Would you consider this good writing?

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
User avatar
sloopjohnc
Posts: 60286
Joined: 03 Jun 2004, 20:12
Location: One quake away from beachfront property
Contact:

Would you consider this good writing?

Postby sloopjohnc » 05 Oct 2017, 23:19

From a recent article I read on a sports site. . .

His pristine image was coated in alcohol and tobacco, and he reveled in it. He was inebriated — not by booze, but by a concoction of jubilation and relief. The indignation that had brewed within boiled up into ecstasy. His cup was running over.
Sneelock wrote:You’ll like her better after she dies. Siouxsie won’t ever die. She’s a vampire or some shit.

User avatar
Charlie O.
Posts: 38067
Joined: 21 Jul 2003, 19:53
Location: In-A-Badda-La-Wadda, bay-beh

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Charlie O. » 05 Oct 2017, 23:39

No.
Image

User avatar
pcqgod
Posts: 15835
Joined: 11 Apr 2010, 07:23
Location: Texas

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby pcqgod » 05 Oct 2017, 23:52

A bit on the purple side.
Where would rock 'n' roll be without feedback?

User avatar
Still Baron
Diamond Geezer
Posts: 42073
Joined: 18 Jul 2003, 05:38
Location: Impregnable Citadel of Technicality

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Still Baron » 06 Oct 2017, 01:07

No. I'd consider it silly writing.
take5_d_shorterer wrote:If John Bonham simply didn't listen to enough Tommy Johnson or Blind Willie Mctell, that's his doing.

Positive Passion
Posts: 252
Joined: 05 Jul 2017, 23:05

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Positive Passion » 06 Oct 2017, 05:07

The first two sentences are great. The third sentences needs some other words that "ecstasy " at the end. The real problem is the lazy fourth sentence, using a cliched metaphor. It detracts from the decent stuff preceding it.

User avatar
NMB
Posts: 4538
Joined: 22 Jun 2005, 20:46
Location: Darkest Surrey

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby NMB » 06 Oct 2017, 11:20

If his image was coated then it wasn't pristine, does he mean formerly pristine? And it goes downhill from there.
turn on, tune in, nod off

User avatar
The Unfragrant Ox
hounds people off the board
Posts: 14363
Joined: 24 Apr 2007, 23:21
Location: pursued by the enraged queen

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby The Unfragrant Ox » 06 Oct 2017, 11:46

Not one of mission's better posts
The Modernist wrote:They're just silly ads J. No one's interested.


German Dave wrote:Have a long hard look in the mirror will you, Coan.


Diamond Dog wrote:Fuck off you condescending cunt.

User avatar
Bride Of Sea Of Tunes
Posts: 17552
Joined: 17 Oct 2010, 14:10
Location: The Nether World

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Bride Of Sea Of Tunes » 06 Oct 2017, 12:28

ooooooohhhhh yeah wrote:Not one of mission's better posts


:lol:

BTW it's plainly awful writing.
The invisible and the non-existing very much look alike.

User avatar
sloopjohnc
Posts: 60286
Joined: 03 Jun 2004, 20:12
Location: One quake away from beachfront property
Contact:

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby sloopjohnc » 06 Oct 2017, 16:21

This was in a piece about the Golden State Warriors' two-time MVP, Steph Curry.

I thought it was completely overwrought.

Sometimes you can get away with it in sportswriting, but not this time.
Sneelock wrote:You’ll like her better after she dies. Siouxsie won’t ever die. She’s a vampire or some shit.

User avatar
Nikki Gradual
nasty, brutish and short
Posts: 20549
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 21:59
Location: Marineville

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Nikki Gradual » 06 Oct 2017, 17:27

It's not really writing so much as it is wanking on page.
He's thrown a kettle over a pub; what have you done?"

User avatar
souphound
World Class Ignoramus
Posts: 24538
Joined: 27 Oct 2003, 19:49
Location: Tralfamadore, with Montana Wildhack

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby souphound » 06 Oct 2017, 17:29

I don't like it one bit.
Footy wrote:Last week, I discovered that the cordless drill I bought about 5 years ago is, in fact, a cordless screwdiver.

User avatar
Diamond Dog
"Self Quoter" Extraordinaire.
Posts: 64162
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 21:04
Location: High On Poachers Hill

Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Diamond Dog » 06 Oct 2017, 17:30

From Donald Trump, it would be "War And Peace".
So you're living in Eden where, apples are good
But every narrow miracle, takes place on Earth
Yeah, some militia have arrived and, the percussion has come
And they're pounding out messages loud on the drum