10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.
9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I woke Up With a Few.
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.
2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.
And the Number One Country & Western song lyric is:
1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day
It was a coincidence because I just discovered Jim Ford and he's got a song very cleverly titled "Happy Songs Sell Records, Sad Songs Sell Beer."
Can we come up with some titles?
I'm So Lazy I Just Shit My Jeans
She Even Took the Kitchen Sink
She Won't Fuck Me (Cuz I'm Old, Fat and Bald)