practical jokes

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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sloopjohnc
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Re: practical jokes

Postby sloopjohnc » 29 Sep 2017, 18:07

neville from norwich wrote:Time for a spot of BCB matricide I reckon.


:lol:

Go for it!
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Re: practical jokes

Postby kewl klive » 29 Sep 2017, 18:08

Dogshit in paper bag
Paper bag on doorstep
Set fire to paper bag
Knock on door
Shoot Crossbow bolt through door-openers neck

#classic
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Re: practical jokes

Postby PENK » 29 Sep 2017, 18:20

Pretty much a rite of passage for teenagers, but the only people over the age of 18 who do it are professional footballers.

We used to call up the Yellow Pages and try to place ridiculous ads. Or sign each other up for dating services using preposterous fake identities. You'd get a call saying "hi, is that Terry Choco-Ringe? And you're a 48-year-old airline pilot?" and so on.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Rayge » 29 Sep 2017, 18:43

neville from norwich wrote:Dogshit in paper bag
Paper bag on doorstep
Set fire to paper bag
Knock on door
Shoot Crossbow bolt through door-openers neck

#classic



:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Darryl Strawberry » 29 Sep 2017, 18:46

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Quaco » 29 Sep 2017, 19:15

Most are indeed lame and I never did any kind of elaborate one. Once in a while something really strikes me as funny. When we were staying at Nikki Gradual's place some years ago, his friend, Sledgey, fell asleep sitting there while we were all talking (not surprising really). Somehow we started taking books from the shelf and piling them on him, and it was the funniest thing because the pile got quite high and he never woke up. Physically amusing. There was also a story about a student my parents went to college with in the '50s who used to steal people's dorm-room doors. Something funny about that -- it's not a personal possession, nothing of value really, but yet so essential.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby sloopjohnc » 29 Sep 2017, 19:30

Quaco wrote:Most are indeed lame and I never did any kind of elaborate one. Once in a while something really strikes me as funny. When we were staying at Nikki Gradual's place some years ago, his friend, Sledgey, fell asleep sitting there while we were all talking (not surprising really). Somehow we started taking books from the shelf and piling them on him, and it was the funniest thing because the pile got quite high and he never woke up. Physically amusing.


My friends and I used to do that with the person that passed out first at a party. They'd get covered in beer cans or beer bottles. No one ever wanted to be the first one.

We did have a friend in high school, Ed, who had a cool '60s MG sportscar. He never locked it so in the middle of some really crowded house party, we'd wheel it down a street four or five blocks away so he'd never find it when he'd leave. Or we'd lift it up and put it on the lawn.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby !!VAPRANT!! » 29 Sep 2017, 19:41

The books thing reminds me of a similar simple jest - we'd get into a student's room when they were out, and pile shitloads of books up on their desk, as high as we could go.

When they came back, the funny thing was to see their look of quiet desperation - the sigh - and then the patient returning, one by one, of the books to their rightful place.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 29 Sep 2017, 20:05

Mick Rickenbacker wrote:When they came back, the funny thing was to see their look of quiet desperation -


It's the English way.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Quaco » 29 Sep 2017, 20:05

Plus, books ... I mean, wonderfully safe and collegiate.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Quaco » 29 Sep 2017, 20:05

Harvey K-Tel wrote:
Mick Rickenbacker wrote:When they came back, the funny thing was to see their look of quiet desperation -


It's the English way.

Hang on ...
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Re: practical jokes

Postby !!VAPRANT!! » 29 Sep 2017, 20:29

:)

They'd never ask you to put them back.

People never ask you....
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Minnie the Minx » 29 Sep 2017, 20:34

I feel certain I have already written this before, and to be honest I'm not sure where the fine line is between "things people do to each other when drunk" and "hilarious practical jokes".. but..
Years ago -1988 I think - I was at a rather spirited party in Brighton. I think Moddie may have been there - in fact, he may even have been responsible - I am not sure. Anyway, I had fallen asleep at a party on the floor where I had been very eager to get on intimate terms with a chap called Robin. Robin, I recall, was not interested. I awoke the morning after the party and could see by the clock that it was 8am. My coach back to Bradford, a once-a-day or miss it deal, was due to leave at 9.30. I got my sorry self up, picked up my bag and ran out of the house and down the street.
In those days, my hair was pillarbox red and I had a big nose ring and doc marten boots up to my thighs. I ran down the road, braless, and passers by stopped and stared. Full of punk individualism fury, I glared at them all. Yeah? What? Never seen a punk before? Everyone backed off. I thought my cider breath must have been rank. Got to the bus station, ran into WHSMITH for some chewing gum. Lady behind the counter stared at me wide eyed. Yeah, yeah, I thought. PUNK lady, PUNK.
I got aboard the National Express. Every passenger I passed on my way to the back looked up at me in horror. I felt vindicated in my punk rock lifestyle. You're all TOTAL SQUARES I mouthed very unquietly.

I fell asleep on the back seat till we got to Leicester. I woke up and yawned and went to the lady selling butties at the front and got a cheese and tomato butty. I flirted a bit with the guy in front of me who seemed un-square, but seemed to find me revolting. Right then, I thought. Sod you. The lady handed me my sandwich with a furrowed brow.
In Bradford then, and I had no bus money left so I walked the four miles from the train station to my house. This involved going through an area of a high proportion of people who had moved from Pakistan. I smiled at everyone on the way up what was my usual thoroughfare -my main road if you will - and shopkeepers stared. I resolved to write an angry poem about it, or something.

