Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

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Count Machuki
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Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Count Machuki » 18 Sep 2017, 16:32

It's come to this. Our daughter is two and a half now. I know she has some fans here. What you might NOT know is that she's struggling with the whole pee issue. She'll have three accidents at school sometimes, then be fine the next day. It's embarrassing for her, too, as she's at fancy Montessori school in a mixed classroom with bigger kids, too. She'll kind of splash her pants a bit, realize what she's done, and then run to the potty. Sometime she'll say she doesn't have to go, then get distracted playing and let fly down to her shoes. :(
It's frustrating as hell, not least for her cause she's super on the ball with most everything else.
I hear that girls are usually done potty training by three...our girl was doing great for months and now she seems to have regressed. We get her all fired up in the morning to stay dry...sometimes it works. We tell her to listen to her body. It's still not really doing the trick.

Anyway, any advice from anybody?

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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby The Great Defector » 18 Sep 2017, 17:05

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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Sneelock » 18 Sep 2017, 17:33

first of all, don't worry about it. she'll get it. she is by NO means the only kid that age to still be dealing with this. it's hard to explain bladder control to somebody. I think it makes sense to discuss holding in the breath when it's time to do your stuff but I don't think it's ever been helpful to anybody. it'll come to her and all at once. hang in there.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby toomanyhatz » 18 Sep 2017, 17:56

Having no experience parenting whatsoever my instinct was what Snee just said. Much easier to make too much of it than not enough. If she thinks of it as a huge issue she'll be worried about it and then will start listening to her worries as opposed to being in tune with her body, which is counter-productive. This is a completely unlearned response on something I have no experience with so make of it what you will, but I think Snee is right. Just know that it's temporary, and treat it that way.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 18 Sep 2017, 18:02

Get her a mop.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Belle Lettre » 18 Sep 2017, 18:41

toomanyhatz wrote:Having no experience parenting whatsoever my instinct was what Snee just said. Much easier to make too much of it than not enough. If she thinks of it as a huge issue she'll be worried about it and then will start listening to her worries as opposed to being in tune with her body, which is counter-productive. This is a completely unlearned response on something I have no experience with so make of it what you will, but I think Snee is right. Just know that it's temporary, and treat it that way.

This, and just make sure she goes to the toilet before you take her to nursery. And not too big a drink at breakfast.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Count Machuki » 18 Sep 2017, 19:06

Thanks, snee. I fear we are kind of making too big a deal about it at home. She's so apologetic when it happens, poor thing.
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Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Count Machuki » 18 Sep 2017, 19:07

Harvey K-Tel wrote:Get her a mop.


She just got her own broom and dustpan. She's so into it. She sweeps and dances and sings Sorcerer's Apprentice and alternately pretends to be either Mickey or a broom.
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Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby quix » 18 Sep 2017, 19:22

I've got two children so I have a little experience...

Two and a half is no age at all. She's still a baby really. I know the books say three but that's nonsense.

Just try to relax about it. It might take her a while to really fully master the whole thing. You'll know when she's really ready and it's not something you can really rush. They really are all different.

My son was just lazy. I knew he was ready but it was easier to just go in his nappy so he refused to stop wearing them for ages. In the end I got fed up and took him to a toy shop and let him chose a toy which he could have if he stopped wearing nappies and used a toilet. When we got home with his new dumper (ironic huh ;) ) the realisation of having to give up the nappies hit him and there were a few days of screaming and crying and eventually he just gave up the nappies so he could have his dumper. But the point is I knew he was ready. He just needed a push.

My daughter got the hang of weeing and pooing really quickly aged about three but would NOT do it directly in to the toilet. She would sit on the loo in her nappy and go in her nappy. I think she was afraid. Maybe it was the sensation of not having the security of that cosy nappy. She was younger one so I tried all sorts of things... my son would demonstrate how to poo in the toilet and she'd watch it being flushed away... then she'd say that she'd definitely do that... next time. It was always next time. But next time never seemed to come. In the end I just left it and trusted that she wouldn't always be weeing and pooing in her nappy on the loo and low and behold one day over breakfast she announced that today was the day she was going to poo like her brother, straight in the loo. And she did.

My friend's daughter wouldn't give up nappies for pooing until she was seven.

They're all different. Trust your instincts and trust that your daughter will get there eventually.. in her own way in her own time. And if not. Buy her a dumper. :D

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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby quix » 18 Sep 2017, 20:04

Another thing is to consider going back to nappies for a bit or pull ups.. she if wants to. She might like the idea... take the heat off it for a while. Also making a little joke out of it if she apologises... it's only wee wee! Wee on your shoes... that's alright... it's only wee wee!

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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Jeemo » 18 Sep 2017, 22:34

Was going to say try pull ups as well, don't make a big fuss of any failures but make a big fuss of any success no matter how small.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Toby » 18 Sep 2017, 22:36

We used chocolate buttons as a prize for whenever he used the potty. The whole process took about a month and a bit and there were accidents, as there are now from time to time, but it worked.

As others have said, 2 1/2 is no age so don't get worked up about it.

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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Jeemo » 18 Sep 2017, 22:43

On a side note as a result of lifting the wee guy to the toilet last thing at night when he was out of nappies. I ended up straining every ligament in my right ankle, which resulted in me eating pain killers by the bucket load and undergoing radiotherapy in the hospital for months.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby sloopjohnc » 18 Sep 2017, 22:44

She's fine. Most pre-schools don't let in kids earlier than three because of this reason. Sounds like she's right on schedule and will catch on more consistently soon enough.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby sloopjohnc » 18 Sep 2017, 22:44

Jeemo wrote:Was going to say try pull ups as well, don't make a big fuss of any failures but make a big fuss of any success no matter how small.


Ditto.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Count Machuki » 19 Sep 2017, 14:30

Some good stuff here...thanks quix esp

Dry day yesterday! We made a big deal about it. And I spoke to my wife about trying not to make as big of a fuss when accidents do happen.

Poor kid - the will is there!
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Then it follows that ∀ k ∈ K: K ∈ U ⇒ k ∉ D

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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Snarfyguy » 19 Sep 2017, 14:58

Hang in there - the important thing is to let her preschool teachers do the actual toilet training, as opposed to you and the Contessa. :D
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Count Machuki » 19 Sep 2017, 15:02

Snarfyguy wrote:Hang in there - the important thing is to let her preschool teachers do the actual toilet training, as opposed to you and the Contessa. :D


:D

Now we're talking! Actually, thing is they're pretty sniffy about it. I mean, they're the ones who promoted her to Primary at two and a half, so I guess it's on them to deal, but it just feels a little more crucial at her school than it might at a day care where there are dozens of other incontinent little kids.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby Belle Lettre » 19 Sep 2017, 16:36

She's a fabulous child and will be fine x I'd forgotten about pull-ups! My son did well with them.
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Re: Your Potty Training Advice, please (asking for a friend)

Postby fange » 19 Sep 2017, 17:05

Yep, another vote for "she will be fine, mate, don't sweat it".

She is still so young, and obviously getting the message as she's having dry days, so as others have mentioned it's just a case of doing what you can as parents (watching her liquid intake, taking her to the toilet more often just in case, asking her teacher to do the same, etc) and giving lots of praise for successes. We went through it with my younger lass, who was having similar issues, and it worked out it the end!
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