How sexist are you?

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Diamond Dog » 02 Sep 2017, 09:49

neville harp wrote:Feminism as a vehicle to call women cunts.



What you get up to in your private life is no concern of mine, Neville.

Good to see the A-Team are out in force this morning.

Rallying pm must have been sent.

Twats. :D
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Deebank » 02 Sep 2017, 10:53

How does the 'Your latest crush' thread fit into all this? Surely it represents the kind of objectification that has been condemned here?

Genuine question...
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby The Red Heifer » 02 Sep 2017, 11:00

Jeemo wrote:
Toby wrote:
hippopotamus wrote:
The other confusion that comes from societal norms that are very difficult to break or undermine. I've had female superiours at work saying that it's right that only a woman get maternity leave, because men can't have the same relationship with their baby. I think that's absolutely bollocks. But, it's the assumption made by most institutions.

.


I've experienced sexism as a primary caregiver a little - nothing much to upset me, but enough to see how an ingrained attitude reinforced by institutional thought can be distressing.



Tell me about it, I was the first main male Foster Carer in my local authority. I was picking up kids from nursery and parked in the nursery car park. As I locked the car a woman started shouting at me. Telling me that I couldn't park there as this was a car park for the nursery. I told I was aware it was for the nursery and kept walking towards the nursery. She continued to shout at me and followed me to the nursery door. When I told her I was picking up children she was apoplectic with rage and told me I was lying. I told her to come on in and meet the kids I was picking up. She wasn't happy that I was actually doing what I had said I was doing, and for the next few weeks she saw me every day in the car park, picking up kids the same time as she was. I used to give her a wee wave.

Asumptions are made that I'm just looking after kids to give my wife a break, that I don't know one end of a baby from the other and generally don't know anything about children.


To be honest I'm looking forward to the first dickhead trying to have a shot at me for taking my daughter into a Parents Room to change her. A lot of reports about dads getting chewed out by one or two mothers around here for doing some parenting.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby sloopjohnc » 02 Sep 2017, 15:44

Deebank wrote:How does the 'Your latest crush' thread fit into all this? Surely it represents the kind of objectification that has been condemned here?

Genuine question...


I was thinking the same thing, especially since most of the women pictured could be our daughters' ages.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Bumblecorn Cats Nightmare » 02 Sep 2017, 16:30

"objectification"

"sexist"

Might be an idea to define these terms before we go any further.

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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Deebank » 02 Sep 2017, 16:48

Hodgson wrote:"objectification"

"sexist"

Might be an idea to define these terms before we go any further.

Woof Woof?


Well 'objectification', the women pictured are there for their looks and nothing else on the whole.

... being drooled over by a bunch of old codgers.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Fonz » 02 Sep 2017, 18:25

Darkness_Fish wrote:
hippopotamus wrote:So, I don't think making a joke can be regarded as sexist.

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;-)



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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Samoan » 02 Sep 2017, 19:56

Toby wrote:I have a friend whose relationships tend to be where he couches himself as a "white knight saving the day". He does things for his girlfriend all the time and inevitably the relationship fails because he doesn't recognise that he is positioning himself as "superior" or at least that "women need to be protected". It's a sort of unintentional sexism.

It happens.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby toomanyhatz » 02 Sep 2017, 20:25

Deebank wrote:
Hodgson wrote:"objectification"

"sexist"

Might be an idea to define these terms before we go any further.

Woof Woof?


Well 'objectification', the women pictured are there for their looks and nothing else on the whole.

... being drooled over by a bunch of old codgers.


Sexist would be if you focused exclusively on that part of a woman's character and didn't acknowledge her as an individual beyond that. I think we all objectify. Before you meet someone their appearance is your only way of judging them.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby quix » 02 Sep 2017, 21:40

Slightly off topic but I wonder if any of the men on here think they have ever benefited from sexism?

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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Darkness_Fish » 02 Sep 2017, 21:46

quix wrote:Slightly off topic but I wonder if any of the men on here think they have ever benefited from sexism?

Only in the fact that I enjoy drooling over pictures of naked women.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby sloopjohnc » 02 Sep 2017, 22:11

quix wrote:Slightly off topic but I wonder if any of the men on here think they have ever benefited from sexism?


How do you mean?
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby never/ever » 02 Sep 2017, 22:26

quix wrote:Slightly off topic but I wonder if any of the men on here think they have ever benefited from sexism?


Trump becoming being buddy buddy with that douchebag during the 'grab them by the pussy'-stunt would be a good example.
I have met bosses who had no problem throwing in sexist remarks in a group of men to create a bit of a boys club-atmosphere and certain guys who would normally object find themselves reciprocating in the same way to please...
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby quix » 02 Sep 2017, 23:31

sloopjohnc wrote:
quix wrote:Slightly off topic but I wonder if any of the men on here think they have ever benefited from sexism?


How do you mean?


