White Lies - BUSTED!

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Jimbo
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White Lies - BUSTED!

Postby Jimbo » 13 Sep 2017, 16:42

I do tell a lot of little lies. especially to my wife. I'm guessing you do too. Usually I lie to avoid an argument and to cover up just how lazy I am. Tonight I was making dinner and that meant making rice. When Japanese make rice they always always always ALWAYS wash the rice before cooking. It isn't hard really. Dump a cup of rice in the pot, add some cold water to the pot, swish the rice around in the water and then dump out the "dirty," milky colored water. Repeat twice and then add the correct amount of water and cook. Lately, however, since I'm home doing the cooking I have not been washing the rice and it has tasted fine. But tonight … BUSTED! My wife gets home and she is scooping out the rice and I hear, "Did you wash the rice?"

"Yeah," I lie looking straight at her over by the rice cooker. Meanwhile my mouth for some goddamn reason wants to smile. It's a natural lie detector.

"Did you really?" she says and out bursts the full shit eating grin and I cave.

"No." I say, feeling doubly dumb for lying and for getting caught in the lie. "How did you know?"

"The rice is yellower than usual."

"But it tastes the same, doesn't it … darling."

She ate the rice so it wasn't that bad I guess. :oops:
Gadfly

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Dr Markus
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Re: White Lies - BUSTED!

Postby Dr Markus » 13 Sep 2017, 18:35

Why did you have to put "White" in front of it? Why not just "lies", tut, :roll:
Drama Queenie wrote:You are a chauvinist of the quaintest kind. About as threatening as Jack Duckworth, you are a harmless relic of that cherished era when things were 'different'. Now get back to drawing a moustache on that page three model

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quix
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Re: White Lies - BUSTED!

Postby quix » 13 Sep 2017, 20:53

I once told a little lie at work to a new boss which backfired on me...

It was her first day at work (I wasn't expecting her to start that day) and she wanted to meet me at lunch time to go over her plans for my department but I'd already booked an appointment to get my hair cut, so I said I couldn't make it as I had a meeting planned. I didn't want to say I was going to get my hair cut as it sounded a bit flakey and rude but I didn't want to cancel It either.

So we agreed to meet the next day instead and I assumed she was leaving as she didn't work on the site where I worked.

But when I got back from my lunch with obviously shorter hair she was still there :oops:

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sloopjohnc
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Re: White Lies - BUSTED!

Postby sloopjohnc » 13 Sep 2017, 21:22

The secret of a good lie is keeping it simple. I'm a good liar. I'll give you an example of a fictitious discussion I might have had with my wife.

Wife: Did you do ___________?

Me: Yeah.

Wife: What happened or where is ______________?

Me: I put it in the garage. They're emailing it. (or some other vague answer).

Wife: What about _______? Did you do that too?

Me: Took care of it. I'll check back in a couple days/little while and let you know.

Never sound defensive. Never expand when not required, and exude an air of confidence.
OCT wrote:Roger Waters is a cunt and his music is fucking shit.

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Jimbo
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Re: White Lies - BUSTED!

Postby Jimbo » 13 Sep 2017, 22:16

sloopjohnc wrote:The secret of a good lie is keeping it simple. I'm a good liar. I'll give you an example of a fictitious discussion I might have had with my wife.

Wife: Did you do ___________?

Me: Yeah.

Wife: What happened or where is ______________?

Me: I put it in the garage. They're emailing it. (or some other vague answer).

Wife: What about _______? Did you do that too?

Me: Took care of it. I'll check back in a couple days/little while and let you know.

Never sound defensive. Never expand when not required, and exude an air of confidence.


I'd be biting my cheek insides to keep from smiling. You don't get that? It's been a "tell" of mine since childhood. Mom: Did you do your homework? Me: Yeah. Mom: What's so funny? Me: Nuthin'

That is why I am finding this so interesting today. That same stupid smile came up when asked about the rice.
Gadfly

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sloopjohnc
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Re: White Lies - BUSTED!

Postby sloopjohnc » 13 Sep 2017, 23:37

Jimbo wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:The secret of a good lie is keeping it simple. I'm a good liar. I'll give you an example of a fictitious discussion I might have had with my wife.

Wife: Did you do ___________?

Me: Yeah.

Wife: What happened or where is ______________?

Me: I put it in the garage. They're emailing it. (or some other vague answer).

Wife: What about _______? Did you do that too?

Me: Took care of it. I'll check back in a couple days/little while and let you know.

Never sound defensive. Never expand when not required, and exude an air of confidence.


I'd be biting my cheek insides to keep from smiling. You don't get that? It's been a "tell" of mine since childhood. Mom: Did you do your homework? Me: Yeah. Mom: What's so funny? Me: Nuthin'

That is why I am finding this so interesting today. That same stupid smile came up when asked about the rice.


I can keep a very good casual straight face.
OCT wrote:Roger Waters is a cunt and his music is fucking shit.

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Snarfyguy
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Re: White Lies - BUSTED!

Postby Snarfyguy » 14 Sep 2017, 04:49

The Great Defector wrote:Why did you have to put "White" in front of it? Why not just "lies" "rice," tut, :roll:


Fixed that for you.
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Dr Markus
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Re: White Lies - BUSTED!

Postby Dr Markus » 14 Sep 2017, 12:13

Snarfyguy wrote:
The Great Defector wrote:Why did you have to put "White" in front of it? Why not just "lies" "rice," tut, :roll:


Fixed that for you.


Thanks?
Drama Queenie wrote:You are a chauvinist of the quaintest kind. About as threatening as Jack Duckworth, you are a harmless relic of that cherished era when things were 'different'. Now get back to drawing a moustache on that page three model