Would you consider this good writing?

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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sloopjohnc
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Would you consider this good writing?

Postby sloopjohnc » 05 Oct 2017, 23:19

From a recent article I read on a sports site. . .

His pristine image was coated in alcohol and tobacco, and he reveled in it. He was inebriated — not by booze, but by a concoction of jubilation and relief. The indignation that had brewed within boiled up into ecstasy. His cup was running over.
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Charlie O.
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Charlie O. » 05 Oct 2017, 23:39

No.
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pcqgod
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby pcqgod » 05 Oct 2017, 23:52

A bit on the purple side.
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby LeBaron » 06 Oct 2017, 01:07

No. I'd consider it silly writing.
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Positive Passion » 06 Oct 2017, 05:07

The first two sentences are great. The third sentences needs some other words that "ecstasy " at the end. The real problem is the lazy fourth sentence, using a cliched metaphor. It detracts from the decent stuff preceding it.

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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby NMB » 06 Oct 2017, 11:20

If his image was coated then it wasn't pristine, does he mean formerly pristine? And it goes downhill from there.
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Bumblecorn Cats Nightmare » 06 Oct 2017, 11:46

Not one of mission's better posts
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Your Friendly Neighbourhood Postman » 06 Oct 2017, 12:28

ooooooohhhhh yeah wrote:Not one of mission's better posts


:lol:

BTW it's plainly awful writing.
On the whole, I'd rather be in Wallenpaupack.

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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby sloopjohnc » 06 Oct 2017, 16:21

This was in a piece about the Golden State Warriors' two-time MVP, Steph Curry.

I thought it was completely overwrought.

Sometimes you can get away with it in sportswriting, but not this time.
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Nikki Gradual » 06 Oct 2017, 17:27

It's not really writing so much as it is wanking on page.
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby souphound » 06 Oct 2017, 17:29

I don't like it one bit.
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Re: Would you consider this good writing?

Postby Diamond Dog » 06 Oct 2017, 17:30

From Donald Trump, it would be "War And Peace".
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