MORE random stuff about your day

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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Rayge
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Rayge » 14 Jan 2018, 21:26

Sorry for your loss, Charlie.
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Belle Lettre
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Belle Lettre » 14 Jan 2018, 21:38

So very sorry, Charlie.
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hippopotamus
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby hippopotamus » 14 Jan 2018, 22:26

Such sad news.

Niege, I'm so sad for you and your family. I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through. I don't even know what I can say... But I'm sure he appreciates the time with you.

Charlie, again I don't know there's anything constructive to say... but I think you have the right attitude. I'm sure there will be a lot to get through from here but hopefully you can take some solace in your own wisdom.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Hugh » 14 Jan 2018, 22:52

My thoughts are with you, Charlie. Take care.

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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Wally Bingbang » 14 Jan 2018, 22:53

That's heartbreaking news from both of you, Charlie and Felix. My thoughts are with you both.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby sloopjohnc » 15 Jan 2018, 00:31

Charlie O. wrote:A lot has happened since my last Mom update, but I'll cut to the ending:

As I was getting dressed for work this morning, I got a call from my eldest brother Jim at the hospital: "Mom's gone. She just... stopped breathing."

As I hung up the phone, my first thought was: this could have been so much worse, on so many levels. She could have had something that lingered for months or years, with continued physical pain and continued fluctuations of lucidity, or even slipped into full-on dementia like a number of her elderly friends have (which I know she would have hated).

So while the grief may hit me hard at some point, right now I'm okay. We're okay. I'm confident that she's okay. It's all okay.


While it's sad, short and sweet is for the best. When I was phoning financial and insurance companies informing them of my dad's death, they'd always say they were sorry.

I always told them, "Don't be. He went fast and he had a great life and lived a long time." Like you write Charlie, she's not in pain.

I have friends whose parents didn't recognize them for 5-10 years in senior homes. Now, that's shitty.

Sorry Felix about your brother. I feel for you - and him.

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Minnie the Minx
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Minnie the Minx » 15 Jan 2018, 00:36

Charlie O. wrote:A lot has happened since my last Mom update, but I'll cut to the ending:

As I was getting dressed for work this morning, I got a call from my eldest brother Jim at the hospital: "Mom's gone. She just... stopped breathing."

As I hung up the phone, my first thought was: this could have been so much worse, on so many levels. She could have had something that lingered for months or years, with continued physical pain and continued fluctuations of lucidity, or even slipped into full-on dementia like a number of her elderly friends have (which I know she would have hated). Many times over the past quarter-century, and as recently as a few days ago, she told me how afraid she was that Dad would go before she did (though I never said it, I feared that, too); that didn't happen. She could have died, as her father did, terrified of what agonies might await her in Hell. (I don't know why Grandpa was so worried about that. I don't remember him being devoutly religious, and he certainly wasn't ever much of a sinner as far as I knew.)

To just "... stop breathing," with no apparent pain or fear, is a pretty enviable way to go, as ways to go go.

I wasn't sure what state I would find Jim and Dad in when I got to the hospital - but I found that we were all on the same page.

At the end, she was fighting Norovirus (picked up at the miserable rehab place she transferred to from the hospital, before THEY sent her back to the hospital on Thursday), fluid in one lung, kidneys that weren't functioning properly, very low blood pressure, and very high blood sugar. The pulmonologist told Dad and Jim yesterday (and they told me) that while he wasn't "predicting anything," we "should be prepared for the worst." I suppose we were.

So while the grief may hit me hard at some point, right now I'm okay. We're okay. I'm confident that she's okay. It's all okay.


Every ounce of pain, distress or anxiety your Mom was going through has ended. All gone. I sincerely hope you can find comfort in these totally obvious but nonetheless true words. Sending much love to you and your family, dear Charlie xx
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Charlie O. » 15 Jan 2018, 00:52

Minnie the Minx wrote:Every ounce of pain, distress or anxiety your Mom was going through has ended. All gone. I sincerely hope you can find comfort in these totally obvious but nonetheless true words.

Well, they are true - that's it, in a nutshell.

Thanks, all.

