Postby sloopjohnc » 03 May 2018, 16:26
Pretty much the actual transcription of conversation the car today as I drove three teenage boys to high school.
Me: Hey, Drake. How you feeling?
Drake (Derek's friend): I couldn't sleep I was coughing so much.
Davin arrives (Drake's older brother): Yeah, Drake has an STD.
Me: Whatever it is, that's why I took three vitamin C pills this morning. Knowing Drake was coming. Drake - cover your mouth when you cough.
Davin: Yeah, Drake was sucking dicks.That's why he caught something?
Derek: Drake caught a cold off of someone's dick.
Me: Vitamin C. I'm tellin' ya.
Derek: That won't help.
Me: I don't know. That's what Nobel Prize winner Linus Pauling, who invented the polio vaccine, said.
Davin: He won the Nobel Peace Prize for telling people to take vitamin C?
Me: No, for polio vaccine. And it wasn't the peace prize. It was science.
Derek: Yeah, there are other prizes besides the peace prize.
Me: I'll give anyone a tic-tac if they can tell me what Alfred Nobel, the starter of the prize, invented?
Derek: TNT.
Davin: He gave out prizes for making weapons?
Me: I think he felt bad about it so started the prizes. And remember, they couldn't have built the Trans-Pacific railroad without dynamite.
Davin: They should have just waited until they built cars.
Me: I don't think they knew they were coming. And you need dynamite to build roads in the mountains.
Finally arrive at school.
Me: Okay guys, have an STD-free day.
Boys: Bye Dad, Bye Mr. Crook. Thanks.
Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk!