Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
User avatar
PresMuffley
Posts: 560
Joined: 06 Feb 2017, 12:00

Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby PresMuffley » 08 Mar 2017, 17:22

STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

User avatar
Minnie the Minx
funky thigh collector
Posts: 27568
Joined: 29 Dec 2006, 16:00
Location: In the naughty North and in the sexy South

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Minnie the Minx » 08 Mar 2017, 21:50

What, nobody? WELL. I suppose I'll go first.

No, I haven't refused. As a matter of fact, this month's flow has been quite astonishing. Shit, muffers, you know how it goes, right? One month light, one month torrential downpour.

Monday we kicked off. Quite unexpectedly as it goes: Clambered out of bed and the old atomic balls of blood starting hurtling towards the bathroom floor before I had even managed to squat for a piss. I put my hands on my hips and scowled.

"SRSLY?" I looked out the bathroom door where husband stood, cup of tea in one hand and phone in the other.
He gazed at the scarlet onslaught, and screwed his eyes in sweet unison with mine.
"SRSLY?" he said. "RIGHT?" I said. Sighing, I went about the business of mopping up the gloopy piles assembling round the floor. I know better than to leave them; our cats are not discerning and readily lick their mother's evacuated womb contents.

Then the question: what size sanitary protection? hum tee tum. Am I a MODERATE or a LIGHT or a der-der-der- HEAVY? Well, let's take one of each. Don't want to bleed all over the car.

Now we are on Wednesday. It's trailing off a bit, but I misfired with my calculations on the old PROTECTION front and that's a couple of pairs of knickers for the wash. Today it's all a bit claggy, like phlegm after a heavy cold. I'm hoping nothing happened on the old sheet front last night. My eco-friendly laundry soap may not have been rubbed in the eyes of spaniels, but it is all but bollock hopeless at removing bodily fluids from bedding.

By Friday, all should have disappeared.

Hope this helps!
You come at the Queen, you best not miss.

Dr Markus wrote:
Someone in your line of work usually as their own man cave aka the shed we're they can potter around fixing stuff or something don't they?

User avatar
Belle Lettre
Éminence grise
Posts: 14433
Joined: 09 Oct 2008, 07:16
Location: Antiterra

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Belle Lettre » 08 Mar 2017, 22:24

I'm perimenopausal. A born rebel, don't you know.
Nikki Gradual wrote:
Get a fucking grip you narcissistic cretins.

User avatar
Pat O'Banton
Utter Cad
Posts: 49665
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 21:22
Location: 16 Beasley Street

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Pat O'Banton » 08 Mar 2017, 22:28

PresMuffley wrote:STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!


Wow.
Nikki Gradual wrote:Of all the serial paedophiles I have probably met, Rolf was undoubtedly the nicest.


User avatar
Goat Boy
Bogarting the joint
Posts: 28008
Joined: 20 Mar 2007, 12:11
Location: In the perfumed garden

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Goat Boy » 08 Mar 2017, 22:39

The Twat Patrol wrote:What, nobody? WELL. I suppose I'll go first.

No, I haven't refused. As a matter of fact, this month's flow has been quite astonishing. Shit, muffers, you know how it goes, right? One month light, one month torrential downpour.

Monday we kicked off. Quite unexpectedly as it goes: Clambered out of bed and the old atomic balls of blood starting hurtling towards the bathroom floor before I had even managed to squat for a piss. I put my hands on my hips and scowled.

"SRSLY?" I looked out the bathroom door where husband stood, cup of tea in one hand and phone in the other.
He gazed at the scarlet onslaught, and screwed his eyes in sweet unison with mine.
"SRSLY?" he said. "RIGHT?" I said. Sighing, I went about the business of mopping up the gloopy piles assembling round the floor. I know better than to leave them; our cats are not discerning and readily lick their mother's evacuated womb contents.

Then the question: what size sanitary protection? hum tee tum. Am I a MODERATE or a LIGHT or a der-der-der- HEAVY? Well, let's take one of each. Don't want to bleed all over the car.

