Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Harvey K-Tel
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 29 Jan 2018, 19:44

Toronto has its first serial killer!

The suspect was a landscaper, and hid remains of his victims in large planters on clients' properties. Oh, and he was also a mall Santa!

https://www.thestar.com/news/crime/2018/01/29/police-to-update-media-on-bruce-mcarthur-investigation-monday.html
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Copehead » 09 Feb 2018, 00:06

Possibly the best headline I have ever seen

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/lostinshowbiz/2018/feb/08/a-hole-in-a-k-hole-katie-hopkins-ketamine-adventures
A-hole in a K-hole: Katie Hopkins’ ketamine adventures
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby pcqgod » 20 Feb 2018, 21:23

China cracks down on funeral strippers.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/02 ... strippers/
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Charlie O. » 27 Feb 2018, 01:42

This bullshit is going on in Newfoundland, Pennsylvania, just a short drive from where my grandparents lived:

Pennsylvania church plans a ceremony with AR-15 rifles — and a local school is getting students out of the way

By Michelle Boorstein February 26 at 8:40 AM

School officials in a rural area in the Pocono Mountains, in northeastern Pennsylvania, reportedly told elementary school parents that their children will be relocated for the day Wednesday to accommodate a nearby church planning a special wedding-like ceremony involving AR-15 semiautomatic rifles — similar to the weapons used in a Florida high school massacre exactly two weeks earlier.

The Wallenpaupack Area School District sent a letter to parents whose children attend the Wallenpaupack South Elementary School informing them that students will spend the day on a different school campus, reported WFMZ-TV news, which serves eastern Pennsylvania. The move was a safety precaution, WFMZ reported, although the church has told attendees — who church officials say are coming from around the world for the service — not to load the weapons.

The World Peace and Unification Sanctuary, also known as the Sanctuary Church, is led by the son of the late Rev. Sun Myung Moon, a self-professed messiah from Korea who became a symbol of the 1970s cult wars by holding mass weddings for couples who often were strangers. Moon, who founded the Unification Church, became a player in a segment of the American conservative world through business interests including the Washington Times, and his son Hyung Jin Moon has woven gun rights into the religious community he leads in Pennsylvania, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate groups and calls Hyung Jin Moon an “anti-LGBT cult leader.”

The church’s website calls for “heterosexual couples” who believe that Hyung Jin Moon is the representative and heir of his messiah father to participate in a historic “Perfection Stage Book of Life Registration Blessing” — either in Newfoundland or “at other locations via the Internet.” The site calls the service at 10 a.m. Wednesday the “Cosmic True Parents of Heaven, Earth and Humanity Cheon Il Guk Book of Life Registration Blessing” ceremony. “True Parents” was the term Sun Myung Moon’s many followers called him and his wife. The SPLC site says “Cheon Il Guk” is the church’s name for “a sovereign kingdom of heaven on earth” — that must be defended, “which is where the assault rifles come in,” the center’s site says.

“Blessed couples are requested to bring the accoutrements of the nation of Cheon Il Guk, crowns representing the sovereignty of Kings and Queens, and a ‘rod of iron,’ designated by the Second King as an AR15 semiautomatic rifle or equivalents such as an AK semiautomatic rifle, representing both the intent and the ability to defend one’s family, community and ‘nation of Cheon Il Guk,’ ” the church’s site says in a statement. Hyung Jin calls himself “Second King,” the SPLC reports.

If couples can’t bring the guns because of legal problems “or other reasons,” they are “invited to purchase a $700 gift certificate from a gun store, as evidence of their intent to purchase a ‘rod of iron’ in the future,” the church’s site says. “These actions to participate with crowns and a rod of iron/gift certificate are signs of attendance, sovereignty and vigilance to protect God’s coming nation.”

The church also calls itself the Rod of Iron Ministries, citing the Book of Revelation, which God is said to run with an iron scepter.

Local media cited many parents who were afraid of an event with so many firearms — especially near a school.

“I wish they wouldn’t have it at all. I don’t think there’s a good time to have it, especially this close,” Kendra Hanor told WNEP-ABC. But most of the comments on the station’s website were supportive of the church, saying it’s their legal right.

While the ceremony and church are on the American fringe, religiously, they are making common cause with evangelicals, who polling shows are more likely than Americans overall to be satisfied with current gun laws and who prefer laws to be less strict, according to Christianity Today. A 2017 piece by the magazine cited data by the firm PRRI finding that “evangelicals were the only religious group in which a plurality (40 percent) say that putting more emphasis on God and morality in school and society is the most important thing that could be done to prevent future mass shootings.”

The Wednesday ceremony will follow a “President Trump Thank You Dinner” the church organized Saturday night in nearby Matamoras. WNEP reported that a couple hundred people attended the event at a Best Western that was a fundraiser for the group Gun Owners of America. The dinner was co-sponsored by Kahr Arms, a weapons manufacturer owned by Moon’s brother, Justin. Kahr opened a 40,000-square-foot building in 2015 in the Poconos.

