Baron's Million Dollar Jams

[BARON CORNY DOG]

Of course, we are all familiar with the Million Dollar Jam.
Perhaps we are conversant with the phrase "let your backbone slip?"
Maybe we have even seen video games such as "Mortal Kombat" wherein one's skeleton (particularly the backbone) is ripped straight out of the body. A graphic representation, but helpful for what I am getting at.

No matter. That is what a Million Dollar Jam does to me. Then there is the weird gravitational/centrifugal/undertow flux thing going on that makes me nauseous with happiness.

Regrettably, demonstrative evidence will be limited by YouTube availability.

Exhibit A comes, as many other great things seem to do, from Fort Worth, Texas.
Ray Sharpe's eternal "Linda Lu."



Seriously? I want to freak the fuck out.

I get weirded out when the Brits talk about what they expect from a jukebox. People familiar with my JU comps might understand that I am interested, first and foremost, in humidity.

"Linda Lu" is, perhaps, some sort of Platonic Perfection when it comes to what I need to hear from a jukebox. It is the Form. Greasy as shit, racially androgynous, plenty of snap, and just enough guitar on the way out. A perfect record in every way.

You dig?

I knew you would. Whaddya got? Let's have it.
Unless it's the fucking clap.

[Six String]

I've told you before that your ju comps are some of the best that have ever been made imo. They get right down to the heart of the matter. I don't know if it's because I am from the great state of which you too are from and reside, but they hit me in a primal spot that no one, not even the commercial product does. You are the king.



Send me something, please.

[harvey k-tel]

If this doesn't make your ass hit the floor, your center of gravity is fucked.

[Piggly Wiggly]

[BARON CORNY DOG]

Very good, gentlemen!!

[BARON CORNY DOG]

Something before bedtime.

"I wanna thank the men that raise the grapes way out in California . . . "

This, friends, is close to perfect country music. He's missing essential harmony vocals (I would ditch the oohs and aahs for a tighter, closer harmony -- see Roger Miller backing Ray Price), but that sad fact is compensated for by a fiddle armada, which is just short of thrilling. And some nice pedal steel. Much of the time, I think the electric bass deprives country music of a certain buoyancy, but there are qualities to the electric bass that I don't mind and perhaps there's a little more drive. The performance could be crisper, but I won't complain any more, especially since it's probably on account of the background singers that it sounds unduly mushy, if it does.

It is, indeed, Faron's world. We're just living in it.
No extra charge for the joke at the end. (edit: I've had to replace this with a different clip of the tune, so none of that crap applies, same Million $$ Jam, though)

I'm not sure about that cuff links are really appropriate with a bolo tie, though. Come to think of it, I'm opposed to the double-breasted jacket, too. Not because it's a terrible color, but because it's double-breasted.

PS - Baron's Booby Prize to the first to come up with a decent Youtube version of the great "Balinese," a true Million Dollar Jam.

[harvey k-tel]

Well, I don't know about no booby prize, but that last bit put me in mind of this:

[Charlie O.]

Two from Norfolk, Virginia's own Gary "U.S." Bonds:







... and one of Sam The Sham's finest, and least well-known (despite riding on the back of a #1 hit!):

[harvey k-tel]

Sorry, Baron. I don't mean to piss on your shit, but I've just been listening to this and I want to put it here.*



*I did not make the video.

[king feeb]

This is not merely a Million Dollar Jam... this jam could pay off our national debt!

Behold!

[BARON CORNY DOG]

Gary U.S. Bonds is so underrated. He made some killer records! I developed a taste for that stuff at the record store.
Someone once told me (and I'm sure I've repeated this theory here) that Chubby Checker records were worth collecting because they invariably contained a few stone jams. Don't know if it's true, but maybe Charlie O. does.

Behold!

WOW!

I am averse to a lot of 70s funk as it never seems particularly funky -- it often seems to be so overburdened by something (and I don't know what) that it loses its teeth.
Verily, that was a monster jam!

[king feeb]

Sorry, Baron. I don't mean to piss on your shit, but I've just been listening to this and I want to put it here.*



*I did not make the video.

That's the first song I ever learned to play on bass. Great tune.

[Velvis]

It is, indeed, Faron's world. We're just living in it.