And Felix - I didn't see your post 'til just now - I feel for you, my friend. Cancer's a bastard.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby fange » 15 Jan 2018, 01:29

Charlie, my condolences mate. Take care. Felix, wishing you and the fam strength mate. FU, cancer.

To all the BCBers and their loved ones having it tough at the moment, good luck and stay strong.

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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby toomanyhatz » 15 Jan 2018, 03:50

You guys have me in tears, in part because I just visited my mom (who's doing pretty well considering - knock wood) and have similar thoughts to what Charlie expressed. I have more fear that her quality of life will decline drastically than that she'll die. She's not afraid of death and is ready to go whenever her time turns out to be, so hopefully her body won't try to hold on past the point where it makes sense.

Not sure what else to say other than express my sympathies to both Charlie and Felix. It's really tough to watch people you care about suffer. That's the good news, Charlie - as you say, her suffering is over. I hope you continue to be OK with it, but I know whatever feelings it brings up will come from a place of love.

All the best to both of you, and to your families.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Toby » 15 Jan 2018, 07:33

Can only echo sentiments about a short and sweet death. I think those of us who experience that are blessed to a certain extent.

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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby never/ever » 15 Jan 2018, 08:16

All the best for all your families, Charlie and Felix.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Jeemo » 15 Jan 2018, 13:06

can only echo what everyone else has said. take care of yourself Charlie.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Count Machuki » 15 Jan 2018, 16:57

Oh, no, Charlie. My condolences, man. Hang in there.
:(
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Minnie the Minx » 16 Jan 2018, 16:50

It's freezing in Texas today. Literally freezing. I'm working from home as the roads were too dangerous to tackle. I'm wearing three sweatshirts and Baron is wearing a thick black wool turtleneck. He looks like a morose architect from a Danish detective series.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Neige » 16 Jan 2018, 20:21

Sincere condolences, Charlie... I wish my brother could go like that. :|
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby kath » 16 Jan 2018, 23:31

fange wrote:Charlie, my condolences mate. Take care. Felix, wishing you and the fam strength mate. FU, cancer.

To all the BCBers and their loved ones having it tough at the moment, good luck and stay strong.



this.

sending love to y'all.

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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby sloopjohnc » 17 Jan 2018, 00:22

I started out as a journalism major and have many friends who were in the business and moved on. This was sad to see on Twitter. The San Jose Mercury News, which was the second most profitable paper in the Knight Ridder chain, next to the Miami Herald, had 440 people working in their newsroom in the early '90s. They now have 39.

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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby sloopjohnc » 17 Jan 2018, 23:23

We sold our house in 2014 for $660,000, which was $100,000 over asking price. It is now appraised at $852,000 market value, four years later. I would bet that it would still get $100,000 over asking price.

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fange
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby fange » 18 Jan 2018, 00:21

Well, the new phase in the fange family's life is under way.

Mrs. fange and the kids headed back to Brisvegas just over a week ago, bringing to an end 10 years of life in Hong Kong for them. They're now in the process of getting our big new house ready and furnished for themselves, getting the girls ready for the upcoming Aussie school year, etc. while yours truly is sticking around in HK to work and keep the (quite good for a teacher) money rolling in, to keep two roofs over our heads. The plan as it stands is for me to stay here and see out my contract, which ends in the summer of 2019, as i get a very healthy bonus at the completion of that, so i'm also in the process of moving flats to something smaller, with just the necessaries for a bachelor type. Just sent our cats away with the vet too, to be kept in quarantine in Melbourne for 10 days or so before they are sent up to Brissy to be with the family again. Both of them hate traveling, so the looks of stress and confusion on their faces as they meowed away made me pretty sad.

I know this is a good financial move (hopefully), as with me making good money over here and having slashed our housing and school bills significantly, we should be able to save some serious money for the years ahead, especially once mrs. fange gets some work too aafter she gets things more settled with the house and kids. But ... i miss them already. Not depression-level miss, but that a sharp one nevertheless. I'll be able to head back see them in the holidays - Chinese New Year is coming up, and Easter not long after - so that's good. And i'll admit, after 17 years of marriage and 14 years as a dad the quiet at home is kind of refreshing... but it still feels weird. I guess i'll be able to run more! :)
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