tell us about one of your exes

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Charlie O.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Charlie O. » 06 Mar 2018, 06:04

Quaco wrote:Who was the rock musician?

Not tellin'. Doesn't matter anyway. Nobody you care about, believe me.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Quaco » 06 Mar 2018, 06:08

Charlie O. wrote:
Quaco wrote:Who was the rock musician?

Not tellin'. Doesn't matter anyway. Nobody you care about, believe me.

OK. Not Steven Tyler or anything.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Charlie O. » 06 Mar 2018, 06:11

I did say "not-overly-famous indie rock musician"!
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Jimbo » 06 Mar 2018, 06:51

Rita was a woman who lived in the same apartment complex as I. I was a slightly older than average college student and she, a year older than I, worked at the college in admin. Rita was Italian, a looker with feathered and layered Farrah Fawcett hair and wore Danskin tops that showed off her nipples. Divorced with no kids we hit it off with sex pretty soon after we met. We carried on for some months, I spending many of my nights in her apartment. But graduation was coming soon and, well, while Rita was a great lady I wasn't ready to settle down with her. I was certainly not willing to marry. To be honest, she wasn't intelligent enough for me to imagine spending my life with her. One day I laid it out, not saying the real reason but that I wasn't ready and blah blah blah. It was hard to say this but she took it well-ish and soon I left school and that was that until I returned to the college town some months later. I was to be the best man at my friends' wedding. Rita and I used to double date with the Bob and Kathy and so, naturally, Rita was invited. And she looked good and we went to bed that night at her place feeling as comfortable as we had before. In the morning, however, I was anxious to be gone. I had old friends to see and I had to go back to Seattle soon. So there was this uncomfortable muttering of goodbyes, some kisses, maybe, and I was relieved to be alone again and standing outside her door. Walking away, however, I realized that I forgot my hat. I had to go back and get it so I knocked and she came to the door with the hat and mercifully I somehow got away again. Anyway, about three years later and newly married while on a cross country car trip with my then new (now 35 years married) wife, I was showing her where I went to college and while slowly driving through the old apartment complex I spied Rita sitting alone on a stoop - and she saw me too! I know now I should have stopped, gotten out, been a real man, said hi, introduced the women and carried on. Instead, asshole coward that I am, I stepped on the gas and fucking ran away. So then, a couple of years after that I returned again to the town to see my old friend. Catching up I asked Bob if he'd seen Rita around and he told me that Rita had committed suicide a year or so before.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby ORORORO » 07 Mar 2018, 13:06

....
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby hippopotamus » 07 Mar 2018, 21:02

I went out with a poet for a while.... Well... I called him a poet, he didn't really have a job title. He lived with his mother for a part of the time we were dating WAY after an age it was okay to... but he was Irish and I wanted to be culturally sensitive. He did stand-up (of a kind) and I did think he was one of the funniest people I had ever met. He had a completely warped view of the world, which I guess was part of the job description, and was definitely an eccentric. He was always sort of working, trying to figure out a good rhyme or something funny he could make or perform. I once recorded him on skype because he was having a particularly funny rant, and he sent it to him, and he turned it into something he could sell at the christmas market. He used to steal things I said if he liked them and turn them into drawings or poems, or cards. He made something I said into a valentine's day card, which I've kept and feel weird about keeping, but it's also sort of nice to have something I made up into a thing.
I spent a LOT of time around writers, artists and musicians and I sort of miss that. I once went to a book launch and was making conversation with the people around my table. One turned to me and said "So what do YOU write". I tried to convince them that I don't write anything but they weren't having any of it. So I said "well I guess sometimes I write Scientific papers" and they were all relieved that I write SOMETHING.
He didn't really understand any job that wasn't about doing everything you love every minute of the day. He had no idea why I wanted to be a doctor. This used to get to me a lot. He used to tell me I should leave it and just tour with him. I still think he meant well, but it felt a bit like undermining my dream at the time. For being fairly brilliant with words he was one of the worst communicators of all time. But I still don't know how much of that was just to be expected of an Irish poet. Anything that was said was almost definitely not at all what was meant... even though I definitely always thought I meant what I said. Three times he thought I had broken up with him, when I hadn't. And finally when he broke up with me and we stopped speaking, I found out a year later, he didn't know he had.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Dr Markus » 07 Mar 2018, 21:13

hippopotamus wrote: He lived with his mother for a part of the time we were dating WAY after an age it was okay to... but he was Irish and I wanted to be culturally sensitive

Oi.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 07 Mar 2018, 21:20

hippopotamus wrote:He used to steal things I said if he liked them and turn them into drawings or poems, or cards.


I'm curious about this. Were these drawings/poems/cards that he made from your words gifts to you (like the Valentine's card you mentioned), or did he present them to others? And if he did present them to others, did he credit you for them, or did he just present them as his own work?
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby hippopotamus » 07 Mar 2018, 21:33

Harvey K-Tel wrote:
hippopotamus wrote:He used to steal things I said if he liked them and turn them into drawings or poems, or cards.


I'm curious about this. Were these drawings/poems/cards that he made from your words gifts to you (like the Valentine's card you mentioned), or did he present them to others? And if he did present them to others, did he credit you for them, or did he just present them as his own work?



He sold them for cash money. He quoted some quote about how he's an artist because he could RECOGNISE the good things and present them as art, when I would have casually just thrown them away as words. (This was not the quote but it was something like that.)


