tell us about one of your exes

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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ORORORO
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tell us about one of your exes

Postby ORORORO » 05 Mar 2018, 21:54

well GO ON THEN!!
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Harvey K-Tel
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 05 Mar 2018, 22:00

I'll never forget ol' what's-her-face.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Goat Boy » 05 Mar 2018, 22:01

Oh I couldn't slag off another BCBer like that
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby gash on ignore » 05 Mar 2018, 22:03

You still in touch with Clippernolan?
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby bobzilla77 » 05 Mar 2018, 22:11

She was all right, I guess. It didn't work out.

That's the story on all 14 of my exes.

Except for that one, lordy. What a piece of work.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby bobzilla77 » 05 Mar 2018, 22:18

One of the most physically gorgeous and desirable women I'd ever been with had breath that smelled - and a mouth that tasted - exactly like shit.

The first time I figured, well, maybe she just ate a big piece of shit, I'll offer her a piece of gum next time I see her. But the next time we made out was even worse and by the third I was literally afraid I might throw up in my mouth while kissing her.

It took me a while to figure out why I was being so "patient" with getting her to bed... even let some situations pass, that could have led to fireworks if taken all the way. "Weird, it's like I'm not even trying!"

I didn't dump her over it exactly, but she must have sensed I was growing cold to the touch, and stopped taking my calls.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Minnie the Minx » 05 Mar 2018, 22:23

This one chap, kept saying my breath stank. Eventually I stopped taking his calls.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby bobzilla77 » 05 Mar 2018, 22:34

Must have been somebody else. I could never tell a woman her breath stank, even if it was knocking the buzzards off the shit wagon.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Count Machuki » 05 Mar 2018, 22:49

[saudade]*wistful sigh*[/saudade]
Let U be the set of all united sets, K be the set of the kids and D be the set of things divided.
Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Count Machuki » 05 Mar 2018, 22:50

bobzilla77 wrote:
The first time I figured, well, maybe she just ate a big piece of shit..


:lol:
Let U be the set of all united sets, K be the set of the kids and D be the set of things divided.
Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby gash on ignore » 05 Mar 2018, 22:57

Count Machuki wrote:[saudade]*wistful sigh*[/saudade]


It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Snarfyguy » 05 Mar 2018, 23:03

Count Machuki wrote:
bobzilla77 wrote:
The first time I figured, well, maybe she just ate a big piece of shit..


:lol:

Occam's razor and all that.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Count Machuki » 05 Mar 2018, 23:04

nev gash wrote:
Count Machuki wrote:[saudade]*wistful sigh*[/saudade]


It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd


I mean, does it get much more BCB absurd than using the word saudade?

:oops:
Let U be the set of all united sets, K be the set of the kids and D be the set of things divided.
Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby gash on ignore » 05 Mar 2018, 23:05

42-39-56
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby gash on ignore » 05 Mar 2018, 23:05

Count Machuki wrote:
nev gash wrote:
Count Machuki wrote:[saudade]*wistful sigh*[/saudade]


It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd


I mean, does it get much more BCB absurd than using the word saudade?

:oops:


Sorry :|
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Count Machuki
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Count Machuki » 05 Mar 2018, 23:17

nev gash wrote:
Count Machuki wrote:
nev gash wrote:
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd


I mean, does it get much more BCB absurd than using the word saudade?

:oops:


Sorry :|


Thanks. I know that wasn't easy.
Let U be the set of all united sets, K be the set of the kids and D be the set of things divided.
Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby PresMuffley » 06 Mar 2018, 00:20

A girl I dated seriously in H.S. flipped her car on the way to my house one afternoon and suddenly became a Baptist, broke up with me, married some abusive asshole she had only known for a month or so who said shit like "Gawd told me you should was the dishes."
They got divorced after 2 or 3 months. Then she married some other idiot, another quick divorce. I believe she was 19 by this time. Then she became an anorexic.

I know all of this because my best friend is married to her older, stable sister. Last time I saw her my thoughts were something along the lines of "Whew!"
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Charlie O. » 06 Mar 2018, 05:44

The only relationship I ever regretted happened shortly after an early girlfriend whom I truly loved dumped me for another guy, plunging me into a deep depression. THIS woman started working at my workplace... she was fairly attractive, she liked a lot of the same music I did, and she was sufficiently attracted to me to pursue me. On our second date, when she told she "really liked me," I told her my emotional situation, and that while I was attracted to her and flattered that she felt the same about me, I wasn't sure I was ready for another girlfriend just yet - we could give it a shot if she really wanted to, but I wasn't so sure it would work out. She said "Oh, I understand, that's cool, we'll go slow, take it a day at a time..."

Within a few days she was taking the liberty of introducing herself to my friends as "Charlie's new girlfriend" (which confused and concerned them), was confiding to our co-workers about our sex life (though we did fool around a little, we hadn't actually had sex - and never did - but that wasn't what she was telling them), and... there were just red flags everywhere. We were "together" for about two weeks, and I spent the second week (at least) trying to decide how best to break it off, especially given the awkwardness of our having to still work together. I even called the ex who had dumped me for advice!

After I finally did it, she basically told all the co-workers she'd previously been bragging to that I had taken advantage of her and then broken her heart, and I think my name was mud to at least a few of those co-workers for a while after that though none of them confronted me directly. All of which was making my depression considerably worse.

One day a few months later, she took me aside at work and told me she hadn't had her period since we'd broken up and she was afraid she might be pregnant and I was the only guy she'd been with... Even leaving aside the fact that we'd never had intercourse, I had specific reason to question that last part (more about that in the next paragraph), but I gave her the benefit of the doubt - she's just freaked because she hasn't had her period, she's not thinking clearly, she probably isn't pregnant... She asked me to lend her five bucks for a test, and I did that. The test came back negative, we were both relieved, she suggested that maybe we could get back together, I gently declined.

As far as I know, none of our workmates knew about the pregnancy scare... but maybe a year later one of them who was (rightly) pissed off at her about something and venting to me and a few others about it did, in mid-rant, casually (bitchily, in fact) bring up her one night stand with a certain not-overly-famous indie rock musician she admired, who had then shunned her. This incident had occurred within days of my breaking up with her. And it was immediately clear to me, as I took in the co-worker's rant, that she had told practically everybody there about it at the time except me; for me her story was that said musician had come on to her but she had refused his advances because he was married - a story I had quietly doubted when she told it, and had been even more doubtful about a few months later. And for the first time it hit me that if she HAD turned out to be pregnant, she not only (A) would have been happy to let me take responsibility for it, financially and/or otherwise, but (B) apparently thought I was STOOPID enough to believe that I had magically impregnated her, and would never guess the truth, or even learn it from any of several other people we both knew.

Lessons learnt and all that.
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Quaco » 06 Mar 2018, 06:03

That's manliness! Magically impregnating a woman!
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Re: tell us about one of your exes

Postby Quaco » 06 Mar 2018, 06:03

Who was the rock musician?
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