England Cricket Team Thread

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Penk!
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Penk! » 30 Mar 2018, 07:22

How do I get a job as an England selector? They must be handsomely paid yet they do fuck all. ”Our batting was rubbish in the first test” ”Oh it must be because we dropped James Vince, let’s bring him back” ”But we have Livingstone in the squad who scores more than Vince at county level and isn’t a thrice-proven test failure” ”Yeah but an average of 22 is better than Livingstone who doesn’t average anything at all AM I RIGHT?”
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Lord Rother » 30 Mar 2018, 09:47

The definitive article on the ball tampering issue.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/ ... lain-sight

The game itself has allowed a culture to permeate where cheating has become acceptable. It has crept up on them but EVERYONE knew it was happening and did very little to address it properly.

Same goes for sledging. It’s a blight on the game and has been for decades - how on Earth it ever became acceptable for men (and indeed women, girls and boys) playing sport to insult and intimidate each other in an attempt to gain an advantage is absolutely beyond me. It has NOTHING to do with sport that I recognise.

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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Diamond Dog » 01 Apr 2018, 14:53

I've rarely laughed as much as I did seeing Warner's press conference yesterday. Was I the only one who thought he needed to spend a little bit longer at RADA?
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby borofan » 01 Apr 2018, 18:24

Diamond Dog wrote:I've rarely laughed as much as I did seeing Warner's press conference yesterday. Was I the only one who thought he needed to spend a little bit longer at RADA?

I've never seen a better example of crocodile tears in my life. If I never see the obnoxious little twat again it will be too soon.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby The Red Heifer » 03 Apr 2018, 12:09

David Warner's PR is Roxy Jacenko, who, considering her husband is not long out of the slammer for insider trading, would know a thing or two about not playing by the rules.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Diamond Dog » 04 Apr 2018, 08:10

Diamond Dog wrote:I've rarely laughed as much as I did seeing Warner's press conference yesterday. Was I the only one who thought he needed to spend a little bit longer at RADA?


Australian Cricketers' Association president Greg Dyer said the players had shown "absolutely extraordinary" contrition through their separate press conferences.

"Their distressed faces has sent a message across the globe as effective as any sanctions could be," he said on Tuesday.

"I think Australia cried with Steve Smith last Thursday - I know I certainly did."


Crying for clemency?
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby borofan » 20 Apr 2018, 17:34

K wrote:100 ball matches with a final 10 ball over? The BBC article was bizarre, showing a Lancashire 2nd eleven match at Old Trafford today (a work/school day) and wondering if the new format would bring in the crowds like they used to. (Cut to Botham in 1981 test match). They were really trying to show the old guard as some lumpen traditionalists who refuse all change.

Anyway, I'm still not sure about a 10 ball over.

Apparently it's all about havving a big display counting down from 100 as an innings goes on. It's aimed at that mythical 'new audience'. As far as the ECB are concerned, the rest of us cricket fans can fuck off (that's not the actual words they used, but that's what they mean).
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby WG Kaspar » 14 May 2018, 19:49

Great display by Ireland today and a great occasion for Kevin O'Brian scoring a test ton on his debut.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Dr Markus » 14 May 2018, 20:03

Is this a big deal in cricket terms? or is it just a big deal for a novice team like Eire who have blood on their hands for playing this colonial sport?
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby WG Kaspar » 14 May 2018, 20:15

It's a pretty big deal Markus. They're probably still going to lose but they showed that they belong and a century is always special. Can't wait for Afghanistan playing India next.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Dr Markus » 14 May 2018, 21:31

Fucking traitors.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Penk! » 15 May 2018, 08:56

Dr Markus wrote:Is this a big deal in cricket terms? or is it just a big deal for a novice team like Eire who have blood on their hands for playing this colonial sport?


Scoring a test century is a big deal for anybody, like scoring an international football hat-trick, but especially so for a debutant and even more so in your country's first test match - they're only the 11th team to play full test cricket and O'Brien is only the fourth player to score a century in his country's first game.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby borofan » 16 May 2018, 17:05

Buttler. FFS.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Jumper K » 17 May 2018, 07:18

Unlucky for Jack, great for Dom. Somerset, the home of spin.

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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Penk! » 20 May 2018, 11:41

borofan wrote:Buttler. FFS.


A year ago I might have been in favour but yeah, the guy seemed to have given up on red-ball cricket.

I do wonder if it’s a delaying tactic, a fun experiment while Smith has a longer look at more likely candidates such as Clarke, Lawrence, Northeast etc.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Lord Rother » 20 May 2018, 12:34

Keaton Jennings is playing like a God at the moment.

3 successive centuries and well on his way to a 4th. Not often that happens.

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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby mentalist (slight return) » 24 May 2018, 04:32

* not talking about England Cricket team alert *

So AB de Villiers is retiring from international cricket. The most watchable and probably most naturally talented cricketer around. Apparently he was equally skilled at just about any sport he took up, Cricket, Rugby, Tennis, you name it. I'd prefer to watch him over Kohli, Smith etc.
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby Penk! » 24 May 2018, 12:21

England 3 down on the first morning of the first test.

I think that means summer has officially started, right?
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby borofan » 24 May 2018, 17:49

mentalist (slight return) wrote:* not talking about England Cricket team alert *

So AB de Villiers is retiring from international cricket. The most watchable and probably most naturally talented cricketer around. Apparently he was equally skilled at just about any sport he took up, Cricket, Rugby, Tennis, you name it. I'd prefer to watch him over Kohli, Smith etc.

He's tired apparently. Let's see how tired he is when the hit and giggle starts again...
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Re: England Cricket Team Thread

Postby borofan » 24 May 2018, 17:51

PENK wrote:England 3 down on the first morning of the first test.

I think that means summer has officially started, right?

And bowling before 5pm. Most of the batsmen getting out in exactly the same way as they did all winter. Just as well Cook found a bit of form and managed to dig in.
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