England Cricket Team Thread

[Penk!]

Well, after everyone got carried away during the Sri Lanka series we can reassure ourselves with the knowledge that no, what we all thought was in fact true: England’s batting is utter, utter shit.

[borofan]

Well, after everyone got carried away during the Sri Lanka series we can reassure ourselves with the knowledge that no, what we all thought was in fact true: England’s batting is utter, utter shit.

Why not just set the scoreboard to a default 40-3 and start with Root and Stokes...

[borofan]

Well, after everyone got carried away during the Sri Lanka series we can reassure ourselves with the knowledge that no, what we all thought was in fact true: England’s batting is utter, utter shit.

Why not just set the scoreboard to a default 40-3 and start with Root and Stokes...

But then again ...58-7!

[Penk!]

In a way I have to say that they got what they deserved with the team selection: the spinners aren't good enough outside places like Sri Lanka so just stop trying to build them up and stick to your strengths. Broad was in superb form in the warm-ups and Curran isn't a new-ball bowler. They made a mess of the bowling and had they perhaps got that right and restricted the Windies to a total closer to 200, the batsmen might themselves have been more circumspect and careful having seen that the pitch had demons and danger in it.

Credit to Kemar Roach, though, he looks a top-level bowler these days. And Jason Holder has also developed into a quality bowler. Indeed there are quite a few players in this Windies side with talent: the bowling attack could be the best they've had since Ambrose and Walsh retired and though there's nobody at the level of that generation's Lara, Gayle or Sarwan with the bat, the likes of Hope and Hetmyer do show a lot of promise if not consistency.

[Tomahawk Kid]

What a difference a day makes. 18 wickets on day 2, 0 wickets on day 3.

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[Penk!]

Bizarre wasn't it? England had given up by halfway through the morning session: I have no idea why Root kept bowling Anderson and Stokes once the lead was over 400.

The Caribbean does produce some "interesting" pitches - wasn't there one match in about 1998 that had to be abandoned in the first session because every ball was flying off at crazy angles and paces and smashing into body parts, and even the bowlers expressed concern?

Still, rather a pitch like this than the kind of subcontinental biscuit where the match strategy is "hope to win toss and bat first".

[Lord Rother]

Well that was pretty shit wasn’t it?

Burns
Denly
Bairstow
Root
Buttler
Stokes
Foakes
Ali
Leach
Broad
Anderson

Sounds like we are likely to need two spinners in Antigua so Moeen gets another go.

The team did very well in 2018 so let’s not get too down on them but it is worrying that we lack character when our backs are against the wall. This pitch did nothing but faced with an impossible target we just seem to crumble mentally which is very poor.

[Penk!]

Roston Chase had a test match bowling average of 47.61 before today, averaging about 1.6 wickets per match. His one previous five-fer was when he took 5/121 as India racked up a total of 500/9 declared and won by an innings.

England were basically bowled out by Graeme Hick.

[Lord Rother]

[Penk!]

And Jason Holder, the guy who scored an unbeaten double century?

He now has three career first-class centuries. Two of them in tests against England.

The other was against Zimbabwe.

[Diamond Dog]

Roston Chase had a test match bowling average of 47.61 before today, averaging about 1.6 wickets per match. His one previous five-fer was when he took 5/121 as India racked up a total of 500/9 declared and won by an innings.

England were basically bowled out by Graeme Hick.

Bob Willis used the expression "Skittled out by Joe Root". Similar.

[Penk!]

It’s OK folks, I dreamt about the second test last night and it went swimmingly for England. Michael Atherton and Stuart Broad both scored centuries opening the batting and there was a fifty for someone in the middle order who may have been either James Taylor or, when my unconscious mind remembered that he’d quit and cast around desperately for another tiny sportsman it could be, Frankie Dettori.

Then Joe Root arrived on the sidelines, having oresumably not been picked, and the dream wandered off into a subplot where we needed to get some clothes for a graduation party.

[Penk!]

Another stellar opening partnership unearthed by England, then.

[Penk!]

Cam't blame Joe Root for that though - that was just a freak bounce.

[Lord Rother]

Buttler’s popped up off the pitch.

Pre match the talk was of a flat pitch, well if it carties on like this I can’t see it reaching Day 4.

[Penk!]

I am going to be controversial here and say that the main difference between the two teams in this match has been luck (and a drop or two by England) - the Windies batsmen have seen their wild swipes miss the ball altogether, their edges go in the gaps, where England seemed to lose a wicket for every mistake. Campbell had more lives than a boat full of cats; on another day, Broad would have got one of his 6-25 bowling figures and England would have a first innings lead.

[Lord Rother]

I tend to agree.

[Penk!]

I think Burns could make it but we really, really need to find a proper opener before the Ashes. Denly looks totally out of his depth. At least Jennings is a quality fielder!

[Penk!]

You are Jonny Bairstow and you are batting at number 3 for a team needing to bat time and put on runs in order to save the series. One of the openers has gone playing a poor shot and you as the senior batsman in the partnership need to show responsibility and grit.

Do you:

a) block and leave carefully, punishing the bad balls, emulating your opponents' batting in order to stick around and help the team build a big total?
b) have a wild swing at a straight one when you've been at the crease 15 minutes, completely miss it and get bowled?

[Tomahawk Kid]

Well, that was all depressingly familiar wasn't it?


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