Black Cat Bone

Were you dreaming you were English?

This morning I had a dream I was having sex with Jack Kerouac in a fridge, except he looked like Chucky the doll and had a large imitation phallus. When it was all over he crawled into the cheese drawer and fell asleep.

A couple nights ago I had a dream where I had driven to a central California beach town with one of my oldest and best friends for some kind of reception after traveling the state. There, we met a young blonde woman who was in charge of the event. Since the event wasn't until nighttime and it was afternoon and our hotel wasn't ready, we took a walk and ended up near some railroad tracks.

As we were walking along the tracks, we saw two little tiger cubs and figured the mother was nearby and we got scared. We turned into a street that met the railroad tracks and saw the adult mother tiger, who raised her head, saw us, didn't see her cubs so she began slowly walking towards us. We decided to run back to the reception hall and the cubs began running after us, playing. The mother tiger began chasing us, to protect her cubs. My friend and the young reception manager were much faster than me and they wouldn't come back to help me as the mother tiger kept getting closer.

Then I woke up.

I got the part of Arnold Schwarzenegger in a movie and all I was worried about was whether I could do the accent right.

pcqgod wrote:I got the part of Arnold Schwarzenegger in a movie and all I was worried about was whether I could do the accent right.

This weekend, my new stationary bike came because the old one crapped out. I also shot around at a local outside court which might explain the weird dream I had last night.

I was a teenager again or in my mid 20s and my parents had rented a house not unlike the neighborhoods where I grew up. I lived in a little in-law unit with a bed, stationary bike and TV and was riding the stationary bike, but people kept moving it and I had to bring it back.

My brother made friends with a local guy who had a motorcycle and I'd skateboard while he rode around. Then all of a sudden, he morphed into an old friend, who was also younger and he told me he had early onset Alzheimer's so I convinced our family to buy him a dog for some reason.

I woke up after I was biking up a steep hill and dropped my basketball and rolled down the street and I had to chase it down.

My family and I became increasingly convinced that we had someone living in our house - hiding in the attic and various cupboards. I was sure that our uninvited guest was John Coan but I can't remember what my evidence for that was.

We prepared ourselves to confront him via a coordinated opening of the attic and cupboards but for some reason this never happened so I still don't know who our mystery guest actually was.

Hugh wrote:My family and I became increasingly convinced that we had someone living in our house - hiding in the attic and various cupboards. I was sure that our uninvited guest was John Coan but I can't remember what my evidence for that was.

We prepared ourselves to confront him via a coordinated opening of the attic and cupboards but for some reason this never happened so I still don't know who our mystery guest actually was.

You'd know it was Coan if you woke up in the morning and the kitchen sink was full of dishes.

And he never leaves. . .

I had a frightening and disturbing dream last night. I and several friends/acquaintances were apparently on vacation in some Latin American nation that was in the middle of a violent anti-government revolution. We were approached by revolutionary soldiers and pretended to be citizens minding their own business but were accosted and interrogated, one by one. A revolutionary walked up to me with a rifle and asked me what I thought of the government. I said I was a foreigner and didn't want to get involved. Finally, pressed to respond, I admitted that I didn't like the repressive regime and the soldier was satisfied with that and tossed me the rifle, as he had pressed us all into service for an immediate skirmish with government forces. As the forces converged in the building we were in (apparently a school house) I tried shooting but nothing happened -- the rifle was jammed or had no bullets. I tried to flee by hiding in a room full of people who were carrying on in their schoolwork, apparently believing that if they took no part in the conflict, neither side would hurt them. I pleaded for them to hide me and one signaled that I should try to hide under their desk, which had a tablecloth partially draped over it, not enough to actually hide me. For a while it seemed that the soldiers might pass me by, but I got nabbed again. A soldier pointed his pistol at me and I knew he was going to shoot me. I grabbed the pistol and wrestled him for it. He intentionally pointed it at another woman who was also prisoner so that I would stop, but I kept on struggling until I wrested it from him. I then pointed the pistol at him and pulled the trigger but nothing happened, and I realized that his gun didn't have bullets either and he had been bluffing everyone the whole time.

pcqgod wrote:I had a frightening and disturbing dream last night. I and several friends/acquaintances were apparently on vacation in some Latin American nation that was in the middle of a violent anti-government revolution. We were approached by revolutionary soldiers and pretended to be citizens minding their own business but were accosted and interrogated, one by one. A revolutionary walked up to me with a rifle and asked me what I thought of the government. I said I was a foreigner and didn't want to get involved. Finally, pressed to respond, I admitted that I didn't like the repressive regime and the soldier was satisfied with that and tossed me the rifle, as he had pressed us all into service for an immediate skirmish with government forces. As the forces converged in the building we were in (apparently a school house) I tried shooting but nothing happened -- the rifle was jammed or had no bullets. I tried to flee by hiding in a room full of people who were carrying on in their schoolwork, apparently believing that if they took no part in the conflict, neither side would hurt them. I pleaded for them to hide me and one signaled that I should try to hide under their desk, which had a tablecloth partially draped over it, not enough to actually hide me. For a while it seemed that the soldiers might pass me by, but I got nabbed again. A soldier pointed his pistol at me and I knew he was going to shoot me. I grabbed the pistol and wrestled him for it. He intentionally pointed it at another woman who was also prisoner so that I would stop, but I kept on struggling until I wrested it from him. I then pointed the pistol at him and pulled the trigger but nothing happened, and I realized that his gun didn't have bullets either and he had been bluffing everyone the whole time.