Now we are on Wednesday. It's trailing off a bit, but I misfired with my calculations on the old PROTECTION front and that's a couple of pairs of knickers for the wash. Today it's all a bit claggy, like phlegm after a heavy cold. I'm hoping nothing happened on the old sheet front last night. My eco-friendly laundry soap may not have been rubbed in the eyes of spaniels, but it is all but bollock hopeless at removing bodily fluids from bedding.

By Friday, all should have disappeared.

Hope this helps!


That could have been a cracking facebook Live stream
Foxhound wrote:After all, I very clearly remember that growing up as a young white male offered me no advantages at all.



Jimbo wrote:I am not endorsing Hitler

User avatar
Minnie the Minx
funky thigh collector
Posts: 27568
Joined: 29 Dec 2006, 16:00
Location: In the naughty North and in the sexy South

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Minnie the Minx » 09 Mar 2017, 00:01

It's fecking streaming already
KNOWORRIMEAN
You come at the Queen, you best not miss.

Dr Markus wrote:
Someone in your line of work usually as their own man cave aka the shed we're they can potter around fixing stuff or something don't they?

User avatar
Jimbo
Posts: 12969
Joined: 26 Dec 2009, 21:22

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Jimbo » 09 Mar 2017, 00:12

When I was a little boy, because Kotex used to come boxed wrapped up like a pretty present I was jealous of my sisters' monthly gift.
I love you.

User avatar
PresMuffley
Posts: 560
Joined: 06 Feb 2017, 12:00

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby PresMuffley » 09 Mar 2017, 01:37

The Twat Patrol wrote:My eco-friendly laundry soap may not have been rubbed in the eyes of spaniels, but it is all but bollock hopeless at removing bodily fluids from bedding.


Brilliant. Very funny all around. You may call me 'Muffers' anytime.
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

User avatar
Fonz
Posts: 2829
Joined: 17 Feb 2014, 14:10
Location: Nevermore

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Fonz » 09 Mar 2017, 06:36

The Twat Patrol wrote:What, nobody? WELL. I suppose I'll go first.

No, I haven't refused. As a matter of fact, this month's flow has been quite astonishing. Shit, muffers, you know how it goes, right? One month light, one month torrential downpour.

Monday we kicked off. Quite unexpectedly as it goes: Clambered out of bed and the old atomic balls of blood starting hurtling towards the bathroom floor before I had even managed to squat for a piss. I put my hands on my hips and scowled.

"SRSLY?" I looked out the bathroom door where husband stood, cup of tea in one hand and phone in the other.
He gazed at the scarlet onslaught, and screwed his eyes in sweet unison with mine.
"SRSLY?" he said. "RIGHT?" I said. Sighing, I went about the business of mopping up the gloopy piles assembling round the floor. I know better than to leave them; our cats are not discerning and readily lick their mother's evacuated womb contents.

Then the question: what size sanitary protection? hum tee tum. Am I a MODERATE or a LIGHT or a der-der-der- HEAVY? Well, let's take one of each. Don't want to bleed all over the car.

Now we are on Wednesday. It's trailing off a bit, but I misfired with my calculations on the old PROTECTION front and that's a couple of pairs of knickers for the wash. Today it's all a bit claggy, like phlegm after a heavy cold. I'm hoping nothing happened on the old sheet front last night. My eco-friendly laundry soap may not have been rubbed in the eyes of spaniels, but it is all but bollock hopeless at removing bodily fluids from bedding.

By Friday, all should have disappeared.

Hope this helps!



I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.
Heyyyy!

"Fonz clearly has no fucks to give. I like the cut of his Cupicidal gib."

User avatar
fueryIre
Posts: 8143
Joined: 04 May 2011, 02:57
Location: the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between th

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby fueryIre » 09 Mar 2017, 08:23

The Twat Patrol wrote:
...scarlet....




