MORE random stuff about your day

in reality, all of this has been a total load of old bollocks
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yomptepi
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby yomptepi » 20 Jul 2018, 11:52

never/ever wrote:Yomp....if it helps, I feel like giving your mother a hug today.
May that spark n her eye be there for a very long time.
And strength to you too.


Thanks Maarts. Much appreciated.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Jimbly » 20 Jul 2018, 12:08

You're in my thoughts Yomp, nearly a year since my Mother in law passed after similar issues.

In local news there was a couple of tragedies that happened. I know the parents involved not that close but it's terrible when you do know them.

in one case a 14 year old drowned in a reservoir and in the other an 18 year old was blinded by a paint gun at a disco while on holiday. I can't begin to think what the paremts are gping through.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Diamond Dog » 20 Jul 2018, 12:55

Only just see your post Mike - really sorry re your Mum.

You know you have an open offer to talk/rant/rationalise etc if you want...
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby kath » 20 Jul 2018, 20:48

much love and well-wishery, yomp.

::smack::

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KeithPratt
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby KeithPratt » 21 Jul 2018, 12:40

Sorry to hear of your mum's difficulties Mike.

My Dad has moved into a home. Same one as my mum, and in fact he is only a few doors down from where she was. He's deteriorated since arriving and there's a sense that he is disengaging from us; he no longer reads and he doesn't want to join the other occupants at lunch or dinner. I respect his wishes; it seems that this disengagement is fairly common in the very elderly and i would be surprised if he makes it to the winter. It's hard but he is being cared for and whilst the trips to see him aren't easy it's just something I have to do.

In more upbeat news I earned a distinction for my last module and am now the proud owner of a first-class honours degree in Classics.

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KeithPratt
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby KeithPratt » 23 Jul 2018, 16:17

So within a day of posting that my Dad had passed. Did so painlessly on Sunday morning. Feel relieved more than anything else; he didn't want to be a burden and simply wasn't. I don't think there is a "good" death but this was close to it.

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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Charlie O. » 23 Jul 2018, 17:05

I'm sorry, Toby. I can appreciate the "relief" - I had the same sorts of thoughts and feelings when my mom died (she probably did, too). Hard as it is, sometimes it's a blessing.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Samoan » 23 Jul 2018, 17:12

Dear Toby,
Please accept my sincerest condolences.
Nonsense to the aggressiveness, I've seen more aggression on the my little pony message board......I mean I was told.

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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Neige » 23 Jul 2018, 18:03

Condolences Toby and positive thoughts for you and your mum, Yomp!
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Six String » 23 Jul 2018, 18:51

I'm sorry to hear of your loss Toby. It's so hard to let go of those we love even when we know it's inevitable.
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yomptepi
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby yomptepi » 23 Jul 2018, 23:26

I spent half an hour in deep conversation with a Catholic priest over the nature of whether you can decide for yourself when you can die. I think he was playing me, but actually I felt a lot better for listening to him, and for him making the time to listen to me. Odd where you can find a little comfort , isn't it? I think he is finding shepherding my super catholic mother a bit of challenge...
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby The Modernist » 23 Jul 2018, 23:30

So sorry Toby.

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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby toomanyhatz » 24 Jul 2018, 01:10

Toby wrote:So within a day of posting that my Dad had passed. Did so painlessly on Sunday morning. Feel relieved more than anything else; he didn't want to be a burden and simply wasn't. I don't think there is a "good" death but this was close to it.


Condolences, Toby. My dad basically did the same. Just quietly checked out. There is certainly something to be said for checking out on your own terms and not lingering too long in difficult circumstances, but that doesn't make it that much easier for those left behind.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Belle Lettre » 24 Jul 2018, 09:03

Very sorry for your loss, Toby.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby never/ever » 24 Jul 2018, 10:11

My condolences Toby.... As hard as the loss is to take I'm glad for you that it didn't drag on.... Rest in peace.


yomptepi wrote:I spent half an hour in deep conversation with a Catholic priest over the nature of whether you can decide for yourself when you can die. I think he was playing me, but actually I felt a lot better for listening to him, and for him making the time to listen to me. Odd where you can find a little comfort , isn't it? I think he is finding shepherding my super catholic mother a bit of challenge...


My mother before her passing had a similar discussion with her (female) pastor. She knew that she didn't have long to live and was very concerned about her soul if she were to decide on euthanasia as a means of an end.
Her pastor was terrific... She could not make any promises but she told my mother that God would know when she was ready to go to Him and that it didn't matter if the way taken was either natural or chemical...as long as my mother was sure.
That she passed away quite beautifully on her own strength after saying goodbye to her children and grandchildren was perhaps (in a small way) God's will.
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yomptepi
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby yomptepi » 24 Jul 2018, 10:25

never/ever wrote:My condolences Toby.... As hard as the loss is to take I'm glad for you that it didn't drag on.... Rest in peace.


yomptepi wrote:I spent half an hour in deep conversation with a Catholic priest over the nature of whether you can decide for yourself when you can die. I think he was playing me, but actually I felt a lot better for listening to him, and for him making the time to listen to me. Odd where you can find a little comfort , isn't it? I think he is finding shepherding my super catholic mother a bit of challenge...


My mother before her passing had a similar discussion with her (female) pastor. She knew that she didn't have long to live and was very concerned about her soul if she were to decide on euthanasia as a means of an end.
Her pastor was terrific... She could not make any promises but she told my mother that God would know when she was ready to go to Him and that it didn't matter if the way taken was either natural or chemical...as long as my mother was sure.
That she passed away quite beautifully on her own strength after saying goodbye to her children and grandchildren was perhaps (in a small way) God's will.


That is basically what Father Peter was saying. She will go when it is time, and she has to be patient. Easy for him to say....but I know it is what she needed to hear.
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Neige
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Neige » 24 Jul 2018, 11:54

I got a call yesterday informing me that my stepmother has died from the consequences of a fall, last week.

I'm not sad.

My dad had married her when they were both in their eighties. She was a distinguished and pretty lady but also spoilt, self-centered, snobbish, and overbearing - just not a nice person, really. We avoided being in a store, a restaurant or another public place with her because her bossy attitude towards the staff made us cringe. If I wanted to talk to my dad in his final years, Lady Neige had to distract her because otherwise her sheer presence and snide comments made any normal conversation impossible. But my dad worshipped her and dedicated his life to satisfying her every wish.

When he died, he left her a very comfortable monthly pension (2300 £) in his will. For the last two years, she lived in an old people's home, in a wheelchair and with dementia, and she still drove everybody mad, so I'm told.

The account my dad had opened for the pension would have been empty within the next year and my siblings and me would have had to support her with our own means. We feared that she would live to be hundred...

It feels wrong to feel this good - but I do. :|
Last edited by Neige on 24 Jul 2018, 12:50, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby never/ever » 24 Jul 2018, 12:35

So how should we proceed, Felix.... Congratulations seems a bit crass under the circumstances....
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Neige
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Neige » 24 Jul 2018, 12:51

never/ever wrote:So how should we proceed, Felix.... Congratulations seems a bit crass under the circumstances....


Indeed. :?
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Re: MORE random stuff about your day

Postby Darkness_Fish » 25 Jul 2018, 08:57

Sorry for your loss, Toby. From your previous post it reminded me of my Grandad's passing, we visited him in a home one day, and he was just so detached and distant, we all felt he'd given up and knew he didn't have long. I guess, if you can go on your own terms, it's not so bad in the end. Chin up, and remember all the good times, that's all any of us can really do.

And Neige, sorry for whatever loss and residual ill will you may be feeling. Y'know.
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