sexual assault

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Re: sexual assault

Postby toomanyhatz » 04 Dec 2017, 21:51

I think you're giving him too much credit. I very much read it as, by his understanding, the aggressor in the situation is guilty of assault, regardless of how the aggression is received and of the power balance between the two. In which case he doesn't understand the meaning of the word. Levity, perhaps not. But brevity? Without a doubt. There's all KINDS of context missing there.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby sloopjohnc » 04 Dec 2017, 22:03

Thang-y wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:
Lord Rother wrote:Strange crowd.

Of course there’s another kind. I was sexually assaulted and it wasn’t damaging.


Sounds very Bobby Knightish - he was the college basketball coach who infamously said if a woman is getting raped, she should just sit back and enjoy it.

Jokes are fine, but seeing the tenor of the posts, you might have read the room a little better. I think that's why you're getting the reaction you're getting.


Are we that sensitive we can't take questionable posts? His switch-gender post I more or less read as putting forward a situation with reversed roles possibly in order to mildly provoke possibly also/or to question the role of gender in the discussion. The dubious use of assault in this quote does look dodgier. But not in the league of suggesting raped women should enjoy it - he's just .. well boasting really .. that a woman actively approached him sexually and he enjoyed it. Use of 'assault' there is provocative but why rise to the bait? It certainly doesn't offend me - it reflects on him not me. (I was going to make a similar point in another thread about another topic. In fact I will get around to it.)


Someone can make any questionable post they want. But don't be surprised if you get called on it. Which happened.

Just because one person isn't sensitive to a topic, or is in various degrees, don't be surprised if someone isn't as "tolerant."

I just don't get the indignation.

I had a similar discussion with my boss. Well sorta similar. . .

A local female teacher was having affairs with male students and he was surprised there was such an outcry. I think the reason for that was that it was girl on guy, "And hey, all guys wouldn't mind being come on by an older woman."

Besides the sexual overtures, there's the position of power. It's like these powerful newscasters coming on to interns and production assistants - I'm not reading much about them coming on to peers or their supervisors. They're more cagey than that, as are teachers and bosses. They're predators. It's less about the response and more about the predation.

Monica Lewinsky knew what she was getting into, I'm sure, but Pres. Clinton knew who he could pick on too.

My MO is, even on here most of the time, unless I fuck up, is err on the side of not hurting feelings. It's not how I take it or present it, but how it could be taken (Unless it's the Dodgers, then all bets are off). Sarcasm is a hard thing to do on a keyboard and over a computer screen.

Surely, that's understandable. . . and empathetic.

I'd hope that someone would wade into such a touchy subject by doing a little homework on the thread. Like I wrote, read the fucking room!
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Re: sexual assault

Postby The Great Defector » 04 Dec 2017, 22:07

sloopjohnc wrote:
Sounds very Bobby Knightish - he was the college basketball coach who infamously said if a woman is getting raped, she should just sit back and enjoy it.


Think you should add a bit more context to his statement. He didn't just say it because he hates women like it sounds.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby sloopjohnc » 04 Dec 2017, 22:17

The Great Defector wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:
Sounds very Bobby Knightish - he was the college basketball coach who infamously said if a woman is getting raped, she should just sit back and enjoy it.


Think you should add a bit more context to his statement. He didn't just say it because he hates women like it sounds.


If someone uses an example like that to illustrate a larger point, I don't have much sympathy for them, to be honest.

Feel free.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby Thang-y » 04 Dec 2017, 22:23

sloopjohnc wrote:Someone can make any questionable post they want. But don't be surprised if you get called on it. Which happened.

Of course. But the calling on it that I saw seemed to be disproportionate to him. Not that I wish to 'defend' him but there's plenty of full on (provocative) arguing (with plenty of ad hominem personal cracks) elsewhere. I don't think I did credit him so much, I think he was at least partly motivated to provoke - and he did. Likening that remark to the one where a guy says rape victims should enjoy it? No. Absolutely not. There is such a thing as welcome assault if you use the word as a forceful physical approach to someone you know will enjoy it, but using it in this context is only provocative. And it got you.

sloopjohnc wrote:Just because one person isn't sensitive to a topic, or is in various degrees, don't be surprised if someone isn't as "tolerant."

I wasn't.

sloopjohnc wrote:A local female teacher was having affairs with male students and he was surprised there was such an outcry. I think the reason for that was that it was girl on guy, "And hey, all guys wouldn't mind being come on by an older woman."