It's fun to just watch Faron "feel the rhythm". People don't think of country as a rhythmic genre, but it is, ain't it?

[Velvis]

For me you gotta have some Otis on the jukebox.

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[Velvis]

Well, I don't know about no booby prize, but that last bit put me in mind of this:

That guy's sick (in a good way). I have almost all his Fantagraphics comics.

[BARON CORNY DOG]

Nice Otis cut, Velvis!

It is, indeed, Faron's world. We're just living in it.

It's fun to just watch Faron "feel the rhythm". People don't think of country as a rhythmic genre, but it is, ain't it?

It should be. The country music that I love is very specifically music for dancing. There is a definite formula (evident from almost any country song on one of my JU comps) and it is very rhythmic. My fetish is for the Ray Price shuffle, sometimes re-energized in the 60s by Buck Owens and some of the Bakersfield guys. The formula is the shuffle beat with ample pedal steel and twin fiddles. Usually, the singer should have a pretty strong voice and sometimes they border on being outright crooners. Faron Young is a good example of that. The tune should have a huge chorus, preferably with close harmonies.

Speaking of which, here we have Bakersfield man Wynn Stewart with "Playboy," which appears on something I've put out there at some point. I don't remember right now. I love this record. "This false front I'm wearin/is just to cover my blues." I love the way he delivers "blues." It's funny to me. I also love all the echo on the fiddles at the beginning of the piece. What a record! Wynn Stewart's most famous hit, of course, was "Wishful Thinking" which is absolutely wonderful. Near as I can tell, he later went to schmaltzville, but Charlie O or Muskrat would know better than me.

[Charlie O.]

Someone once told me (and I'm sure I've repeated this theory here) that Chubby Checker records were worth collecting because they invariably contained a few stone jams. Don't know if it's true, but maybe Charlie O. does.

Nope - I'd never heard that before. I only know his hits (and maybe a few flops).

Wynn Stewart's most famous hit, of course, was "Wishful Thinking" which is absolutely wonderful. Near as I can tell, he later went to schmaltzville, but Charlie O or Muskrat would know better than me.

Again I must plead ignorance - I only really know his Challenge stuff.

[king feeb]

Someone once told me (and I'm sure I've repeated this theory here) that Chubby Checker records were worth collecting because they invariably contained a few stone jams. Don't know if it's true, but maybe Charlie O. does.

Nope - I'd never heard that before. I only know his hits (and maybe a few flops).

I always heard his late 60s stuff was worth investigating. And he made a full-blown psych album ala Electric Mud in 1970.

I was farming around on the web, but I didn't find the info I was looking for.

However, I did find this: one of the most egregious uses of "quotation" marks on the "internet" "ever":

In December the re-issue of “Jingle Bell Rock” by Chubby and “Bobby Rydell” goes to #40 in the UK and stops this time in the US at #92. Also in December his newest album “Down To Earth” that has duets with “Dee Dee Sharp” that was released in October stops at #117 on the charts in December. ...On 2 March he hosts “The Limbo Party” stage show at the Cow Palace in San Francisco, CA with guests “Marvin Gaye”, “The Crystals”, “Lou Christie” and “The Four Seasons”... In 1969 he signs a new contract with “Buddah” records and has one charting record with them titled “Back In The U.S.S.R.” that debuted on the singles charts on 5 April but would only go to #82. The song was written by “John Lennon” and “Paul McCartney” and would later appear on “The Beatles (The White Album)” on 25 October 1990...In 1973 he appeared in the Movie “Let the Good Times Roll” with “Chuck Berry”, “Little Richard”, “Fats Domino”, “Bo Diddley”, “The Shirelles”, “The Coasters”, “Danny & The Juniors”, “Bill Haley & The Comets” and others.

[meetthesonics]

Baron wrote:

Exhibit A comes, as many other great things seem to do, from Fort Worth, Texas.

Nothing to add. Just got enjoyed reading it. Great song too.

[BARON CORNY DOG]

Here's something absolutely savage from the upper midwest for your Saturday nite.

The less I say, the better. Suffice it to say, this is pretty much the end of the blues.

[youtube]KX9UG8rqRRQ&feature=related[/youtube]

"Thank ya, honey!"