(I was not the only person who got that valentines day card that year)
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nev gash wrote:What is point?


Indeed, what is point?

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 07 Mar 2018, 21:42

hippopotamus wrote:
Harvey K-Tel wrote:
hippopotamus wrote:He used to steal things I said if he liked them and turn them into drawings or poems, or cards.


I'm curious about this. Were these drawings/poems/cards that he made from your words gifts to you (like the Valentine's card you mentioned), or did he present them to others? And if he did present them to others, did he credit you for them, or did he just present them as his own work?



He sold them for cash money. He quoted some quote about how he's an artist because he could RECOGNISE the good things and present them as art, when I would have casually just thrown them away as words. (This was not the quote but it was something like that.)


(I was not the only person who got that valentines day card that year)


Not that this is any of my business, but did it bother you that he claimed your thoughts and words as his own, despite his, um, "justification"?
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby gash on ignore » 07 Mar 2018, 21:45

*aborts plans to make and market a range of K-Tel says wut? greetings cards*
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 07 Mar 2018, 21:51

nev gash wrote:*aborts plans to make and market a range of K-Tel says wut? greetings cards*


Just send me 80% of the profits and we're good.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby hippopotamus » 07 Mar 2018, 21:56

Harvey K-Tel wrote:
hippopotamus wrote:
Harvey K-Tel wrote:
I'm curious about this. Were these drawings/poems/cards that he made from your words gifts to you (like the Valentine's card you mentioned), or did he present them to others? And if he did present them to others, did he credit you for them, or did he just present them as his own work?



He sold them for cash money. He quoted some quote about how he's an artist because he could RECOGNISE the good things and present them as art, when I would have casually just thrown them away as words. (This was not the quote but it was something like that.)


(I was not the only person who got that valentines day card that year)


Not that this is any of my business, but did it bother you that he claimed your thoughts and words as his own, despite his, um, "justification"?


Sometimes (Though Angshu used to populate BCB with my musical choices and opinions for Years I found out). He DID used to turn them into nice things. I also liked being part of the creative process a bit. Lord knows studying like I was and continually am, I never had much of a creative outlet otherwise. The weird thing was that he had obviously been working on a big work around something I had partly come up with when we were together. And a year later I see it launched as a book... its a bit weirder when I felt less part of that world.
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nev gash wrote:What is point?


Indeed, what is point?

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby quix » 07 Mar 2018, 22:07

Panayotis Papathanasis. He taught me how to say very very rude things in Greek. He was a Greek student here in Bath. He was very good friends with the boys in Tears for Fears and The Stranglers. Hugh lived in Bath at the time too. Years later I went out with someone called Jonathan Swift (really!) who’s brother had lived in the same flat as Panayotis (not at the same time obviously or we would have noticed him).

Whenever I go back to Bath I pass the flat and remember all the fun times we had there. It was my first real love affair.

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Belle Lettre » 07 Mar 2018, 23:07

No, I don't think I will, actually.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Carl's Son » 09 Mar 2018, 23:32

I was with my ex for over five years. She suffered from anxiety, didn't like to socialise with my friends and didn't really have any friends off her own in Cardiff, just her mum. It could make things difficult with me often gigging in the evenings and wanting to be able to socialise with my friends as well.

We broke up because we had been arguing all the time. No one did anything awful to the other or met someone else, it just wasn't working anymore. Towards the end of the relationship, when I began to suspect that there was an ending looming, I began to worry how she would cope without me. Not that I'm so great or anything, I just pictured her being sad and lonely, sat in on her own every night with no friends without me for company.

We broke up and within five months she's beenmaking much more effort to be be sociable with her work colleagues, made more effort to make new friends and got herself a new boyfriend. I'm glad she's not lonely and I want her to be happy but it's taken me aback a bit to see her apparently absolutely thriving without me while I'm the one who's depressed and lonely!
I can just about handle you driving like a pissed up crackhead and treating women like beanbags but I'm gonna say this once and once only Gene, stay out of Camberwick Green!

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby hippopotamus » 10 Mar 2018, 01:30

It's funny how a relationship between 2 people ends up bringing out certain characteristics in people and when you break up, for better and worse you aren't as defined anymore.

The only guy I regret having been with treated me extremely poorly... and just wasn t a good guy. He was good looking enough, and intelligent enough but he was so entirely narcissistic he barely even noticed me. I think the majority of the relationship I was just waiting for him to appreciate Any quality of mine.
And then he broke up with me. I took it very badly (not least because of how badly he did it.. And really how Stupid I thought he was being. I knew I was probably the best thing he had going... (he literally had One friend in the world, and I was offering him a lot. )
Anyway...
Almost 2 years pass and if I gave him any thought at all it was how happy I was of that near miss.
Last Friday I'm having an insanely busy day at work and I get a text message from him. This is shocking for how very very absolutely he had broken things off, but i could probably count the number of text messages he sent when we were together in one hand. Plus it's been 2 years!
He texts me again. And again.
"I've just gone through a life changing experience"
"I need to rethink my priorities"
"If you're still in Glasgow, and single, I'd love to see you again"
"Please reply"
"Please"
"Please"


And then on WhatsApp.


...
Even though I sort of expected/wished him to come to this fateful end...
I was pretty happy thinking where I've ended up, but reminded that in his eyes I probably have been sat doing nothing for 2 years... and maybe had I stayed with him I would have become the person he saw me as.
Diamond Dog wrote:
nev gash wrote:What is point?


Indeed, what is point?