That's a whole other gender stereotyping discussion and I'm already behind on others.

sloopjohnc wrote:My MO is, even on here most of the time, unless I fuck up, is err on the side of not hurting feelings.

Yeah, that's cool. Not the overall tenor of the board though I'd hazard to say.

sloopjohnc wrote:I'd hope that someone would wade into such a touchy subject by doing a little homework on the thread. Like I wrote, read the fucking room!

*looks around* .. this is BCB, right?

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Re: sexual assault

Postby The Great Defector » 04 Dec 2017, 22:28

sloopjohnc wrote:
The Great Defector wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:
Sounds very Bobby Knightish - he was the college basketball coach who infamously said if a woman is getting raped, she should just sit back and enjoy it.


Think you should add a bit more context to his statement. He didn't just say it because he hates women like it sounds.


If someone uses an example like that to illustrate a larger point, I don't have much sympathy for them, to be honest.



Fair enough.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby sloopjohnc » 04 Dec 2017, 22:48

Thang-y wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:I'd hope that someone would wade into such a touchy subject by doing a little homework on the thread. Like I wrote, read the fucking room!

*looks around* .. this is BCB, right?


:lol:

It's a tangled web we weave. . .
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Re: sexual assault

Postby Thang-y » 05 Dec 2017, 09:01

I still want to know why he included the 'virgin' in there.

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Re: sexual assault

Postby Belle Lettre » 05 Dec 2017, 09:06

Well, he'd left home just a week before..
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Re: sexual assault

Postby Jeemo » 05 Dec 2017, 09:20

Belle Lettre wrote:Well, he'd left home just a week before..


to stay with his Gran around the corner.....
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Re: sexual assault

Postby Thang-y » 05 Dec 2017, 09:53

Jeemo wrote:
Belle Lettre wrote:Well, he'd left home just a week before..


to stay with his Gran around the corner.....


Baby steps ..

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Re: sexual assault

Postby sloopjohnc » 05 Dec 2017, 16:24

The newest scandal, in California anyway, is assemblyman, Matt Dababneh, who's accused by a lobbyist of masturbating in front of her and then asking her to touch his genitals.

Two things spring to mind: Did the guy think this approach would actually work?

Doesn't the guy have a mom, sisters, daughters or girl cousins and how would he feel if someone did something like that to them?

Another woman, a former co-worker, said he bragged about his conquests in the office and called her, "Ellen," after Ellen Degeneres, when she wouldn't succumb to his advances.

I sincerely cannot comprehend.

He denies everything, of course.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby never/ever » 05 Dec 2017, 19:15

John Oliver scoring a TKO over Dustin Hoffman at at Q&A-session of Wag the Dog:
http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/mov ... zz1pb.html
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Re: sexual assault

Postby !!VAPRANT!! » 05 Dec 2017, 20:45

never/ever wrote:John Oliver scoring a TKO over Dustin Hoffman at at Q&A-session of Wag the Dog:
http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/mov ... zz1pb.html


I think JO overstepped the mark just a bit there. He’s acutely aware that he’s on the right side of the debate, of course, but being pissy and rude is no way to behave. Even when you’re dealing with someone who might be a sexual predator.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby !!VAPRANT!! » 05 Dec 2017, 20:47

And - arguably - it wasn’t fair that he brought it up.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby The Great Defector » 05 Dec 2017, 21:05

Never liked john oliver, he's smug and self righteous as fuck. He thinks he's the smartest person in the room. He was opportunistic, and was being a dick.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby sloopjohnc » 05 Dec 2017, 21:32

The Great Defector wrote:Never liked john oliver, he's smug and self righteous as fuck. He thinks he's the smartest person in the room. He was opportunistic, and was being a dick.


I don't agree that he thinks he's the smartest guy in the room, but mostly do on the other parts. He can be kinda self righteous like his mentor, Jon Stewart. Does Hoffman deserve public shaming? Maybe, but I think that info gets out there soon enough. Maybe I'm just feeling generous today.

Kinda ironic after he did play Tootsie.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby !!VAPRANT!! » 06 Dec 2017, 00:55

Video footage of part of their dialogue is here

I think Hoffman comes out of it well. But I never know what to think anymore.
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Re: sexual assault

Postby The Great Defector » 06 Dec 2017, 01:01

The Unfragrant Ox wrote:but I never know what to think anymore.


Is that why you start such random shit threads?
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