I got home, busting for a piss. I ran into my bathroom. I snuck a glance of myself in the mirror as I went past. Knickers halfway round my ankles, I stopped still and tracked back and stood in front of the mirror.

As I had laid soused on the floor, someone had taken a marker pen and drawn a huge swastika on my forehead, "cut here" markings around my neck, and a rather impressive penis entering my mouth, complete with anatomically intricate hairs and vasculature, with a speech bubble from the other side of my mouth declaring "yum yum, lovely come!"
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Re: practical jokes

Postby sloopjohnc » 29 Sep 2017, 21:14

HALLELUGAH wrote:I feel certain I have already written this before, and to be honest I'm not sure where the fine line is between "things people do to each other when drunk" and "hilarious practical jokes".. but..
Years ago -1988 I think - I was at a rather spirited party in Brighton. I think Moddie may have been there - in fact, he may even have been responsible - I am not sure. Anyway, I had fallen asleep at a party on the floor where I had been very eager to get on intimate terms with a chap called Robin. Robin, I recall, was not interested. I awoke the morning after the party and could see by the clock that it was 8am. My coach back to Bradford, a once-a-day or miss it deal, was due to leave at 9.30. I got my sorry self up, picked up my bag and ran out of the house and down the street.
In those days, my hair was pillarbox red and I had a big nose ring and doc marten boots up to my thighs. I ran down the road, braless, and passers by stopped and stared. Full of punk individualism fury, I glared at them all. Yeah? What? Never seen a punk before? Everyone backed off. I thought my cider breath must have been rank. Got to the bus station, ran into WHSMITH for some chewing gum. Lady behind the counter stared at me wide eyed. Yeah, yeah, I thought. PUNK lady, PUNK.
I got aboard the National Express. Every passenger I passed on my way to the back looked up at me in horror. I felt vindicated in my punk rock lifestyle. You're all TOTAL SQUARES I mouthed very unquietly.

I fell asleep on the back seat till we got to Leicester. I woke up and yawned and went to the lady selling butties at the front and got a cheese and tomato butty. I flirted a bit with the guy in front of me who seemed un-square, but seemed to find me revolting. Right then, I thought. Sod you. The lady handed me my sandwich with a furrowed brow.
In Bradford then, and I had no bus money left so I walked the four miles from the train station to my house. This involved going through an area of a high proportion of people who had moved from Pakistan. I smiled at everyone on the way up what was my usual thoroughfare -my main road if you will - and shopkeepers stared. I resolved to write an angry poem about it, or something.

I got home, busting for a piss. I ran into my bathroom. I snuck a glance of myself in the mirror as I went past. Knickers halfway round my ankles, I stopped still and tracked back and stood in front of the mirror.

As I had laid soused on the floor, someone had taken a marker pen and drawn a huge swastika on my forehead, "cut here" markings around my neck, and a rather impressive penis entering my mouth, complete with anatomically intricate hairs and vasculature, with a speech bubble from the other side of my mouth declaring "yum yum, lovely come!"


if Geraint is responsible, I will pay his rent for the rest of the year. That's awesome.

I mean, spirited.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Quaco » 29 Sep 2017, 21:26

Or mean spirited!
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Re: practical jokes

Postby sloopjohnc » 29 Sep 2017, 21:49

Quaco wrote:Or mean spirited!


The swastika part was over the top but the other stuff was funny. I like the line around the neck the best.

Mean-spirited is part and parcel of practical jokes, with degrees.

My daughter watched Big Fat Liar, starring Paul Giamatti, with her cousin. In the movie, he plays a producer that steals a movie idea and the kids with the idea dye him red.

My daughter thought it would be funny to dye her cousin's hands purple, and when her cousin fell asleep, dyed her cousin's hands. Her cousin woke up with dye all over herself, including the carpet, which I had to clean up. My niece was a brat, so I didn't mind.

But the joke was pretty good, albeit stolen.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby echolalia » 30 Sep 2017, 15:23

PENK wrote:We used to call up the Yellow Pages and try to place ridiculous ads. Or sign each other up for dating services using preposterous fake identities. You'd get a call saying "hi, is that Terry Choco-Ringe? And you're a 48-year-old airline pilot?" and so on.

Me and my mates had a phase when we’d look in the phonebook for exotic names and call them. Once we found a Gonzalez and we called up and asked to talk to Speedy. The answer was “Speedy’s just gone down to the shops, he’ll be back in 10 minutes,” something like that. People got really spooked sometimes – maybe we inadvertently called a Nazi war criminal or two.

Then we diversified into sending exposé-type letters to the Record Mirror problem page. Things like “I think I may be pregnant. My period is late and my sister Vicky said the same thing happened with her friend Claire and her boyfriend Keith didn't want to know but it finally arrived on her 17th birthday in June when she was on the bus to Dundee but I’m still really worried. Anonymous.” :oops: None ever published of course.

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Re: practical jokes

Postby Fonz » 30 Sep 2017, 17:54

A friend did a poo and put it in some foil, before placing it in the oven with the garlic bread, at a house party.
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Re: practical jokes

Postby sloopjohnc » 30 Sep 2017, 18:09

Fonz wrote:A friend did a poo and put it in some foil, before placing it in the oven with the garlic bread, at a house party.


:?
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Re: practical jokes

Postby Fonz » 30 Sep 2017, 18:35

sloopjohnc wrote:
Fonz wrote:A friend did a poo and put it in some foil, before placing it in the oven with the garlic bread, at a house party.


:?



I know!

What the fuck is funny about that?!
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