I would've forced myself to wake up about halfway through that dream.

A few weeks ago, I was having this dream where people would burst into my apartment, and in the dream, I realized I hadn't locked the front door. I woke myself up after those because I didn't want the dreams to go any farther.

I eventually woke myself up. It's easier when something obviously contrary to reality is happening, but this one felt so real. I felt so vulnerable walking up the halls of the building knowing that bullets could be flying at me at any time, and then actually seeing enemy soldiers closing in with nothing between me and them, no chance at survival except to try to shoot them first. I don't know how anybody does it, let alone the kids who get sent to fight wars.

I lay in bed for a long time the other night and I couldn't sleep. But then I heard a sound like a jet plane or locomotive nearby and then the wall began to crumble and then I woke up. I was dreaming that I couldn't sleep. I think the sound was me snoring.

Jimbo wrote:I lay in bed for a long time the other night and I couldn't sleep. But then I heard a sound like a jet plane or locomotive nearby and then the wall began to crumble and then I woke up. I was dreaming that I couldn't sleep. I think the sound was me snoring.

I'm surprised the same dream didn't have someone smothering you with their pillow.

I've had weird dreams my entire life but they're currently very vivid and strange. Last night I dreamt I went into ASDA and renamed all the Pot Noodles 'Not Poodles'.

Bernie on FB wrote:I've had weird dreams my entire life but they're currently very vivid and strange. Last night I dreamt I went into ASDA and renamed all the Pot Noodles 'Not Poodles'.

I dreamed that my my now passed away dad who was pretty much blinded by macular degeneration asked me if I'd park his car for him. I asked him if he'd been driving and he sheepishly said yes, that he went to the track but that I should relax. He made it home, didn't he! The car was a beat up big old Buick or Pontiac and I had to back it up into a parking slot. I got behind the wheel and my wife got into the back seat. I put the car into reverse and began to back into the space but when I went to put on the brakes the pedal went all the way to the floor. I tried a couple of times more and the pedal was as loose as the first time. I was going very very slowly. Now, at the very edge of this parking lot was mountain and I didn't stop and my rear wheels creaked over the lip of the parking space onto the mountain, and then very slowly we started to roll backwards down this mountain. I could feel the severe tilt of the car as it rolled. But I wasn't worried, I felt sure some tree stumps would stop me but nothing impeded us and momentum was building up and I was wasn't slowing down. Faster and faster the car rolled backwards. I told my wife to get down and she scrunched into the backseat foot well. Now I panicked! I wondered how much it will hurt or if I'll die when I finally crash because those were my only choices. But I kept on rolling faster and faster backwards down this mountain. Then I woke up.

Sheesh, spoiled rock stars!

My wife and I were at a concert. I can't remember who exactly, a Paul Westerburg alternative type of act with two players and it was a great show. After about only five songs they stopped playing and "Westerburg" began to coyly play with the curtain opening, teasing the Japanese audience like he was going to leave. The audience was quiet not knowing exactly what he was about to do so I bucked up some courage and croaked out with cupped hands, "Stay just a little bit longer. Won't you please say you will." (I was probably talking out loud in my sleep.) Then we realized this was a second act of the show. They went backstage and then curtain opened and they returned with their hair slicked back wearing cheap suits in a parody of CIA agents in some artsy satire where the two members sat at a table across from one another stacking checkers: Clack! Clack! Clack! On and on they went and I fell asleep - in the dream. Then I awoke and they were still stacking checkers. The Japanese audience, famously polite stayed for this bullshit but I said fuck this shit and got my coat. Then I woke up for real.

Last night I had a dream that I bought a rental home in Chester and I made a friend the property manager. In the dream, I asked him why it was taking him so long to find a tenant and it turns out that prospective tenants had to pass a trivia quiz on Batman and he wouldn't take their application or consider them unless they passed the quiz.

If they didn't pass, he showed me on Facebook Video Chat the big rubber stamp with "Denied" on it, he'd use when they didn't pass the quiz.

Minnie the Minx wrote:This morning I had a dream I was having sex with Jack Kerouac in a fridge, except he looked like Chucky the doll and had a large imitation phallus. When it was all over he crawled into the cheese drawer and fell asleep.

Last night I dreamed I fell asleep in a Chuck E. Cheese while reading a Jack Kerouac book. I don't remember what happened after that, because I was asleep. Probably best I don't ask.

I had a weird dream that ended with me being on a table waiting for a lethal injection.