Funniest thing I've read in a long time

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Toby
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Funniest thing I've read in a long time

Postby Toby » 13 Nov 2017, 11:13

Taken from a Reddit thread about roleplay in sex

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/ ... h=f820d442

So we've been with eachother for 6 years. Our sex life is just as good as when it started, I just wanted to try out some kinkier stuff so I suggested roleplaying. Kevin (husband) was somewhat open to the idea, but also thought it was a bit ridiculous. This is something I've always wanted to try, sort of like a fetish. So we got a few costumes, a Cop outfit and a Spy trenchcoat for him, and a nurse and cheerleader outfit for me. All of our roleplaying revolves around one person being in character, and the other interacting with them. But he takes his roles as a joke! He goes intentionally extreme with the roles. I know he thinks it's a bit ridiculous, and I know he has more fun when he does this, but I want a real roleplay! For example, when he dressed up as the Cop, he was supposed to do a stop and frisk, arrest me, etc, but in a sexy way. But instead, he kicks open the door, screams "HANDS UP THIS IS A RAID" and basically tackles me to the bed (this is OKAY it's NOT ABUSE we have rough dom/sub sex all the time), handcuffs me, literally reads me my Miranda Rights, leaves me there and rummages through the drawers throwing stuff everywhere, pulls out a little baggy of weed and goes apeshit like a cop might. I play a long, try to get him to 'let me go' if I can do sexual favours for him. Then we have some rough sex with handcuffs and everything. The actual sex was good but he kept speaking into his fake radio calling for backup, when I was on top he would shout OFFICER DOWN OFFICER DOWN.

With the Spy outfit he would come in and check me for wires and do the whole Pink Panther thing where he says "It is lovely weather we are having" while sneaking to the drapes and then beating the drapes up. I was envisioning a more James Bond-eqsue seduction. Like, I like the sex, it's good, but I wanted a more porn-like experience. And it was kinda funny but not what I thought. And I KNOW that he thinks roleplay is ridiculous, and that he is trying to have fun with it but I feel like he doesn't know what I want. And I don't hate him for it, he's a big fuckin goofball in or out of our roles, but I want to have MY experience. How can I tell him this?

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The Modernist
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Re: Funniest thing I've read in a long time

Postby The Modernist » 13 Nov 2017, 11:49

:lol:
That's great.

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fange
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Re: Funniest thing I've read in a long time

Postby fange » 13 Nov 2017, 12:29

:lol:

That's hilarious.
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Jimbo
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Re: Funniest thing I've read in a long time

Postby Jimbo » 13 Nov 2017, 12:42


The Wig
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Rayge
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Re: Funniest thing I've read in a long time

Postby Rayge » 13 Nov 2017, 13:35

:| :| :|
You can't play a tune on an absolute

When the ball sleeps it dreams it is a Frisbee

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law, love under will

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Robert
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Re: Funniest thing I've read in a long time

Postby Robert » 13 Nov 2017, 14:40

Officer down, Officer down ! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: