My mum 1928 - 2009

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Mr Maps
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My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Mr Maps » 23 May 2009, 16:14

I'm not doing very well with words right now so here's a note my wife sent out via facebook on Thursday

Hello there,
Shawn asked me to send a note to a few of his nearest and dearest to let them know about his mother's situation. She's not well. As all of you know, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease about 11 years ago but has probably been living with it for about 15. Her condition has been in a slow decline all these years.

Last week, she fell out of bed in middle of the night and fractured a couple of her ribs. Unfortunately, the trauma made her condition much worse than it already was and she developed pneumonia.

She's in the hospital right now and doctors gave Shawn's dad a couple of options in her treatment: A) give her antibiotics for the pneumonia and she would have less than a 50% chance of recovering and even if she did get over the pneumonia, her condition would be much worse than before her fall; or B) do not give her antibiotics and let nature take its course, where she would probably pass away within a few days. The doctor recommended option B because her physical and mental state has deteriorated so much.

Needless to say, it was a difficult decision but Shawn's dad has had many years to think about it and with the help of his family, chose to go with the doctor's recommendation.

On the more positive side (if there is one), all the health professionals praised Shawn's dad for taking such good care of her for so long. He mainly did it on his own and she remained with him at home and was never institutionalized.

So... Shawn just wanted me to let you know in case you contact him or run into him that that's where his head is right now. He's currently at the hospital taking turns with his siblings being with parents.

I can let you all know if anything changes.

And so there were changes.
Her breathing became increasingly shallow and she passed away, peacefully Friday afternoon with her husband and family around her.
It's a bit crazy now making funeral arrangements, making sure my dad is alright and family coming in from out of town to stay. My sister and her son arrived at 2:30 this morning.

I'm not one to get too personal on here but uh y'know... I don't know... I'm here on a regular basis and I had to get it out.
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Bungo the Mungo » 23 May 2009, 16:23

I'm so sorry, Shawn. It can't have been easy but you did a great deal to help her.

I'm sure you have a lot of sweet memories. Keep them in mind.

Take care.

K

Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby K » 23 May 2009, 16:23

Sorry to here this, mate.
RIP to your mum.

My thoughts are with you.

k.

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Neige
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Neige » 23 May 2009, 16:26

Condolences, man.

Whatever the circumstances, this sucks.

RIP to your mum.
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Butch Manly
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Butch Manly » 23 May 2009, 16:27

Really sorry to hear your news, Shawn. Look after yourself.
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Insouciant Western People
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Insouciant Western People » 23 May 2009, 16:30

What they said, I'm so sorry to hear this. It's hard to know what else to say in the circumstances, but I wish you and your family all the best.

Take it easy Shawn.
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quix
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby quix » 23 May 2009, 16:33

i'm really sorry to hear this too. i don't really know you but i hope that you know my message is genuine when i say how very sorry i am.

lots of love.

xxx

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Matt Wilson
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Matt Wilson » 23 May 2009, 16:44

Keep your head up, Shawn.

This too shall pass.
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Hugh
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Hugh » 23 May 2009, 16:51

Very, very sorry to hear of your loss Shawn. Happy memories/

Hugh

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sloopjohnc
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby sloopjohnc » 23 May 2009, 16:57

My boss and I were talking about this awhile ago. His dad had Alzheimer's for 5-6 years before he died, and he told me he had had his final words with his father years ago so the end wasn't as difficult as it could've been.

My wife and I had a little different circumstances with our moms and they died more suddenly than both of us would've liked. My mom died from pneumonia as a result of leukemia so I've been there. She fell into a coma and I was in the hospital when she died. My dad kissed her very gently and whispered, "Goodbye Johanna." I was glad I was there to see that.

But both my grandmothers lived near us so I've been involved in taking care of folks for an extended time. It's sad, but I know it was a relief to both my parents when they finally died in peace.

But fast or slow, it's never easy to see your mom's last days. It sounds like your dad and you took care of her very well, and even though she was incapacitated, you did what you could.

Sounds like it'll be a couple hard days or weeks ahead, but you guys have gotten this far so you'll make it.

Vaya con dios.
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Minnie Mincepie
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Minnie Mincepie » 23 May 2009, 16:58

All the very best Shawn, that's so very sad

xx
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Beebsy » 23 May 2009, 17:02

I'm very sorry for your loss, Shawn and I'm thinking of you and your family and I suppose especially of your dad.

Bronagh

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Django
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Django » 23 May 2009, 17:03

I'm terribly sorry to hear this, Shawn. You and your family hve my deepest sympathies, and I have all the respect in the world for your dad for doing such a good job for such a long time.

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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Uncle Spellbinder » 23 May 2009, 17:05

I lost my mother last July, she died alone in a hospital several hundred miles from me. I know
your pain Shaun. At the very least, your mother had family and loved ones with her.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Seymore Porn
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Seymore Porn » 23 May 2009, 17:16

I'm so sorry to here about this. If it's any help, the support I got here and on Mojo made a huge difference when my dad died. Everyone here feels some of your pain and in the middles of the night when your family are sleeping you can come here and feel the shared sorrow.
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Neil Jung
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Neil Jung » 23 May 2009, 19:07

I'm sorry to read this sad news.

Mike
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harvey k-tel
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby harvey k-tel » 23 May 2009, 19:20

Sorry to hear it Shawn. Take 'er easy, bub.
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sensi

Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby sensi » 23 May 2009, 19:22

I'm sorry to hear this Shawn.

Look after yourself.

xx

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Fireplug
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Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby Fireplug » 23 May 2009, 19:37

Sad news. You have my sympathies and condolences.

The Modernist

Re: My mum 1928 - 2009

Postby The Modernist » 23 May 2009, 19:55

I'm so sorry Shawn. Although your mother is now out of the terrible deterioration she was going through, that is scant consolation for the devasting emotional loss and sadness you must now be feeling.
I wish you all the best.
G