It's always a rather fetching shade of blue in the TV commercials...
Image

User avatar
Polishgirl
Posts: 8473
Joined: 21 Dec 2009, 22:06

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Polishgirl » 09 Mar 2017, 09:13

Sorry to learn of Anna's menstrual woes.

I find that during my period, I am, miraculously, suddenly able to roller skate, sky dive, and DJ in front of massive outdoor raves, all whilst wearing skimpy white shorts. Monthlies are terrific!
echolalia wrote: I despise Prefab Sprout. It will be decades before “hot dog, jumping frog, Albuquerque” is surpassed as the most terrible lyric in pop history. That fucking bastard ruined all three things for me forever.

User avatar
Phil T
Now, with reduced fat!!
Posts: 30732
Joined: 07 Nov 2003, 21:58
Location: Devon

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Phil T » 09 Mar 2017, 09:27

Polishgirl wrote:Sorry to learn of Anna's menstrual woes.

I find that during my period, I am, miraculously, suddenly able to roller skate, sky dive, and DJ in front of massive outdoor raves, all whilst wearing skimpy white shorts. Monthlies are terrific!


Do the cats pull you along when you're on the roller skates?
I know it should be a dog, but needs must, etc.

Hugh
Posts: 14959
Joined: 16 Jul 2003, 20:43

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Hugh » 09 Mar 2017, 12:29

Fonz wrote:
I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.


Shut up and get back in the kitchen.

User avatar
Phil T
Now, with reduced fat!!
Posts: 30732
Joined: 07 Nov 2003, 21:58
Location: Devon

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Phil T » 09 Mar 2017, 13:08

Hugh wrote:
Fonz wrote:
I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.


Shut up and get back in the kitchen.


Mine's a cuppa love, quick as you like...

User avatar
fueryIre
Posts: 8143
Joined: 04 May 2011, 02:57
Location: the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between th

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby fueryIre » 09 Mar 2017, 13:09

Hugh wrote:
Fonz wrote:
I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.


Shut up and get back in the kitchen.


The cleaning's still not finished yet! And just look at the size of that pile of ironing!
Image

User avatar
Phil T
Now, with reduced fat!!
Posts: 30732
Joined: 07 Nov 2003, 21:58
Location: Devon

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Phil T » 09 Mar 2017, 13:20

fueryIre wrote:
Hugh wrote:
Fonz wrote:
I was going to 'identify' as a real woman until I read that.

I don't think I'll bother. You've put me right off.


Shut up and get back in the kitchen.


The cleaning's still not finished yet! And just look at the size of that pile of ironing!


An' you 'aven't 'alf let yerself go darlin'.

User avatar
fueryIre
Posts: 8143
Joined: 04 May 2011, 02:57
Location: the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between th

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby fueryIre » 09 Mar 2017, 13:39

Phil T wrote:
fueryIre wrote:
Hugh wrote:
Shut up and get back in the kitchen.


The cleaning's still not finished yet! And just look at the size of that pile of ironing!


An' you 'aven't 'alf let yerself go darlin'.


At least you got a cup of rosi-lee out of the old boiler..
Image

User avatar
Phil T
Now, with reduced fat!!
Posts: 30732
Joined: 07 Nov 2003, 21:58
Location: Devon

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby Phil T » 09 Mar 2017, 13:44

Cushti!

User avatar
martha
rambling rose
Posts: 5079
Joined: 17 Jul 2003, 17:41
Location: Self-imposed exile.

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby martha » 10 Mar 2017, 06:16

Mine were severe enough to mandate hysterectomy and bilateral salpingectomy in December. So I'm not refusing to menstruate, no.
--m.

BCB CUP 2017 is on!
viewforum.php?f=58

User avatar
PresMuffley
Posts: 560
Joined: 06 Feb 2017, 12:00

Re: Any of you ladies refusing to menstruate today?

Postby PresMuffley » 10 Mar 2017, 17:08

I haven't a clue what a bilateral salpingectomy is but is certainly doesn't sound fun. Going under the knife is terrifying. I hope you're feeling better.
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.


Return to “Nextdoorland”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: toomanyhatz and 3 guests