Protesters are planning a vigil at 6:30 p.m. Wednesday at the Pike County Courthouse, according to the Pike County Courier. The names of students and adults killed Feb. 14 in Parkland, Fla., and in other communities in recent mass shootings will be read.
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Your Friendly Neighbourhood Postman » 28 Feb 2018, 12:34

pcqgod wrote:China cracks down on funeral strippers.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/02 ... strippers/


There is a magnificent concept LP in this sole paragraph:

"According to the interpretation of cultural anthropology, the fete is originated from the worship of reproduction," media professor Kuang Haiyan said, according to The Global Times. "Therefore the erotic performance at the funeral is just a cultural atavism."
Last edited by Your Friendly Neighbourhood Postman on 28 Feb 2018, 13:38, edited 1 time in total.
On the whole, I'd rather be in Wallenpaupack.

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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Your Friendly Neighbourhood Postman » 28 Feb 2018, 12:36

Charlie O. quoted:

The Wallenpaupack Area School District sent a letter to parents whose children attend the Wallenpaupack South Elementary School informing them that students will spend the day on a different school campus, reported WFMZ-TV news, which serves eastern Pennsylvania. The move was a safety precaution, WFMZ reported, although the church has told attendees — who church officials say are coming from around the world for the service — not to load the weapons.


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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Your Friendly Neighbourhood Postman » 28 Feb 2018, 12:52

Copehead wrote:Possibly the best headline I have ever seen

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/lostinshowbiz/2018/feb/08/a-hole-in-a-k-hole-katie-hopkins-ketamine-adventures
A-hole in a K-hole: Katie Hopkins’ ketamine adventures


:D :D :D

Agree. Exquisite title for a Happy Mondays tribute album.
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Nikki Gradual » 28 Feb 2018, 12:58

This country does not cope well with a little but of adverse weather.
Ski centre closes due to excess snow.

http://metro.co.uk/2018/02/28/ski-centre-closes-snowing-7348309/#mv-a
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Your Friendly Neighbourhood Postman » 28 Feb 2018, 13:40

Nikki Gradual wrote:This country does not cope well with a little but of adverse weather.
Ski centre closes due to excess snow.

http://metro.co.uk/2018/02/28/ski-centre-closes-snowing-7348309/#mv-a


:lol:

I love the technical explanations for this oxymoronic situation.

Although one wouldn't wish a broken femur upon any decent fellow human being, of course.
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Nikki Gradual » 16 Mar 2018, 15:34

"He always said he felt like a squirrel stuck in a human body and kept hiding food around the house, but I never thought he would abandon us!”

“He goes around running naked in the woods and chewing bark and frozen fruits… He could really get sick or die!”

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/transspecies-man-abandons-family-to-live-naked-in-the-forest-as-a-squirrel/
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 16 Mar 2018, 16:07

If he really was a squirrel he wouldn't eat bark. Poseur!
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby never/ever » 22 Mar 2018, 10:20

Calling Pete the Diamond Dog....care to explain this?

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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby never/ever » 04 Apr 2018, 09:31

The Commonwealth Games couldn't have started any funnier....

https://www.smh.com.au/national/queensl ... 4z7ni.html
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Diamond Dog » 04 Apr 2018, 09:37

never/ever wrote:Calling Pete the Diamond Dog....care to explain this?

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http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-oxfo ... e=facebook


Aha!

Yes indeed.

A couple of weeks back we had a very creative soul from Didcot (about six miles from Wallingford) going around randomly and adding the imaginary kingdoms to the local roadsigns.... much merriment was had by all for a couple of days until the 'offending additions' were removed from the signs.

I wonder what the tourists thought of "Middle Earth" being in their midst....
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby gash on ignore » 04 Apr 2018, 14:40

Rural lulz
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That's it.

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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby souphound » 04 Apr 2018, 14:42

never/ever wrote:The Commonwealth Games couldn't have started any funnier....

https://www.smh.com.au/national/queensl ... 4z7ni.html


:lol: :lol:

Mistaking England for Gambia is an easy mistake to make though. :? :lol:
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Count Machuki » 17 Apr 2018, 15:32

This isn't bizarre, but somebody was PAID to write this. And somebody to edit it, presumably.

FULTON COUNTY, GA (CBS46) -
A South Fulton community says they are being plagues by gun fire, and whole no on has been hurt, the constant sound of weapons going off has them worried about their safety.

It's a quiet upper middles class neighborhood yet for the past several weeks residents say they have heard gun shots on a regular basis and it has many on edge.



http://www.cbs46.com/story/37969172/gun ... z5CwM86RM3


Slack, sloppy local news. Tsk.
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Harvey K-Tel » 17 Apr 2018, 15:52

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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby Charlie O. » 24 Apr 2018, 17:09

Posted here not so much for the story as for the title:

Uranus has a familiar odor, scientists say, and Earthlings wouldn’t like it
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Re: Funny old world, a repository for bizarre news stories

Postby gash on ignore » 03 May 2018, 13:23

TORY MP JAMES DUDDRIDGE RUSHED TO HOSPITAL WITH RUPTURED ANUS AFTER POWER STANCE GOES WRONG


http://www.southendnewsnetwork.net/news ... oes-wrong/
Diamond Dog wrote:
That's it.

I've taken the decision.

I'm bored of the twat and the misery he deals in.



Diamond Dog wrote:Bit embarrassed, are we? Try to make light of it, shall we?