers convenient?
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Re: Living Wills

Postby robertff » 21 Dec 2018, 19:05

yomptepi wrote:Am I right in thinking that a living will is a will that allows for a certain course of action to be taken should you not be able to make a decision for yourself then? So it is a legal , witnessed and signed document. Not an expression of a what a family member considers convenient?




As understand it, yes.

A couple of definitions, straight from using Google:

A living will is 'a written statement detailing a person's desires regarding future medical treatment in circumstances in which they are no longer able to express informed consent, especially an advance directive.'


'A living will, or advance decision or advance directive, is a document in which you can record your decisions as to the circumstances and types of medical treatment that you wish to refuse in the event that you do not have the capacity to communicate the decision yourself.'

There are others which state virtually the same thing.

Power of attorney is different.

Again, I have no legal training..........

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Re: Living Wills

Postby Toby » 21 Dec 2018, 19:12

I would imagine that going on someone’s word has absolutely no standing in a situation like this.

Good luck - your b-in-law sounds like an absolute unit.

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Re: Living Wills

Postby yomptepi » 21 Dec 2018, 21:42

Toby wrote:I would imagine that going on someone’s word has absolutely no standing in a situation like this.

Good luck - your b-in-law sounds like an absolute unit.


You have no idea. When he heard she had broken her leg he wanted to put her in a hospice. I had to explain that she wasn't dying....
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