You got a promotion over a female colleague because your boss was a man, you got a good discount on a car because you asked for one, you were praised by your male boss when you did a good job and he didn't send you kisses at the end of the email, in a mixed gender group at work you weren't asked to take the minutes at a meeting because the minute taker (female) was on leave, you got/get paid more than female colleagues who do the same job as you, you don't worry too much about walking home/to your car in the dark on a quiet street, when your babies cried in the night you slept in the spare room so you were fresh for work the next day, you get a cheaper hair cut at exactly the same salon your wife/gf/daughter goes to, your male teacher at school picked you to answer questions in a science class when you put your hand up and you stood in the front at the table when when he did experiments so you could see and hear better...

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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby toomanyhatz » 02 Sep 2017, 23:40

I suspect I have had an easier time making money as a musician due to my gender compared to my wife who is a superior musician.

I like to think of myself as not being sexist as I've been in a lot of work places and bands led by females, but that may also be from a place of privilege as, why should that be unusual or worthy of note?
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby sloopjohnc » 03 Sep 2017, 16:29

quix wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:
quix wrote:Slightly off topic but I wonder if any of the men on here think they have ever benefited from sexism?


How do you mean?


You got a promotion over a female colleague because your boss was a man, you got a good discount on a car because you asked for one, you were praised by your male boss when you did a good job and he didn't send you kisses at the end of the email, in a mixed gender group at work you weren't asked to take the minutes at a meeting because the minute taker (female) was on leave, you got/get paid more than female colleagues who do the same job as you, you don't worry too much about walking home/to your car in the dark on a quiet street, when your babies cried in the night you slept in the spare room so you were fresh for work the next day, you get a cheaper hair cut at exactly the same salon your wife/gf/daughter goes to, your male teacher at school picked you to answer questions in a science class when you put your hand up and you stood in the front at the table when when he did experiments so you could see and hear better...


:lol:

Well, I thought you might be referring to just one example.

All the above piss off my ex. Especially the clothes and haircuts.

She would also tell me that she'd have an idea in a meeting and in the same meeting or one later, a guy would make the same suggestion and everyone would love it. That used to really gall her.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Davey the Fat Boy » 03 Sep 2017, 16:48

If you asked me earlier in life I'd have given myself credit for all of my good intentions and said that I was the furthest thing possible from racist and/or sexist.

The older version of me understands that I operate from all sorts of assumptions about the world that uphold an unfair social hierarchy.

The best claim I can make for myself now is that I'm willing to have my assumptions, words and actions questioned - and that I'll make an effort to not be defensive about it.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Moleskin » 03 Sep 2017, 17:44

We passed a unisex hairdresser in Yeovil yesterday that had a single price (£11) for everything, from a cut to a full colour change.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby Fonz » 03 Sep 2017, 19:04

quix wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:
quix wrote:Slightly off topic but I wonder if any of the men on here think they have ever benefited from sexism?


How do you mean?


You got a promotion over a female colleague because your boss was a man, you got a good discount on a car because you asked for one, you were praised by your male boss when you did a good job and he didn't send you kisses at the end of the email, in a mixed gender group at work you weren't asked to take the minutes at a meeting because the minute taker (female) was on leave, you got/get paid more than female colleagues who do the same job as you, you don't worry too much about walking home/to your car in the dark on a quiet street, when your babies cried in the night you slept in the spare room so you were fresh for work the next day, you get a cheaper hair cut at exactly the same salon your wife/gf/daughter goes to, your male teacher at school picked you to answer questions in a science class when you put your hand up and you stood in the front at the table when when he did experiments so you could see and hear better...



The majority of those things don't seem like great examples to me.
I mean, my wife is better at asking for discounts, I can't remember the last tim - female took minutes( despite an equal gender-mix), I get paid the same as female colleagues, I was the one doing the middle-of -the night nappy changes, my wife's hair takes longer to cut and mess around with, and the enthusiastic kids stood at the front during 'experiments'.
I know that reflects MY experiences, but your list seems pretty specific.
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Re: How sexist are you?

Postby quix » 03 Sep 2017, 20:21

Fonz wrote:
quix wrote:
sloopjohnc wrote:
How do you mean?


You got a promotion over a female colleague because your boss was a man, you got a good discount on a car because you asked for one, you were praised by your male boss when you did a good job and he didn't send you kisses at the end of the email, in a mixed gender group at work you weren't asked to take the minutes at a meeting because the minute taker (female) was on leave, you got/get paid more than female colleagues who do the same job as you, you don't worry too much about walking home/to your car in the dark on a quiet street, when your babies cried in the night you slept in the spare room so you were fresh for work the next day, you get a cheaper hair cut at exactly the same salon your wife/gf/daughter goes to, your male teacher at school picked you to answer questions in a science class when you put your hand up and you stood in the front at the table when when he did experiments so you could see and hear better...



The majority of those things don't seem like great examples to me.
I mean, my wife is better at asking for discounts, I can't remember the last tim - female took minutes( despite an equal gender-mix), I get paid the same as female colleagues, I was the one doing the middle-of -the night nappy changes, my wife's hair takes longer to cut and mess around with, and the enthusiastic kids stood at the front during 'experiments'.
I know that reflects MY experiences, but your list seems pretty specific.


They're just some examples. Some I've encountered personally e.g. being asked to take minutes because I'm the only woman round the meeting table, finding out a couple of male colleagues doing the same job were earning more (even after I'd asked for a raise).