Family questions

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Dr Markus
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Re: Family questions

Postby Dr Markus » 03 Jan 2018, 19:05

sloopjohnc wrote:
The Great Defector wrote:Obviously not in that position but if I was adopted, I need to fucking know or i'd go crazy.


I'm here, I'm queer. Get over it!



You wear a lot of Gay And Proud clothes? ;)
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sloopjohnc
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Re: Family questions

Postby sloopjohnc » 03 Jan 2018, 19:20

The Great Defector wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:
The Great Defector wrote:Obviously not in that position but if I was adopted, I need to fucking know or i'd go crazy.


I'm here, I'm queer. Get over it!



You wear a lot of Gay And Proud clothes? ;)


You gave me your tailor's name. . .
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Dr Markus
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Re: Family questions

Postby Dr Markus » 03 Jan 2018, 19:26

:lol:
Drama Queenie wrote:You are a chauvinist of the quaintest kind. About as threatening as Jack Duckworth, you are a harmless relic of that cherished era when things were 'different'. Now get back to drawing a moustache on that page three model

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Diamond Dog
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Re: Family questions

Postby Diamond Dog » 03 Jan 2018, 19:36

What does "Family" constitute to you? Is it just your immediate family i.e parents, siblings, children or is it much wider than that?

It has become much more just me, mum, the girls and my (3) brothers and (2) sisters - and partners- as the years roll on. I do stay in touch with my family left in London, but not nearly as much as I should.

How complex is your family life? Are there people you don't see or haven't talked to in years?

Not complex at all besides my ex sister in law and I haven't talked for nearly 15 years - I must confess, I don;t miss her one single iota (and I'm sure the feeling is reciprocated).. I still go out for a drink with her husband two/three times a year, so draw from that what you will :)

How far can you trace your family background?

My sister-in-law got back to mid 1800's on my mum's side.

What's the knottiest issue in your family? Any black sheep?

None.

What are your family's rhythms like? Do you all meet often? Do you have any family celebrations or traditions?

I go to a few sporting events with my youngest brother maybe half a dozen times a year, and I drink with my eldest brother about once a month. I see my other brother and two sisters reasonably regularly, but I can't pretend it's twice a week kind of thing.... I see my Mum at least twice a week and my two daughters and I see/dine etc at least once a week (though their relationships are making that harder).

If you are married or have step-relations, what's the "other" side of the family like?

Doesn't apply.
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Re: Family questions

Postby German Dave » 03 Jan 2018, 23:02

I can't imagine being able to answer any of those questions other than to say that I suppose, as the only person in my extended family to stay on at school after 16, I am probably the black sheep.

The rest is far to complicated and personal.
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Re: Family questions

Postby Jeemo » 03 Jan 2018, 23:49

The Great Defector wrote:Obviously not in that position but if I was adopted, I need to fucking know or i'd go crazy.


not that you'll read this.

Kids that are adopted now are required to be made aware of their full life story. If there are parts of their life that occurred before they were adopted, then it's full disclosure. In Scotland it's required that all kids moving to their "forever" families must have a memory box. Which contains photos from birth and all people involved in their start in life.
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Re: Family questions

Postby Muskrat » 04 Jan 2018, 04:46

The Great Defector wrote:Obviously not in that position but if I was adopted, I need to fucking know or i'd go crazy.

If you didn't know, it wouldn't make any difference, would it? How'd you know you didn't know?
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Re: Family questions

Postby Insouciant Western People » 04 Jan 2018, 10:08

Jeemo wrote:Kids that are adopted now are required to be made aware of their full life story. If there are parts of their life that occurred before they were adopted, then it's full disclosure. In Scotland it's required that all kids moving to their "forever" families must have a memory box. Which contains photos from birth and all people involved in their start in life.


I didn't know that. Interesting.

I've been minded from time to time to try tracing my birth parents, but I think it would upset my real parents too much, so I've always left it alone. Nothing is worth causing that sort of hurt to them. I may well pick it up after they're gone though, out of interest. I'd like to know who my birth parents were, and if I have any siblings/half siblings.

My sister is adopted too, but she's never told her three children. My youngest daughter once mentioned something about it at a family gathering, and my mum quickly shushed and distracted her. That was the first I knew about it.
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Jeemo
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Re: Family questions

Postby Jeemo » 04 Jan 2018, 10:18

Nick wrote:
Jeemo wrote:Kids that are adopted now are required to be made aware of their full life story. If there are parts of their life that occurred before they were adopted, then it's full disclosure. In Scotland it's required that all kids moving to their "forever" families must have a memory box. Which contains photos from birth and all people involved in their start in life.


I didn't know that. Interesting.

I've been minded from time to time to try tracing my birth parents, but I think it would upset my real parents too much, so I've always left it alone. Nothing is worth causing that sort of hurt to them. I may well pick it up after they're gone though, out of interest. I'd like to know who my birth parents were, and if I have any siblings/half siblings.

My sister is adopted too, but she's never told her three children. My youngest daughter once mentioned something about it at a family gathering, and my mum quickly shushed and distracted her. That was the first I knew about it.


It is also encouraged that when kids move to their prospective adoptive family. That they have contact with the previous family so as to help the transition process. We met up with one child six weeks after she moved on. We still see her and she knows exactly who we are, and that we are only a Skype call away
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Re: Family questions

Postby Toby » 04 Jan 2018, 10:30

Thanks to all those who have answered so far. I think it's really intriguing how families work (and don't work either). I will answer my own questions later this week.

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Dr Markus
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Re: Family questions

Postby Dr Markus » 04 Jan 2018, 11:07

Muskrat wrote:
The Great Defector wrote:Obviously not in that position but if I was adopted, I need to fucking know or i'd go crazy.

If you didn't know, it wouldn't make any difference, would it? How'd you know you didn't know?


:lol: you're correct. I suppose what I'm saying is if I was told I was adopted, I'd want to find out.
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Re: Family questions

Postby Polishgirl » 04 Jan 2018, 18:07

What does "Family" constitute to you? Is it just your immediate family i.e parents, siblings, children or is it much wider than that?
Parent, sister, bro in law, nieces, Mr T. My dad died in 2000.

How complex is your family life? Are there people you don't see or haven't talked to in years?
Very small family anyway. I have an uncle who I last saw at my niece's christening. He has two children who I last saw probably about 40 years ago. There's no scandalous reason for this; just a father and uncle who were rubbish at staying in touch with one another.

How far can you trace your family background?
I'm a family tree addict. Started doing mine about 20 years ago, and have done lots of other people's trees too since then. On my dad's side, back to around 1600 in Stoke/Potteries area; mostly grindingly poor. Mum's paternal side, back to 1885 in Shropshire, and maternal side about 1750 - this has been the most difficult line in some respects, as it's a Catholic line in Lancashire, and Catholic registers don't exist before around 1791.

What's the knottiest issue in your family? Any black sheep?
Nothing; we're boring gits.

What are your family's rhythms like? Do you all meet often? Do you have any family celebrations or traditions?
Tend to get together around school holidays; otherwise, regular phone and email contact. I speak to my mum every evening, and we see her every few weeks as she's not that far away.

If you are married or have step-relations, what's the "other" side of the family like?
They're lovely. We venture up to the frozen wastelands of the Midlands every few months to pay our respects. Phil's mum makes stupendously good cheese scones.
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